-
The Mental Switch
Hey all, Many of you have talked about how at a certain point, you made a mental switch from loving spouse to loving caregiver…or something along those lines. I'm curious about how you've done that. My DW is getting more paranoid and complains about how "I'm not taking care of her needs", which means sitting next to her…
-
Just need to talk to my friends (204)
Time to begin segment 2O4 of our thread. Thought this would be a good time before morning posts. GG, if you stew the prunes, they won't be shriveled. My day was good. I may take Stormy for a ride everyday. the enjoys it so much. I need to get a pair of safety glasses for him. He likes to ride with the window down. This is…
-
Should we proceed with testing
my husband has mci(22 score on Moca). We went to neurophysiologist and he ordered a in-depth test. My husband has severe sleep apnea that took almost a year to correct. He was having 36 episodes per night. The neuro wants the test because of that and his low score. my husband feels conflicted to get a diagnosis it just…
-
Emergency Petition for Treatment
I want to thank all the people in my life who calls and checks on me and my LO as we go through this dementia journey. It’s been a tough 3 months since his broken neck, rehab, home therapy, and then now in a geriatric psych stay. Applying for an emergency petition for treatment through the courts was the hardest decision I…
-
Paranoia
DH is 62 and still working. He is constantly telling me that nobody at work talks to him and that I am making life decisions without him. He also is saying our adult sons don’t talk to him and our grandson that lives with us is different. Our grandson has not changed his interactions with DH. Is this paranoia? Is this part…
-
robotic pets - again
There are older threads that discuss the positive effects of giving a LOWD a robotic pet, such as a Joy For All puppy. I'm curious to know how long that batteries last.
-
APHASIA
I need some help. My DH has aphasia and his speech is getting so bad I can hardly understand him, he chats away especially at night and i have little or no idea what he is saying. Communicating with anybody else is so very difficult, most people haven’t got the time or patience to stop and try to understand him. It’s…
-
Driving
My friend has an at home caregiver. She has not driven her car in four months. The aide or I take care of the driving. She had a dead battery which we fixed. Now she wants to drive it, just around the corner. I suggested I drive. She did not want that. She wants to drive with me..I do not want to be in the car with her.…
-
Been a long 6 years
My BH, age 65 now, is very close to the end of his journey. If someone has a “to do” list I would love feedback.
-
Do I know the answer?
Today my DH said he had a dream last night about Montreal. He said “ don’t you remember when we were there” … it was him and his ex wife. Does it mean he’s mixing us up now?
-
Hyperfocus on a Topic
My DW gets hyper focused on topics particularly when events, trips are forthcoming. She asks many times over a day/days regarding the calendar, who is coming, whats next etc. Writing it down, reviewing a calendar, white board or sticky notes isn't working as she knows to ask but can't retain the answer causing anxiety. Any…
-
Startle response
My wife is in early to mid stage 7. When I arrived to see her she was sleeping but awoke shortly. After a short moment, her whole body jumped like she was startled. This happened about eight times within a couple of minutes. Does anyone know if this means anything?
-
Service dog
My wife was diagnosed about 3 weeks ago with Mild Cognitive Impairment with Alzheimer's pathology. She's 64 years old and I'm 54. I don't remember who brought it up, but the idea of having a service dog was discussed. My wife has pretty much always had a dog. Right now we have a 13 year old American pit bull and a 2&1/2…
-
The Cavalry Is Not Coming: 9 Year Edition
This is an updated version of The Cavalry Is Not Coming. I repost this occasionally as I have been informed that this article has helped many caregivers. This edition is mostly the same, although I have brought it up to date and revised it to make it more helpful. October 1, 2024 marked nine years since my wife’s dementia…
-
Nights are the worst...
I'm sure I'm not alone with dreading the nighttime and my DH with VD's increased agitation. He does well during the day but when he goes to bed, he is asleep within 5 minutes but his sleep is so restless. He is up and down all night going to the restroom, pulling, fighting with and getting entangled in the sheets and…
-
visit with PCP
We had a regular visit with our PCP today. As is often the case, our loved ones are further along than we recognize or admit. I have my DW in early stage 6. The PCP evaluated both of us and said I should start looking into memory care facilities. The good ones have waiting lists and I am supposed to be prepared for the…
-
Toileting Issues
I need some ideas … my husband (with Alz) is urinating while standing up and is terrible aim! I am tired of cleaning pee from the toilet, the back of the toilet, the floor, etc. multiple times a day. Does anyone know of a product that would cover those areas?
-
Anyone With Resentment?
I'm going to post this before I chicken out. I have been married to my husband for 42 years. Now he has Alzheimer's/vascular dementia. Even in good times he could be difficult to live with, very controlling. Now I am bitterly resentful because I have to take care of him. Has anyone experienced this. I feel guilty and…
-
My DH is getting increasingly aggressive and hard to handle
My DH is very restless and agitated, and always wants something to do. The problem is, when I can't go out with him - ex. at 6:00 a.m. today he wanted to go for a bike ride - then he gets loud and aggressive and says he will go anyway. Today he started for the door and said he was going. He gets lost in our apartment…
-
I moved DW to memory care (part 2)
So, that's the background. All of our family and friends were supportive of placing DW in MC, even urging me to do so, reminding me that I had to take care of myself. The conundrum for me was, how was I going to get her in the door? How was I going to get her things to the MC facility? One suggestion was to say her doctor…
-
Home care hopefully will help ?
After struggling with the thought of bringing in help only because so far my DW has made it clear that no one but no one was going to come in and help . She has stuck to she just wants me and her . Well I can't keep watching her get weaker because of not eating hardly, and if course I have not been able to get her bathed.…
-
"Girlfriend" in Memory Care
DH has been in MC a little over 2 weeks, he just stopped packing up to go home every day, and seemed to be acclimating. Now, he is attached to a woman in MC! I know it happens often, and is supposedly innocent, but I have found them in his room. It is not so innocent. His wedding ring is missing, today, when I went to…
-
I moved DW to memory care (part 1)
This is my (very long) saga of moving DW to memory care, and how we reached that point. I hope you will find it interesting, if not useful. I used to participate in this forum until a few months ago. Then DW's condition made it impossible. She needed my attention, demanded my attention. I remember reading other people's…
-
Advice!!
I am new to the group and need advice. My Mom has late stages Alzheimer’s and has been able to be alone for part of the day while I work. This week every day she has been scared, anxious and leaves the house and then cannot figure out how to get back. I have a caregiver but she only comes from 12 to 1 as that is all I can…
-
Managing Incontinence
I’m new here. My DH was diagnosed about 2 years ago with FTD and possible ALZ. We are now dealing with incontinence. I am ok with pull-ups but he has a bad habit of missing the toilet and peeing on the bathroom marble floor. I try to get him to go to the bathroom on a schedule but he just won’t cooperate. I’m not sure he…
-
Won’t let me help clean him up
This is not a nice topic, but you all know how it is in this forum. 😉 DH is at the point where he isn’t cleaning his behind well after using the toilet. We both have always closed the door when we used the bathroom throughout our long marriage. So now when I knock on the door and ask if I can come in or if he needs any…
-
Anyone have a solution to avoid loosing wallet or money?
This is the third time this week hubby has misplaced money but this time he lost his wallet. He is still capable of going to store himself and I don't want to take that away from him yet. Any ideas on how to avoid this?
-
New/old member back again
Quite a few years ago I was a member of this forum to get support helping care for an elderly family member. Unfortunately I'm back again because my DH has now been diagnosed with Neurocognitive Disorder. His issues are caused by encephalopathy caused by an autoimmune disease he's had for decades and we have been told it…
-
Depakote or Haldol for agitation and combativeness?
I'm reaching out once again to this group of fellow travelers down this road none of us has chosen. My DH is 77 and in stage 6 of his dementia - in Memory Care since last July. He is still quite strong and has become very combative when showering is attempted. Just wondering if anyone has had experience with either or both…
-
I CANT DO IT!!!
I'm 39yo female caring for the kindest, all giving to anyone in need 45yo EOA bf. I hate this f**cing disease so bad. Tomorrow i have an assessment with the facility i plan to put my loved one in. The fast track to get him into MC is via hospice. We had that intake on friday. My anxiety is at a high right now and I'm…