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How to deal with denial
My DH is probably in stage 5 or 6 Alzheimer's. Ever since the diagnosis was made (about 4 years ago) he has adamantly denied that there is anything wrong with him. He now freely admits that his memory is not good, but if I say or do anything that makes him aware that I am "caregiving" he says that I am treating him as if…
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Facing the Emotional Side of Caregiving
This website has helped me deal with some of my feelings, and to be kind to myself when doing so. I hope it helps you, too! https://www.caregiver.org/resource/emotional-side-caregiving "If you don’t deal with ALL of your emotions, they can be like a two-year-old who wants your attention: they will keep tugging at you until…
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Intimacy and guilt
My DH (probably late stage 4 or into stage 5?) makes comments and wants to be intimate alot! I on the otherhand have not wanted to for some time, just no desire. I feel guilty for not being intimate with him, but just can not bring myself to. DH has always had a higher drive than me. I keep thinking this will probably get…
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My Attitude is Getting Worse
My wife and I will have been married 62 years in March. Throughout our marriage, we've had our up's and down's - so much so that we're now to the point of having lost the spark that generated the fire so many years ago. Her mother had Alzheimer's and the fear of the disease has prompted my wife to ask me several times if…
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So Frustrating
This is one part of this terrible disease that just frustrates me so much. How can you have a great day with your LO in a great mood enjoying each other and all of a sudden they just start crying uncontrollably for no reason in my mind what may have caused the change.
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Just need to talk to my friends (214)
Happy 2026 to all our front porch friends. Hopefully this new year will be a better year for each of us and for our Country. Everyone is probably sound asleep right now and I will be in a few minutes, too. Stormy needed to go outside for a minute and I just thought I would get 214 started. See you later.
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Help with nail care
My husband's finger and toe nails need some serious attention, beyond what I feel i am able to do. His finger nails are long, yellowed and thick. A few of them are black in color and look terrible. His toe nails are really long and very thick. I'm amazed he can even get socks on over them, they are bad. They are too thick…
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Memory Care Hell
I placed DH in what was a reputable MC in September. It would take too long to share all the problems. But I have met with corporate leaders and now have the ombudsman involved. I have another facility evaluating him Monday. I fear that they will label him difficult or combative and make moving more difficult. Currently,…
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Move forward with hip surgery for DH?
I'm still not positive what stage my DH is in, but guessing stage 4 with some symptoms on 5 creeping in. Some days he seems close to "normal" and then there are days that are the opposite. He's still able to care for himself and even fixes dinner for us now and again. Still does his usual chores around the house. Withthat…
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Life is getting harder...
Life is getting harder and DH isn't as far along as many of yours. I should have known better but we went to Costco together today. DH uses a scooter cart and follows me. Today was just so much harder. He had to use the restroom and barely made it through checkout but he made it. I took groceries to the car and then picked…
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Start of incontinence
I knew the day would come. DH is now urinary incontinent for about a week now. I’ve been lucky it held off for as long as it did. He’s always been very resistant to my helping him in the bathroom with cleaning himself, etc, and it’s worse now. I don’t know how I’m going to get him to wear pull-ups when it’s hard to even…
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Home Dementia Specialist for Mind-Stimulating Work
Hello. I am finding more and more that my DH can not entertain/challenge himself when I'm not there to schedule things for him. Has anyone ever hired a specialist to come to the house to do work that stimulates the mind? Kind of like a tutor? My DH is in the early stages of Alzheimer's and I don't want to ask him to go to…
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Unprepared
With every decline, I feel so unprepared. I know what is coming, and yet each decline surprises me and breaks my heart. DH was accepted for hospice at home in September. I didn’t think he would qualify because he was still speaking and eating, not losing weight, able to swallow. But he was non-ambulatory. Yesterday he was…
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My DH passed away this morning...
After 8 long days of watching and waiting, my DH passed away this morning. I am so thankful that his suffering is over, but I can't imagine life without him. I was there when he passed, and it means a lot to me to know that he wasn't alone. I will pray for him and for all of you who are navigating this terrible disease.…
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Another Support Group Disappointment
I have now tried four face to face support groups in two different cities. All of them were failures. The facilitators let one or two people dominate the time; most of what was talked about was not relevant to our situation (stories about grandkids & travel etc.); no agenda to help share caregiver tips and actual…
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Is There An Organization That Rates Home Care Agencies
Hello. I am starting to consider my home care options. My husband was diagnosed with early stage Alzheimers last month. Like many people, I want to be able to keep him home for as long as possible but I also know that I will be needing help sometime in the future. I was at an Alzheimer's Support Group recently and another…
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Forward Planning
My wife is in her 8th year of diagnosis and lately has been slipping more and more. At some point, she will need more care than I can give, first in-home and then who knows? I will need to sell our house, which also involves getting rid of both valuable and kitschy possessions gathered over the last half century. How have…
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Affording help or MC
I have always thought I could never afford to pay out of pocket for in home help or even have memory care as an option. We are not wealthy but we have too much to qualify for Medicaid but not enough to pay out of pocket. It is extremely important to talk to an elder care attorney early on in the process. Many people…
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Counseling for Mom
Hello all, I am trying to find Counseling for my mom who is now caring for my dad who has Alz. They are both in assisted living because she would not send him without her. She is depressed and would like to see a Counselor. I am having a hard time finding a Counselor that specializes in Aging/Caregiver support that I may…
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Out of state “friends” hardly there and know everything
I am so exhausted as most here are. I need a moment to vent some frustrations. Why is it family and friends from out of state feel the need to input opinions after little to no contact except maybe a 15 minute phone conversation every 4-6 months. One has little to no knowledge of disease progression let alone what has…
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Incontinence
My dad has become completely incontinent as far as urinating. He soaks the bed he sleeps in with my mom and she is completely fed up...she and the assisted living staff have to change the bedding every day. He soaks all the blankets and now we need to replace the mattress (although we have a mattress protector on the…
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New Youtube Videos -Medications / Depression
I just watched a new youtube video "Ask Dr. Tam Questions with Tam Cummings PhD" from Jan 7 and she provides information for some of the "should I or shouldn't I" questions about continuing meds for dementia for anyone who is interested. It's a little over an hour. Linked below.…
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Another decision to make with surgery
My DH had knee replacement and is recovered. I am glad he had it done, but I do see a decline since surgery. He has less interests now. We did puzzling often and now he sits and watches me, or follows me around all day. Sits more. Three years after cataract surgery a growth started on the eyelid. Biopsy were negative. We…
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Showering
I’ve been trying to get my dh to take a shower for almost two weeks now. When asked if he wants a shower he’s usually agreeable, I wash his back and then he is able to wash himself, however, this past couple of weeks he has either refused to shower, or as soon as he’s ready to enter the shower he gets irritated and then…
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What would they do in a different country?
I always hear that healthcare is better in other countries, so I'm wondering what a better healthcare system would do in this situation. My husband was in the hospital for 4 weeks for ulcerative colitis and complications. His colon got better, so he was discharged home. He is malnourished (still won't eat well), has…
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I'm new here. My 66 year old wife has Alzheimer's. It's rough!
My wife was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's but it seems fairly advanced. She was prescribed Rexulti to curb her agitation and sundowning that seems to help but she still falls back into "Who are you. I'm not married to you. Why are you here." What a awful disease this is! It's really tough being a caregiver for my…
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Crashing
Oh hey all. It's me…crashing hard again. I wish I had the strength that so many of you show, but I'm just exhausted and so heartbroken. The holidays were rough…trying to get her medication mixture together to slow the constant motion and get her some sleep at night. I have the sleep part tamed for now, but it seems her…
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being prevented from communication
My DW of 45 years has ALZ and is living in an assisted care facility. The oldest daughter has POA. She and an unknown DR have implemented what they call a "NO CONTACT" plan where I am being prevented from any communication with my wife. They say this is for her "well being" and that it is permanent. She is taking 3 or 4…
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DH is now at peace
I lost my DH of 38 years today. I was visiting him at MC as I did every day, and he was a little more aware of me and walking a little better than he has been of late so we were having a good visit. Gave me a kiss, responded “I love you too” when I told him I loved him. The nurse saw him walking with me and stopped to tell…
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Resentful and guilty
Hi all, I'm a newbie here. I cared for my dad when he had dementia and "lucky" for me he was a sweet warm wonderful person who always knew his family right til the end (died from other than alzheimers). My husband now has dementia, and he is not sweet, warm or wonderful. He has never admitted to a problem, refuses to…