Help! Stress! Daughter and Mother

kathyav0530

Hello and Good Evening, to tell you the truth I didn’t know about this group at all. I thought I was the only one going through what I was going through. I’m grateful for this and appreciate it. My mother was diagnosed with dementia two years ago and has gotten worse. My mother gotten dementia because my father passed away. They were best friends. Two peas in a pod. Unseparatable. It was a beautiful love story. My mother almost committed suicide by mistake by her deep depression. She had back pain and took the wrong medicine and fainted. I found her knocked out in her sofa. I called her name and shook her and my mother wasn’t waking up. I called my friend who is a NPA (nurse practitioner) works in the ER . I already checked her vitals ( pulse) was good.She said slap her face if she doesn’t wake up and if she doesn’t wake up call 911. I slap her face woke her up and was confused. 3 years later I made mother sell her house and sold my husband and I home.
I’m my mothers caregiver. I take her to her doctors appointments, I schedule her appointments, any phone calls for bills, medical , rides , cook, shopping and ect.
My mother doesn’t have friends. All her friends she had with my father gone. Because it was more a couples hanging thing and now my dad is not around anymore they won’t hang with my mother anymore. I tried for her to get on Facebook for her to make friends. Nope she doesn’t want to. I asked her to watch tv. She says she doesn’t want to. The only thing she wants to do is. Have her coffee with our dog. Our family dog is everything for us. She even sleeps with my mother. Goes on her morning walks. Comes home takes a shower. Eats a snack. Reads her Bible. Cleans. Reads her Bible and plays word search puzzle ( thank God) we eat dinner at 7pm and go to bed at 830pm. That’s her routine every single day. What’s stressful about in between those days she depends on me and it’s so stressful I also I have a kid and a husband. It’s tough sometimes . Sometimes she wants to play the lotto and I tell her to go. She says she wants to with me. I told her she can go by her self it’s just 4 mins away. She gets angry. My mother still has her mother alive. My grandma is 95 yrs old. She also has alziemizers and dementia. My family in South America they don’t take care of her like they should. My mother comes to me everyday like 5 times repeating the same thing what she said 1 hour ago. I love my mother to death and I’m her for her always no matter what. But I need help. Please help me! I’m stressed. :-( :(

Kmmomx2

Hi Kathy,

This is my first time signing in to the Alz website to get help! I called the 24/7 help line last night because I couldn't even breath, I was so overwhelmed! I know exactly what you are going through! I am in a very similar situation! My mom lives with me, my husband and our 2 teenage kids. I am an only child, so I have no one else to help me! My mom is 75 and seems to be in a very similar stage as your mom as far as just wanting to be home, have her coffee, sit watch tv with her dog on her lap doing word search puzzles.

I don't know if I can help you but I am going through the exact same thing as you. My story is a little more complicated but wanted to answer you because I feel your stress. So many emotions and so hard to separate the disease from the person when caring for them. I would love to connect with you to see how you are doing since you sent this in August.

I hope you have time for you today!

Kim [email protected]

kimberleykaiser

I have been looking for support group to find people going through similar things as me. It took me a bit of time to accept my mom has dementia. I finally have opened up about it to friends. I do not live close to my parents, they moved south and then a year ago moved even further south. I call or FaceTime my parents 3-4 times a day and I feel selfish when I feel tired or exhausted. I always try and sound happy and positive but truthfully I’m so burnt out. Last 2 vacations, I traveled down to visit and my mom asks me when I will visit again and all I can think of is taking my bike out and riding peacefully without worrying of calming down my mom if she has an episode. I wish my parents would move back up north so it wouldn’t be so difficult.