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Just need to talk to my friends (213)
Morning, welcome to December! Carl and Ron, it's 32 here, mostly drizzle but it's icy in Tulsa and snow North of there. Lots of accidents and backups in Tulsa. If you get out today, please be careful. I have no plans to be out, maybe on the front porch to feed the birds. I saw a few on the porch looking for food yesterday.…
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Moving to a Care home.
My DW is being moved to a care home. She constantly screams at me. She has been in the hospital for 5 days now. Tomorrow she will be moved to a care home. Today I got her bed etc. moved to the care home. Tomorrow the hospital will move her to the care home. I'm so tired, drained and hurt. She spent most of the day…
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Merry Christmas?
My DH is Stage 6, mostly cognitive age 4. He was diagnosed 4 years ago. Because he was an athlete, he is very physically strong. He still has joy for our dogs, loves to eat, and mostly easy going. Until he's not. I took him to cut down a Christmas Tree as I want to give him a nice Christmas. His family have not stepped up…
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How to answer if your DH says he is dying.
My DH is in the late stages of dementia. He has difficulty swallowing, and has lost nearly 40 lbs. He is wheelchair bound, sleeping a lot, and is double incontinent. During this Christmas season, the MC facility where is lives is having a lot of entertainment come in. Their performances are mostly Christmas music. He…
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STAGE 8 - There is no other side of grief...
My soulmate husband Lonny passed August 12. I feel lost most of the time but am trying to find myself without him. Found this on a Facebook post today. So true. I had my own notion of grief. I thought it was the sad time, that followed the death of someone you love. And you had to push through it to get to the other side.…
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Sticker for vehicle…
I saw this and realized it would help if you have a passenger in your car who has dementia. If there is an accident, this would be important. Also put something in your car or phone in case of emergency so they could contact a secondary caregiver. Anyone have their loved one wear a medical alert bracelet? I’m not sure my…
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Intimacy and guilt
My DH (probably late stage 4 or into stage 5?) makes comments and wants to be intimate alot! I on the otherhand have not wanted to for some time, just no desire. I feel guilty for not being intimate with him, but just can not bring myself to. DH has always had a higher drive than me. I keep thinking this will probably get…
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More about spitting…
It’s been a long time since I’ve checked in. My husband is still going strong physically and he’s on eighteen years since learning he had a diagnosis of MCI. Probably twenty five years if counting behavioral changes proceeding memory loss. He’s considered to be in advanced stages of loss of cognition, but I’m not…
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Different respite question
Because my husband is on Hospice, I can get a three day respite. He would go to a Hospice house that is secure. My question is this: What would things be like once he came back to our home? Would he be more confused? Would it make things worse with his behaviors? Can anyone comment on their own experiences with their LO…
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Hurt Feelings
A bit of background. I’m 69, my DH is 81. We have been together 35 years. I was a widow with two young daughters. He was divorced with no children. He raised my girls and they love him. We have 3 grandchildren. About 6 years ago we did a living trust with both girls splitting whatever we have. Last night, out of the blue,…
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Wants to constantly use the bathroom.
Hi I am new looking for some advise on maybe how to distract my person from this behavior. My DH is in moderate stage Alz. He does not understand time and has just started becoming obsessed about using the bathroom to urinate. He will use the bathroom and a few minutes later wants try again and of course cannot go and…
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I’ve never lived there.
Tonight my DH asked me to take him to the city he grew up in, home. He even recited his old childhood address which no longer exists. I asked him if he ever lived in _________(the name of our town). He said no, I’ve never lived there, but I did live in Chicago for 11 yrs. I thought how sad, all the memories in our house…
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Clinginess
Hello all- I was going to reply to another post from a few days ago because she specifically mentioned the increase in unwanted opinions from her DH and so this is related, but also I am kind of thinking perhaps a precursor to shadowing maybe? Want to see what you guys think and what your experience has been. Anyway, my DH…
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Showtiming Is Fascinating
My husband (56 with EOA) recently had a 4-week hospital stay due to Ulcerative Colitis, which led to blood clots and malnutrition. He is currently at home. He can barely walk. He eats maybe 500 calories a day. He argues with me about taking his medications every single morning. He did the same thing in the hospital and had…
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Not Sure Where to Turn
The last 5 years have been a roller coaster. No doctors agree. Some say dementia. Others say not. We've been chasing a diagnosis and hopeful for any help. It's gotten to the point where I know it is dementia. My wife and I are 61 years old. I need a doctor who cares and doesn't want to spend 5 minutes once a month and then…
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Alcohol and dementia
My DH was diagnosed with early onset dementia 3 months ago. It was suggested he limit alcohol to 2 or 3 drinks a day. He has been regularly drinking each day at mid-afternoon and passes out by 6 pm for a couple of hours. He cut back briefly but he’s gradually increasing again. We had an argument about it tonight and I got…
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Don't know where we are in this
My 65 y.o. DH was diagnosed with early stage Alzheimer's this past July. I know things haven't been right for a couple years even before the diagnosis. I didn't know much of anything about AD and I'm trying to learn. He is still fully functional, has a lot of trouble remembering words, losing his train of thought, working…
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Accusations
i am new to the group….my DH has early stage dementia..he hasnt been tested as he refuses…the accusations and delusions are getting much more frequent..the dr prescribed meds for his anxiety but he is refusing to take all his meds as he says i am trying to kill him….he is with me always..refuses to have me go anywhere on…
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UTI
DH had a low grade fever this morn, 99.7, gave aspirin, agitated more than norm. I used the home UTI test strip and showed positive for UTI. We went to ER with urine sample in hand. ER said couldn't use the sample, no problem, cause DH soon needed to relieve himself again. ER tested fresh sample and said negative for UTI.…
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A resource for guilt and resentment
I found a resource to help myself, and anyone who struggles w/resentment and the guilt that comes with it. As I was listening to the audiobook version of The Unexpected Journey by Emma Heming-Willis for at least the fourth time, one chapter really struck me this time… Chapter Six: Expect an Array of Emotions. In this…
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Whyyyy!!!?????
I can't do this. I lost my love Luis (46 yo eoa) just yesterday morning but it feels much longer. I cried going to bed last night thinking what do I do tomorrow? He won't be in the bedroom when I get up, with his legs up in the fetal position cycling them back and forth. Who is going to watch me get ready in the morning…
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Hubby in memory care the nurse?
hubby in MC one month and 12 days. His reasoning skills are impaired. He cannot understand he can come home sometimes but has to go back there. Today he cried about going home and I cried too. I just couldn’t stand seeing him this way. One of the nurses or maybe she’s an aide said he’s cries all the time. That I should…
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It's been four months since DW died
I am hanging in , mostly.
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Christmas tree
With all the issues there are to deal with, this seems so very trivial. But, maybe someone here has some wisdom for me. I used to LOVE putting up the Christmas tree. It was almost a "ceremony" for me, with holiday music playing and every single ornament being hung on the tree. Window swags, candles, a village of ceramic…
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Update: Mood swings and anger issues
I want to think everyone who responded to my last post. That night I got a call from hospice to discuss my wife’s condition. I mentioned her anger and was told that the memory care staff had Lorazepam on hand that they could give her with my permission. I said that was alright with me and was told it would be passed on. On…
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cant do it anymore
I have finally reached breaking point to look after my dad anymore too many obsticales by his ex wife who is involved . if i walk away am i a bad person
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How to have patience and not start resenting your spouse.
Hi: My DW has had VD for 3 years and I'm the sole care giver. It's 24/7 year-round. Today she woke me screaming to come wipe her bottom. Yes, I have had to do many times, but to get woke up out of a deep sleep to her screaming clean my bottom. I almost lost my temper; how does someone not get up start resenting your…
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Speech Therapy
I am just wondering what are the thoughts on speech therapy. My DH has VD about stage 6 and advanced aphasia. I am beginning to feel like a bad person because I have not taken him to a Speech Therapist. It was brought up in conversation with a Dementia Support worker. He can’t remember instructions and definitely finds…
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Xmas
Every year we celebrate xmas here. There is 13 people. My Dh didn't do well at Thanksgiving here,there was about 20. So i really don't know what to do. I want to spend xmas with my kids but Thanksgiving was stressful. He was agitated and hateful. I tried keeping him distracted and a place for him to get away,did not work.…
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Am I a bad person
I wake up every morning and pray that God gives me the strength and patience to get through another day of caring for my DW. She is in late stage 5/ early stage 6 and we have been on this journey a little over 3 years. Lately she has just cried every day wanting to go home and asking for her deceased parents and saying she…