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To sell or not to sell…
We moved my mom out of her house and into AL near me back in April. She was not emotionally ready to let the house go, so we have not tried to sell it yet. She occasionally talks about moving back there someday, but of course that is never going to happen. However, I think it makes it easier to accept her current…
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Moving things out of my sister's apt.
My sister with Alzheimer's has been in assisted living now for 3 months. It was rough going getting her in. For weeks she wanted to return to her apartment where she lived alone. She now seems happy and settled and is willing to give up her apartment. We plan to move her things out next month. My question, should I let her…
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What to do… Help!
Hello! I have been on here for about a month or so now and have found everyone so very helpful. I have some thoughts I’d like to share and hopefully someone can give some insight into whether or not it would help my situation. So my dad has VD, or so we have been told. He is in a NH that he hates and he “WANTS TO GO HOME”.…
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Decision to Move Dad into Nursing Home?
I'm brand new here and could really use some support from people who have been through something similar. I'm an only child, and my 73-year-old dad has several serious medical conditions, including end-stage renal failure and a previous stroke that left him with speech aphasia. My mom died five years ago, so I'm the only…
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I'm new here, my first post - how can I best help my mom?
My mother is 77 years old, living independently, and diagnosed with dementia/mild cognitive impairment, along with anxiety and depression. My father passed 3 years ago, after they were married 50 years. This was followed by the passing of my brother (my mom's youngest son) at 32 just last August. She has lived in the same…
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AL care plan, doctor's weak follow-up
I had a care plan meeting at Mom's ALF 2 weeks ago. I left the meeting feeling really good because the staff there really seemed to understand everything that was going on with my mom, have observed the same things I have, and seemed to have a good plan of attack for helping her with some things like her anxiety and her…
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How to handle their distrust of doctors
I had a care meeting for my mom at her ALF last week, and they want to have her PCP (who is part of the ALF) evaluate a few things, including her debilitating back pain, her anxiety, and her evening depression, which is probably some form of sundowning. They also want to do some further cognitive screening. They let her…
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Guilt Trips
I've always been susceptible to my mom's guilt trips, which is something I've been exploring with my therapist. But it's especially hard for me to brush them off now, because I feel responsible for moving her into AL near me, and boy does she like to complain about it! The bed is uncomfortable, the vent in the bathroom is…
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Father in hospital, begging me to set him free
This is my first post here. My dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease 3 years ago, and I have been his caregiver ever since. I am his sole caregiver, and we have no family nearby. He had declined to the point recently where I began arranging a room in a nearby memory care facility for him. The weekend before his…
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Entering the fun new phase of paranoia
My mom has been in AL for just over 2 weeks. She finally had her doctor's appointment there with the doctor on staff to establish her as a new patient. It was a very painless exam, he just wanted to go over her medications and he could not have been nicer — she complained about how one of her pills is not delivered to her…
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Anosognosia, suggestions?
My mom moved into AL yesterday and is slowly realizing that most people around her have some kind of ailment. She is so annoyed by all the attention from the nursing staff and is saying things like “They’re acting like I am here for a medical reason” and “What have you got me into?” I know you can’t rationalize with…
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Day 1 at AL
We moved Mom in to AL today. It went a little better than I expected. She loves her room. But she is very angry that they took away her medication and have to administer it to her. She doesn’t understand why. She is also annoyed that people keep stopping by to take her vitals etc. She says “I didn’t think I was coming to a…
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Tomorrow’s the big day; wish us luck!
We are moving my mom into an AL near me tomorrow. (If you have not seen my previous posts, ever since my dad died in December she has been living alone 2.5 hours away.) She has been cooperative and somewhat willing to do this, which even one month ago I would never have dreamed possible. But still makes lots of comments…
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Young Adult Daughter of Dad with Dementia
Hi everyone! I'm 22, just came home from graduating college and sadly my Dad was recently diagnosed with Dementia after 2 years of agitation, aggression, and eventually psychosis symptoms. With the help of medication, we are so grateful to now get glimpses of the phenomenal superhero of a man/dad he was for me all my life.…
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Reassure me that I am doing the right thing
My dad passed away in December and my mom has been living alone ever since, 2.5 hours away from closest family (me). She has what my brother and I believe to be stage 4 dementia based on the DBAT assessment. Last month her PCP only diagnosed her with "memory loss," she scored a 24/30 on the MMSE, but he did take away her…
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The "Trial Period" approach
I posted yesterday about how we are putting my mom into an AL community in a couple weeks. She agreed to go there, thank god, mostly after we followed the facility's recommendation of telling her it's a 30-day trial period. This seems to be a common approach. However, I feel like this is going to backfire on us.…
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We can’t afford care for my mom
Hello, My mom was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She’s only 63, so we are highly unprepared for this. To make matters worse, she has very little money saved and my family is not a position to help financially. She also lives in CA while I’m in WA state adding more hurdles to finding her adequate help. We’ve set up…
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Did you keep your LO home too long? Then what?
Fellow travelers: I recently learned that a PWD may have progressed beyond a point where Memory Care will take them. I've always assumed that at some point I might need to put my DH in Memory Care, but the idea was always to have him stay home as long as it was not too difficult and/or expensive to care for him. (I work…
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Over medicating ? chemical restraint ?
I need some advice .. My step father who is only 61 years old has been battling frontal lobe dementia for 2 years now but recently his behaviors have increased to being up at night wandering from room to room , pacing and moderate confusing and anger, with possible treats of wanting to end his life , but he was not…
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From NPR: Dementia Care without Locked Wards
https://www.npr.org/sections/shots-health-news/2025/11/17/nx-s1-5600877/dementia-alzheimers-care-housing-senior-living-inclusion-segregation
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Early On-set sadness
My DH seems to be advancing rapidly in his disease; he is only 61. I feel guilty that it's because I can't provide the level of care he needs. We've made too many trips to the ER lately. Most recently, he fell out of bed, tripped on a metal step stool, broke it, and then snapped the stabilizing bar, and it stabbed him in…
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Placement/Agitiation/Aggression
My father has MS dementia. He acted out against my mother a few weeks ago and he is currently under a doctor's care at a local hospital. The issue now is that no facility will take him if he is agitated/aggressive. He is under restraints at the hospital because he keeps attempting to take IVs/feeding lines out (he refuses…
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What type of longterm facility/community takes LO with Suicidal Ideations & Alzheimer’s?
null Dad is 87 diagnosed with mild-moderate Alzheimer’s a year ago and has been taken twice (to two different) Geri-psych units, went willingly with paramedics, for suicide ideations but refuses medication. He even wrote a goodbye letter. He sees no future, no purpose in living, at times. The Geri-psych unit did not…
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home care vs assisted living
My mom has Alzheimers and my dad has dementia. I'm trying to decide whether to place them in an assisted living facility or hire 24/7 home health care in their home. They live in NY and I'm in MA. Does anyone have experience with either? I'm trying to think of a list of pros and cons. Thanks.
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Where to go if Long-Term Memory Care will not accept my sister's combative behavior?
My sister with EOAD has been in a Geriatric Psych unit for a month now. She was removed from her Assisted Living Memory Care facility after only a week for aggressive and combative behavior. During an incident she was sent to the ER where after that she was admitted to the Geriatric Psych unit to develop a medication and…
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Mom lives in Independent Living Fac, needs to move to AL, hard 'No!'
I am new to this forum. I have found many discussions relevant to my situation. I received a lot of good information from these discussions, but I figured I'd post my question on the off chance some more information may come to light. I currently care for my Mother with the help of my wife. My mom moved from out of state…
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Assisted living room changes
My mom has been at the assisted living facility since October 2023. She is in a 2-room apartment, which we originally selected due her having 2 senior male dogs. At this point, the dogs are no longer there, and my mom is transitioning from moderate to severe. I was asked by the staff at the facility today how I would feel…
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Long Distance Mom has Dementia, and I am the only Child
Hello, I live a plane flight or 1.5-days driving away from my mom and I am only son. She has dementia and lives alone with her dog and cat. I can see her deterioration and have taken over all of her bills, taxes, online shopping, ordering food deliveries, etc for her. I have three children (teenagers) living with me and…
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Does Memory Care actually help
I obviously have been obsessing about memory care for months. My husband is probably late stage 5, can't do any ADL's without help, very bad arthritis so walking is difficult. We go to twice weekly exercise classes and various musical events and will occasionally take a short walk in a nearby canyon. He will walk short…
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How to talk to Parent about moving to Independent Living when they don't want to leave their home
Any advice on how to talk to parent with mild dementia who does not want to move out of their house into a care facility? For reference, my mom got diagnosed last Fall and is now having issues with remembering to take her medicine and eat, also can't keep track of days and is forgetting how to use her oven. My sister and I…