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Sad caregiver
I am sure blue. I work so hard to stay cheerful, keep my spouse occupied and happy. I can never meet his needs, I am always a step behind.
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What to do in emergency!!
I asked my wife if I collapse and was unresponsive what would you do. She had no idea who to call I told her 911, 15 min later I asked her again had no idea. This does worry me as shit happens. Has issues using phone. ANY IDEAS
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Wants to go home to his parents
My DH has asked off and on over the last few months if his parents are alive, and I’ve said no they are not and he’s been fine with that. Over the last couple of weeks, around 6:00 or so, he mentions he needs to go home. I tell him you live here with me so you can just stay here - again he’s been fine with that. Today at…
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Wants to talk to his parents
I’m posting again on this issue because it came up again but worse. He wants to see his parents again. I said they were staying with his sister for a while. He wants to call them to talk to them. I pretended to call his sister and that she didn’t answer - and I would try again later. Distraction wasn’t helping at all. Then…
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hello I am new to the group
I am asking for help for anyone who would know how I could go about this. My husband has been diagnosed for 6 years but was in a fog for 3 years before that before we go the diagnosis. He is moderate to severe state, cannot drive, dress himself, walks with walker and not good at that, has trouble with speech. He was a…
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Way to long and now he is gone
Hello all, it has been way to long since I have posted or even been on this site. It was just too hard. I enrolled my DH into hospice the end of Sept. basically because of dramatic weight loss. He went from 175lbs in April to 145lbs in Sept. They have a hospice respice center with 10 beds where you loved ones can go for 5…
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Just need to talk to my friends (202)
Iris, cutting ice is a really important chore when it's freezing, otherwise either the cows won't have water or they'll walk out on the ice and break through into the icy water and freeze. I remember Charles cutting ice on the pond and when he would cut a big piece he would slide it under the unbroken ice. Usually would…
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How many caregivers are keeping their spouses at home until the nightmare ends?
I’m absolutely determined to see my DH through this nightmare. I am determined to keep him home until the end. Are there others out there that are doing this and have you managed to keep your sanity through it? My husband is in stage late 4/early 5. He’s always been extremely calm, kind, gentle, helpful, loving. I just…
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Leqembi infusions
We're looking into getting my DW on Leqembi infusions. Can anyone using this Med tell me if it works or causes more harm?
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Do some MCFs accept those who can no longer transfer?
The one I toured told me no, once they get to the stage of not being able to transfer themselves out of bed to a walker for example, they won’t accept them. And if they are already in their MC when they get to this stage, they put them in their SNF, which is like a hospital. No private rooms. Can you all tell me your…
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Waiting
Why do I always feel like I'm waiting on something? My DH has VD and alz. Plus multiple other problems copd cad ect. . Now he almost seems normal. I keep waiting for something to happen. WHY? WHY CANT I JUST ENJOY THE PLATUE HE IS ON?. What is wrong with me?
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Xmas decorations everywhere...
Just need to vent - my DH was diagnosed recently with MCI although I believe that he is further along and we will be getting further evaluation. In the meantime, I am really struggling with his "organization" skills and insistence that he does not need help. DH has always taken great pride each year in setting up full size…
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Dreaming of the future
We spend so much time caring for our demented spouses. Our lives are turned upside down and inside out, being dragged down the rabbit hole with our spouses to "dementia land". Our days look so very different with more work than we can accomplish and little time for ourselves and our needs. My husband is sleeping more these…
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DH says he feels worthless
It breaks my heart when he told me he feels worthless because he can’t do the things he used to do. I reaffirmed the things he’s doing right but that’s not enough. He still says he feels useless and good for nothing.🥲
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projecting future costs and availability of funds
Today I learned that your investment person, or financial advisor, or ??? can put your information into a spreadsheet that projects how long someone's funds will last if they enter memory care at a given date. Intuitively I knew this could be done but it had never been suggested to me in a "you ought to do this now" sort…
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Being Alz”hammered”
Anyone been Alzhammered? Allow me to explain. So there you are finally taking time out, you go for a few hours out to relax and some of your acquaintances happen to be there. Mine happens to be the local Moose Lodge. Not so much friends but people you hang out with when you're there. Everyone asks you how your LO is… how…
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Is Memory Care inevitable?
My DH is stage 6. So far I’ve been able to be the sole caregiver. Family sometimes gives me a break. He won’t cooperate with in home care, just follows me everywhere trying to get away from them. Thank God for meds that keep him agreeable (mostly) He is incontinent and at times bowel incontinent. The underwear from…
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DW recently put in MC facility
My DW is 82 , and has middle stage Alzheimer's. After being a 24/7 caregiver for 2 years, I had to place her because I just couldn't do it anymore. She has been there for 3 months now. I visit her often, and she knows who I am and that we are married. However, she seems to be attracted to several men in the facility, and…
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Packing up to go to other home
My DH is packing up the car to go to his house. When I ask him where that is, he says our address. I have him look outside to see the neighbor's house, the street we live on, the yard, etc. He will agree this is the address, but there is another place. He has been going in an out so much the house is freezing! ( it is 21…
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From Maybe to Reality
DH in ES thought. Then, several episodes of mis-rememering, including asking our adult son if he remembered a certain episode from his (DH's) youth. For the past 3 weeks he has been just fine, more or less, just the occasional lost word. In my mind I knew he still had Alz, but it just seemed like , well, maybe it will be a…
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How can I get DH to sleep at night?
Hubby would probably be a wanderer if we still lived in a large house rather than a condo. He also needs my assistance getting around, even with a walker. So every night we're up and down going from the bed to toilet, to bed, to living room... he wakes me 8-10 times a night. Sometimes he does need to urinate but usually he…
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Paranoia
My wife has become paranoid. She has accused me of stealing her mail, and is convinced that our daughter has stolen bed pillows and jewelry from her. I’ve tried reasoning with her, but to no avail. Any ideas on how to deal with this?
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Alcohol and guns
Hi, I am new to this community and have been desperately trying to find a support system while caring for my partner. we were both widowed 16 years ago when we met. Timing was perfect and we have enjoyed many years of companionship. 3 years ago I notices he could not retain complicated problems. In August he was diagnosed…
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Procrastinating
I ask myself why I am putting off getting help at home for my DH Why is such a simple decision so hard for me to make. It would help me so much to know I can go out and someone will be with him. Give myself piece of mind. But yet I put it off ! Do I really want a stranger in my house , I’ll be tied to their schedule or do…
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When you have to correct LO
My LO is certain her home is across the street and will head that way from time to time. The only distraction is to offer a ride home. Works. I know we are not supposed to correct lo’s, but how can you tell your LO that that house and others are not their home with out creating a stressful situation… Kind of an odd…
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MCI Diagnosis
My DH has been diagnosed with MCI after a fairly brief evaluation from a neurologist (with review of his MRI and bloowork). It appears that this is an umbrella term that could mean any number of things, so I'm confused about his actual diagnosis. I'm contemplating getting a more detailed neuropsych evaluation but hear that…
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Sitting Vigil
I am sitting vigil tonight at DH's bedside. It took three tries to insert a new Foley catheter this morning. Each insertion in recent months had been more and more difficult. He began bleeding out. He has an enlarged prostate and a latent tumor that he's had for 23 years. He may have a new tumor, too. He has lost a great…
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I Think It's Time
Not for MC, though that will be coming soon. Time to quit my job. I thought I could hang in there with it, but I simply cannot do it. I find the job so frustrating — a super dysfunctional org with lots of disrespect thrown around. And, I'm an utter wreck from feeling split every hour of the day between trying to keep some…
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Why?????
(Insert scream at top of lungs) Why??? Why my bf who is 45??? Why anybody??? Freaking WHY!!!!????? I HATE THIS DISEASE SO MUCH!!!!! Ill never understand why? We are all in this together 💜
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Torn and heartbroken
Hello all. I am coming to ask advise and what others have done. I have been advised by my hubby's doctor that it may be wise to get a divorce. What?!?!? Heart is not accepting that. They stated it was so that the state doesn't take all our assets for his care. If we do it now, it is early and they won't override it. Have…