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Welcome! New Forum for Caregivers
This is a new discussion forum for caregivers supporting a parent living with Alzheimer's or other dementia.
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Decision Time: To Live or Not to Live
My head has been pounding all day. My DM made me her all-in-all as it pertains to her end of life matters. Out of 2 children borne, only 1 remain. Me! A terminally ill retired RN. When mom was in her "right mind," she NEVER wanted surgical attempts be made to correct her Afib. With Vascular Dementia and Alzheimers now…
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Advice Needed After Moving My YOA Mom from AL to MC
I posted here a while back when my mom was first diagnosed with ALZ and I was trying to move her from FL to GA to be closer to me. She’s 65, I’m 30, and I’ve been her POA for about a year. She’s divorced, so this has all been pretty overwhelming at times. After a really tough few months, my sister and I were able to get…
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When to reconsider Memory Care?
I've written a few times before about my mother's difficulty adjusting to the memory care facility and a worry we placed her into one too early. In the past the recommendation was to wait longer for her to adjust. We're at the ten week point and I'm still struggling. On the positive side: my father was her primary…
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New here...
Only child caring for 90 YO Mom. Started with neuro last year, and he diagnosed dementia. Didn't really tell much info. She'd had several episodes of people spying on her, trying to break in, etc. We put up cameras, etc and that seemed to stop that kind of thing. That let us know there were things indicative of something…
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How to control non stop repetitive questions?
There is a non stop question about where to sleep by my mother who has Vascular Dementia and Alzheimer. She navigate all night without problem going in and out of her bedroom but during day, keep asking on and on, where to sleep. This can go hours and hours non stop. Any possible solution highly appreciated. Tried…
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For those of us who feel guilty from time to time
This video has really helped me:
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Mother is seeing insects at night
I am new here. My mother was diagnosed 5 years ago and does fairly well considering. She has recently started hallucinating seeing insects flying on her ceiling at night, and even when she first wakes up. She says they disappear when I come in or she starts getting up. I mentioned it to her neuro after the first event, but…
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Shoe Recommendations Shuffling
My father recently began shuffling more when he walks which is making him more of a fall risk. I recently bought him a new pair of Sketchers slip in sneakers but with the shuffling he keeps catching the front of his foot when he walks and it is tripping him up. His SNF just recently introduced a walker to him, which he is…
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From the NYT: The Pain of Caring for a Parent Who Abused You
Gifted link. C&P into your browser. https://www.nytimes.com/2026/06/15/magazine/elder-care-parent-abuse.html?unlocked_article_code=1.qVA.g6x3.dCf7rxwmWlbP&smid=url-share
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Wearing Depends
My 79 y/o brother has MS and Alzheimer's. He's experiencing urinary and bowel incontinence and refuses to wear Depends. He doesn't wear underwear because it slows down his ability to use the toilet. (He can barely stand and transfer from wheelchair to the commode, requiring a pole for support. Has anyone found a solution…
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Searching for Korean speaking caregivers in San Antonio
Are there PAS/Caregiver/Attendant in San Antonio who is fluent in Korean to assist my 82-year-old mother on an hourly basis at her home in San Antonio (78239). There are larger Korean communities in Dallas, Houston, and Austin that I am aware of, but moving there is not an option. My mother has progressive dementia and…
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New to the Discussion
Hello. My mother is in a memory care facility. She believes other residents are breaking into her room (picking her lock, or have a key) and stealing from her. This is not new. When she lived in her own apartment, she thought the maintenance man was coming in sabotaging things in her apartment. I set up a camera and saw…
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mom is getting agressive at the bank
Mom has had her $ taken away- but she can still view her accts. She goes to the bank several times a week to ask if her money is still there. The regional VP has gotten involved as they are both worried and alarmed at her behavior stating it is aggressive. Mom's dr looked into a 5150 but declined to do it (Cya I think!).…
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Worried About My Mom
The symptoms are certainly not new but especially over the past year they seem to be getting worse and worse. I'm getting to the point where I feel confident that I know what is happening to Mom and I don't really know what I can do. My mom and I have always had a really difficult relationship and I live across the country…
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Suggestions needed
If you have read my previous posts you know that my husband and I are caregivers for his father on the weekend and his sister is the caregiver the rest of the time. The last several weeks when we have gone to the store with him, when we get home he gets upset and thinks his wife (dead), daughter and or granddaughter has…
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venting
The general advice is to take care of yourself so you can take care of someone else. I can't even get to a #$%& dental appointment. Frustrating is not the word for it. Thanks for listening.
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Attitude shift with son
Good morning, My 89 y.o. mother-in-law has lived with us since March. She had a health event in December that seemed to trigger a sharp decline in her dementia and she lived with her daughter for a few months after that while we bought a house that could accommodate her. Some days she's argumentative, others she's…
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What can I expect for my Mom
Hello All, My Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a few years back and has been getting worse. She was just diagnosed with lung cancer and we are looking into treatments/options to take. So my dilemma is, what is quality of life in the up coming few years? Any thoughts on how long till she is unable to care for herself, or…
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How to convince a loved one to move into an assisted living facility
hello. I am a caregiver for my father. He currently lives alone. I live very close to him. His Alzheimer’s has progressed and I’m concerned about him living alone. I’ve had some things in place the last few years that have allowed him to remain home but his behaviors, especially late in the day, are concerning me. The…
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How did you know it was time for memory care from assisted living?
My mom moved into assisted living this past January. She has progressively declined since then but loves her new apartment and seems cheerful and happy when we visit and talk (which is multiple times a week between my sisters and myself). However, she has lost the cognitive skill to engage with the activities. She…
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Aricept Medication
My mom with Alzheimer's was prescribed Aricept 5mg. She was doing fine on that. She is progressing more as expected, so nuero upped it to 10 mg. She said to look out for side effects like stomach issues and dizziness. She hasn't had any of those. What I did notice was it seems she has progressed even more in a short time.…
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Alarmed!
This just happened! In referring to my husband, my mom said, "The man who ate dinner with us," was the one who gave her the 2 boxes of pictures. I said, "Who, my husband (——)?" She laughed and said, "Yes, I couldn't remember his name." Omg! I've been married for 35 years and have known my hubby for 38 years. HE is the one…
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Seeing my mom out smiling with my sister
I am so greatful my sister can come when she can!! She just sent myself and my dad a picture of the two of the smiling at quabbin Reservoir where my mom loves. I got so emotional seeing this picture and I am crying!! I feel guilty for not being there yet relieved my sister is and I am not at the same time. Help! How do I…
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Visual cues for Memory Loss
Has anyone had experience with their PWD recalling a lost memory with their own hand writing ? I was thinking of having my Dad write things down while he still has the ability to. Things like instructions of his requests. How he wants his money spent…his living situation…etc. My hope is if I incorporate using it now, and…
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Virginia Housing Help
Hi! I’m wondering if there’s any help to attain housing in VA for my mother. She lives in Puerto Rico but there’s no family to care for her there. I live in VA- but is unorthodox living. I need to get her near me in VA. I have been dealing with the federal courts for almost 8 years trying to clear my name from a vindictive…
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Searching for a baby?
My mom has started exhibiting a new symptom: she is unsure where a baby is and is desperate to find it. She even wanders outside to look in our tool shed! She cannot be consoled or redirected. My dad and I do what we can to intervene but we end up just going along with it until her delusion subsides. My question to this…
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Vision in left eye
We had noticed that my FIL was having issues with what seemed to be his vision, squinting, rubbing his left eye and then Saturday evening we were watching tv and my husband said he was sitting there with his left eye closed. He had a scheduled eye appointment at the VA yesterday and apparently he has Ischemic Optic…
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Advice needed to get Mom to agree to medicine management
Tomorrow we are meeting with the nurses at my Mom's AL facility to transition her medication management. Up until now my Mom has managed it herself but has been missing or mixing up doses from her pill box. She is very angry that this is taking place as "she can do it fine by herself". Any words of wisdom to get us over…
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Looking for programs to deal with violent dementia issue.
My mother and father live outside Texas, my mother is talking about moving here with my father who has moderate to severe dementia. He has become increasingly irritable and violent, striking my mother repeatedly in the head, the last event causing a concussion and lacerations. I frankly do not know what to do about this…
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In between stages
Hi. I am new to this site. Actually I don’t know why I never joined despite my being aware of its existence. My father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and quickly progressed in his disease. He was then diagnosed with Parkinson’s a passed December 24, 2021. This all transpired in about 4 years. After he passed my brother and…