Thanks so much !!!

has anyone had to control/limit their spouses powers, regarding finances, investments in particular? My DH is fine with money at home, and does not go out without me. A problem arises on rare occasions when he considers our investments.
We are seeing his neurologist in three days. Do I need to get the Dr to sign off on DH’s inability to make good decisions? Or when does this happen? It seems a person needs to be mentally competent to make certain decisions but he has in the past tried to withdraw or move portions of investments.

Thanks

I’m 59 and my DH is 63. He has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s/Dementia. He is moderate to severe. I knew something was wrong and tried to get him to seek help earlier, but he refused. He isn’t accepting the diagnosis, he just says he’s going to die. We have been married for 31 years and have had a wonderful life together. My heart breaks to see him slowly fading away. I feel like I’m taking a crash course in Alzheimer’s. Are there advocates available? Is that what a social worker does? He was just diagnosed less than 2 weeks ago, and our next appointment with his neurologist isn’t until July. Should I expect more information at that appointment about steps that I should be taking? I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed.

She started the zoloft yesterday. She was very dizzy yesterday after taking 25mg, so I had her cut her pills in half. She can still do things like that. Today she took 1/2 dose (12.5mg). I think she's different today, softer and less defensive. Is it too soon to tell?

Today, she confided in me that she cries herself to sleep every night. She can't remember if that just started or not. She's never said that before. Is that from the zoloft or, again, too soon to tell? She says she doesn't see much of a future for herself and I can't argue with that. It's breaking my heart.

My friend's father is showing clear functional decline in daily life — the family has noticed definite changes — but his screaning test(maybe MoCA?) came back normal. Because of that result, his doctor is refusing to order further workup like neuropsych testing or imaging.
He's highly educated, and we've read that cognitive reserve can mask early dementia on screening tests even when something is actually wrong — and that when decline does come, it can be rapid. So stopping here feels really risky.
We came across blood biomarker tests for Alzheimer's, specifically p-tau217 and an amyloid blood test.

A few questions:

1. Did the results actually change anything? Did your doctor agree to order further testing after seeing an abnormal result?
2. Did it help with insurance at all?
3. How did you even get the test done? Most routes seem to go through a clinic. Is there any way to order through a lab directly or any other groups? I looked into it online, but most places require you to buy it as part of their treatment program, or the wait times are really long — so I haven't been able to recommend anything to my friend yet.

Any experiences would be really appreciated, positive or negative. Thanks.

Our experience with her is that she is much worse than this. She has been struggling for a long time with dates, schedules, times. She has been repeating stories and questions and not retaining answers for 2 years. Recently, she was in her own home and she asked me "How am I getting home?" and when I told her "You ARE home," she argued with me for a moment. She has forgotten my brother's name, she mixes up the concepts of Hot and Cold, she needed me to come in to the shower with her the other day because the water was too hot and she couldn't figure out how to turn it down…

Oh, and when I mentioned the memory test her doctor gave her 2 days afterward — she said, "What memory test?"

I've spent the past week with her, and with every excuse she makes for every lapse, I'm starting to question my own sanity!

She blames all lapses on the fact the she is grieving the death of my dad, who passed away in December. I'm sure that makes it worse. But we are caregiving from afar and don't want her to be driving, and we eventually want to get her into assisted living closer to us.

Am I wrong??? Is she more fine than I think???

Tengo muchas preguntas pero no se ni donde empezar.
Vivimos en los angeles, yo vivo con mi esposo y mi hermana mayor. Mi mama vive sola a 5min de nuestro apartamento y la visitamos diario. No tenemos otra familia, solo somos nosotros.

Mi primer pregunta mas importante es: No he podido encontrar un buen geriátrico doctor que hable español con buenos reviews en linea. Yo hablo ingles, pero prefiero un doctor que sepa como hablarle a mi mama con dignidad y con sensibilidad al alzheimers. Hemos tratado con otro doctor bajo su network presente de aseguranza medicare advantage, pero han sido fatales. La unica razon porque no hemos buscado otro bajo su network, es porque antes vivia en orange county por un año y encontramos un neurologo muy bueno y no lo quiero dejar. Eso si, es un buen viaje largo para ir, pero vale la pena.

Cuando se haga el open enrollment para cambiar de plan, talvez pensaba buscar un plan que sea PPO en vez de HMO. Eso nos ha detenido bastante porque el network en el que esta presente, es de orange county y no nos permite ver un doctor cerca de donde vivimos en los angeles county.

Mi mama no sabe que tiene alzheimer's, pero si sabe que tiene problemas de memoria. Nosotros como familia decidimos no decirle porque afectaria mucho su deprecion y declinaria bastante. Ella esta tomando lexapro 5mg para que le ayude a dormir bien en la noche por la anxiedad. Entonces ando buscando un doctor que sepa como hablar con cariño y dignidad de su progreso que este cerca de mi.

Ahorita, tenemos medicare: united healthcare, HMO-POS.
Pensamos que "POS" nos hubiera dejado quedarnos con nuestro neuro de orange county, y tener un geriatrico doctor en los angeles county. Pero aparentemente con el medical group que tenemos, no se puede hacer eso y perderia el neurologo. Entonces tuve que regresar al viejo plan. (Cuando se mudo mi mama cerca de mi, calificaba para nuevo enrollment, pero no funciono como ven arriba) El representante de medicare se equivoco y pues ahora estoy atrapada por ahora.

Entonces, alguien recomienda que hacer mientras para encontrar un doctor que hable español?
La ultima que vimos era solo PCP y era MUY fatal. Nos trato como si no supieramos nada y no fue muy discreta con la manera de platicar sobre la condicion de mi mama. No planeamos ir con ese PCP otra vez, pero ahorita todavia esta en su plan mientras encuentro otro.

Perdon por el gran historial. Hay muy que contar pero un dia a la vez.
Gracias

My mom was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's (mild) state. She currently has Medicare under an Advantage Plan - United Healthcare. Because of her new diagnosis, we are considering moving her back to Original Medicare in order to have more options for care. Does anyone have advice about this (i.e. having Original Medicare vs. an advantage plan) with a dementia diagnosis. Is there a preferred option?

Any insight would be greatly appreciated!

I'm looking to pick a new primary or geriatric spanish speaking doc for my Mom (75) with early alzheimers when open enrollment happens for Medicare. But, I wish there was a way to interview them first before making them her doctor. Is that a thing? Is it weird to do that? Do people do that? What does one ask if so?

For context, we're in LA and i'm looking into UCLA doctors for her. Not many speak spanish it seems, but I'm looking for great bedside manner and compassion for her the most.
Side note- if anyone in LA (burbank/glendale/pasadena preferred) has suggestions that speak spanish outside of UCLA Health, please let me know. I'm desperate to find one close by with good reviews and speaks spanish :(

Thank you

Moving meant new oncology and neurology teams. Once again I needed to try to work with teams who see things through totally different lenses. Fighting to keep my husband on supplements that would help his brain and neuropathy caused by the chemo drugs. Trying to maintain a healthy diet while having the cancer team tell my husband sweets are fine. Looking at the side effects of the cancer drugs and how that would affect his memory. I have kept a notebook since his initial cancer diagnosis, and I can tell them how my husband has reacted to drugs, treatments etc. As a former teacher, I am always prepared!! In voicing my frustration to his memory provider about the cancer team, she suggested we look into Palliative care. It was the research I did on this site that made me seek it out. Ironically, the Palliative Care team works out of the cancer center but they never mentioned this as an option, although they made the referral when I asked about it. We were told by several health professionals that the Palliative Care doctor was wonderful but that was an understatement. She was phenomenal! She spent 90 minutes with us with my stepdaughter joining by phone, as she lives 3 hours away. She had reviewed my husband's file in depth and had resources and forms ready to go. She was kind and engaging with my husband but also firm. We discussed his cancer and memory issues, care teams and how they were different in their outlook on treatment. We talked about my needs for respite and available options. She had the form and her certification for a DNR bracelet and very slowly went through it with my husband. We discussed driving and she decided my husband should no longer drive. Oh, boy this is a really tough one as he has driven hundreds of thousands of miles but I have taken over this task. He still has not completely processed this and it is a daily discussion. I knew from this forum it was time to do this but all of the other health care providers were on the fence about this issue. My husband was so comfortable with this doctor he asked her how long she thought he had to live. We have a very good family doctor who addressed that question in relationship to Alzheimer's but not the Multiple Myeloma. This was the first healthcare professional who knew enough abut both diseases to offer an educated answer. She shared that when the cancer returned it would be very aggressive and the Alzheimer's would also worsen quickly. She explained about the options we will have to work through when the cancer returns including doing nothing but keeping my husband comfortable. Not something we expected out of this appointment but certainly what we needed to hear. We have just finished working with a certified elder law attorney to get all of the important documents for both health and finances completed. The attorney was very knowledgeable and experienced working with clients with dementia. The office had a sign, "Dementia Aware." She even spent time alone with my husband so she was comfortable with the decisions that were made. I was headed towards getting this done but this group pushed me to do it right away. I saw our family doctor this week and he agreed with the palliative doctor on all issues including longevity. Finally, I feel like there is someone who can help us through the challenges ahead. I realize that we have an "off ramp" for this horrible disease and many of you do not. I will continue to pray for strength and guidance for our family and yours as we battle this enemy every day. God bless all of you. Barb

I was able to get my mother to be seen by a neuropsychologist for testing recently, which required very careful persuasion and lying to get her there. They now want to make an appointment to go over the results with her. I am considering not doing this and having them just send me the report, if I can get it. My mom has no idea that she has any memory or thinking or behavioral problems. She gets very agitated and has an explosive temper that has escalated to slapping me last week and threatening to kill me. She screamed and yelled at me during the drive home after the 2 neurology visits that she has already had. Since she does not remember the neurology appointments and any testing that has been done and she lacks any ability to make sound decisions, is there any reason that I should put her and myself through more distress with this next appointment? I do have medical poa, but they refuse to talk with just me.

Thank you in advance for any advice and help!

That said… misery sure does love company.

We finally got in to see a neurologist—an appointment that was originally scheduled for January but I managed to grab a cancellation. And what did we get out of it? Migraine treatment. Not dementia evaluation. Just… migraines. If the meds help, I'm going to be grateful because my husbands migraines are no joke. But I didn't build a medical file that fills up a binder because of his migraines. Problematic, yes. Can be discussed without a binder and a timeline.

Can we start a thread to vent about all the incredibly frustrating things doctors have done when it comes to your PWD? Dismissiveness, delays, misdiagnosis, being brushed off—whatever it is. Let’s compare horror stories. I need to know I’m not the only one yelling silently into the void.

My question, more exactly, is what can a neuologist do for my DH other than prescribe varioius meds or give him experimental meds?

We have been through the non invasive meds and DH has had a reaction to each. We will not do the newer intravenious meds. So, is there a point in continuing to see the neurologist other than have him/her verify DH's progression?

Hoping this group has some info here that maybe I have overlooked.