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Just need to talk to my friends (219)
Summer is here, I guess. Heat index today was 100+ and will be again tomorrow, then a little cooler. Carl, does the smoke alarm come with the battery or can you buy the battery separately to put in another one? There was a warning yesterday on tv to not put lithium batteries in the trash. Someone did and it started a fire…
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What do you think caused it?
I am certain every one of you has asked this question: what caused this to happen to my loved one. I have different thoughts at different times. But if I had to pick one guess I am going to say statins. Although correlation is not causation it’s hard to ignore the uptick in statin use with the uptick of dementia over the…
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Lost all personal info
Today the Hospice nurse was here for weekly visit. Most weeks we talk about how the last week has went and then vitals are checked. About every 6 months or so they will ask my DH personal questions. Usually he can always tell the nurse his name and then the other information such as where he is, what season it is, etc is…
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Elder law attorney specific recommendations?
Please excuse if this is not appropriate to ask. I've been interviewing elder law attorneys for Medicaid planning for my early-stage spouse and am wondering if anyone has any specific recommendations for Northern NJ, Bergen County in particular.
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Preparing for the inevitable future.
My darling bride just turned 60 and has had a diagnosis for two years. Looking back she probably had symptoms in the past up to 5 years ago. We're still doing very well at home, and were able to do a lot of things, but I need to start preparing for the eventual time when she needs more help. My question is about what I…
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Changes
Some things have been changing with my 79-year-old DH… Found out last week that he no longer can be relied on to get back in the vehicle so no more shopping with me. He doesn't yet qualify for hospice care. He is too healthy. Occasionally, I have to feed him. He is completely incontinent. I decided that I need some help. A…
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Where do you live
I love this site. Great people suffering alongside with me giving the best experiences and helpful information. I would love to hear where all of you live. My DW and I live in Northern California.
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Vascular Dementia
I would like to hear from anyone who is dealing with a spouse or LO who has this dx. My husband has been diagnosed with cerebral amyloid angiopathy—which seems to be the cause of this vascular dementia. We have been married since 1994. He is 79. This dx has turned him into basically a different person. He is 6'10" and has…
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CARE AT HOME UNSUSTAINABLE
My DW’s psychiatrist and non-residential memory care activities director have recommended residency, telling me that my caring for her at home is “unsustainable” and that I’m harming myself by trying to be her sole caregiver. What form could/will that “harm” take? What could happen to me? I’m stressed, sure, but feel that…
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My wife will get her official diagnosis of Alzheimer's moderate and I am terrified
Hi, Like I guess everyone here, I'm walking through a threshold where I don't know the path, the landscape, or what's ahead. What I DO know is that I love my wife. and we. will walk this path together, as we have always done in tough situations over these last 32 years. The doctor's office called today to say the last of…
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So much to handle
I was just diagnosed with frozen shoulder on the left and bone on bone on the right shoulder requiring shoulder replacement. I’ve opted for cortisone shot and PT ; as I cannot figure out how to take care of DH 6 yrs into VD . How do all of you deal with this? I woke up this morning to go to PT to find my left foot was…
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Any experience with urge incontinence?
My DH with VD is still continent and can do his ADLs independently. His memory is pretty good, is aware of his surroundings, doesnt wander and is still ambulatory. We have a urinal in each vehicle to facilitate frequent urination and urge incontinence. He will use it, but sometimes struggles to get his jeans zipper down…
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Advice on Handling Drinking and Dementia
I have been trying to eliminate whiskey from the diet of my HWD, but it just seems to cause problems between he and I. I don’t mind him drinking beer or wine, but he has gone overboard regularly in the past when he starts drinking whiskey. He only drinks in the evening. We have poured 4 large bottles of whiskey down the…
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Venting
My DH has early onset Alzheimer's. He is only 57. He is a wonderful man but it's getting more difficult to discuss anything with him and I'm having a hard time with dealing with it. Anything I suggest, he shoots down. I wanted to check the gutters due to water pooling in front of the garage and he just made little…
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No more eating out
I am just venting- my DH is in mid to late stage Alzheimer’s disease. We have always enjoyed eating out with family and friends and this was a great opportunity for social connections until past months. DH has become a messy eater and no longer appropriate to take him out- plus he sits kinda hunched over with head down and…
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Has anyone here thought about divorce?
I don't know if I should post this or not…I'm sure it's not going to be a popular one! My husband has alzheimer's dementia. He has never been kind, caring or sweet and has been verbally abusive our entire marriage…56 years. We have no children, or heirs…he is estranged from his family, except for a brother, who has headed…
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Putting the beloved cat to sleep
Might have to put the cat to sleep. My WWD lives for that cat. I fear it will trigger a sharp decline in her condition. Would it be better for her to be present or absent when he is put to sleep?
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6/16/2026
It’s June 16 2026. Why do I mention this date? Pamella (my DW who is in stage 6 needing assistance in showering, dressing, toileting and medication), has had a few tough days and I have too. She has been agitated or crying most of the days and I am not sure how I can take care of her agitation or crying except to give her…
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The Limits of Caregiving
I am 87 and my wife is 85. It's been 8 years since her Alzheimer's was first noticed and now she is in Stage 6. We have had a wonderful life overall and a great marriage (67 years) and two sons we are proud of. But face it, our life is over. We have no friends now, nothing to look forward to except a struggle to get…
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Who are we really?
We are partners, nurses, thinkers, rememberers, caretakers and captain of a ship we are trying desperately to keep from sinking. We think less of ourselves and more of who we care for. We are the lonely, the lost and often the forgotten. We are what none of us thought we would be. On the flip side of all that, we are…
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Dementia certified caregivers
Would becoming a certified dementia caregiver help me remotely manage my DO's care? I'm looking for more specific info on how to communicate with her and her anticipated caregivers. I'd appreciate the groups input on whether a certified caregiver seems to be more knowledgeable than non-certified caregivers. Thanks for…
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Looking the other way- Purchases ad nauseum and Hoarding.
Good evening folks. My DH is a chronic buyer of almost all things. We married late and this year makes # 13. He is early 70's and I am mid 70's. It took me a while to see and come to grips with his hoarding nature. I feel so overwhelmed by it all at times. When he has a sort of fit about "what is all this!" as he may point…
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Caring for partner with adult children
I am the caregiver for my longtime partner who is in early/moderate stages. His four adult children live at a distance and have limited involvement and contacts with him. A son is his financial POA (minimal needs for assistance so far) and another son looks after a disabled sister, which is appreciated. They do not ever…
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Thoughts on Travel
My husband is 56 and has Dementia, Dercum's Disease, and a TBI from his military service. He is well into stage 4. He easily loses focus, gets confused, loops with questions, loses items, forgets to take meds or where he is going, and we are having the discussion about driving because he has gotten lost 3 times in trying…
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Long term care
I am new to the forum. I woke up a week or so ago and was just researching things on ALZ, and came across various discussions. My husband is from a large family (20 siblings and 7 children), and dementia runs in his family. I had some idea what was ahead when he began to have cognitive issues, but I was optimistic that we…
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Brain autopsy
Is anyone planning on getting a brain autopsy on their LO once they enter stage 8? If so, how did you go about making the arrangements? I think I would like to know what dementia(s) my DH had for the sake of his children and grandchildren.
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Update on my “plan B”
In my last post I stated I broke my ankle and had NO plan B. Turns out I broke my tibia, fibula and 5th metatarsal and now have a cast to my knee. Absolutely NO weight bearing and No driving. So it’s been a fast course in asking for and receiving help. I looked into home health but no return phone calls but seems I may…
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Do an Angioplasty with S4?
Hello Friends, My DW had a diagnostic heart calcium test showing “medium” elevated numbers, so we visited the cardiologist. She has no common heart problem symptoms and her echocardiogram was normal, but her following stress test revealed “some” reduced O2 absorption at the top and bottom of the heart. The cardiologist…
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Memory care questions
I’m in the process of finalizing my plan B for my DW with EOAD. I’ve got a couple of questions for those that have placed their LO into MC or SNF. How long did you stay away at the initial placement and once your LO was settled in how often did you visit and for how long each time. A question for those of you that placed…
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Doctors visit gone wrong
Sorry for the long post. My DH is in year 5 of official diagnosis of vascular/FTD dementia. We have a wonderful doctor we see every 6 months. Or more if needed. In March he took what I call a hard dip and we went in for his 6 months appointment . A few medicine changes started taking place that seemed to make things worse.…