-
Welcome! New Forum for Caregivers
This is a new discussion forum for caregivers supporting a parent living with Alzheimer's or other dementia.
-
I'm feeling a little disturbed
My parent called me upset that she had received notice that a family friend had just passed away unexpectedly. She had this whole elaborate story abut how she received notice via a phone call and was quite upset about this as this is someone she interacts with in the present. Her recollection was so vivid and her emotions…
-
Need Help w/ Cell Phone Options
My father has dementia and one area where my mom and I are struggling is with his using his cell phone. He likes to play solitaire on the phone but he doesn’t understand that the ads he receives aren’t real messages. He ends up filling out his information and is inundated with spam text messages and phone calls. I try to…
-
rough day w dad in MC "Get me out of here!"
Hi community, Dad was pretty agitated today during our visit. Redirecting was not working, so I had to cut my visit short. I'm wondering what I am missing or if you all have more ideas for me to consider. Here's some context plus what I'm seeing lately. He tells me that he just has to get out of there. Over and over. I…
-
Dealership sold car to father just before Alzheimer diagnosis
He lived a couple hours away when this occurred, we were still working towards an understanding on what was causing the repetition in conversation. At the same time he had been making his rounds around a few dealerships, picked out a blazer at one to purchase and showed up at a Hyundai dealer with that blazer flyer only…
-
both parents with dementia, cost of care very high
Both parents with ALZ, different presentations (ie agitated v. calm) and we have been getting by with paid caregiver 4 days a week and the rest done by myself, sibling occasionally helps out. Care needs are escalating and a tour of local senior livings has been cost-sobering. One place that had AL with solid cognitive…
-
My Mom Passed
Hello All Been a tough few days… my Mom passed away on Wednesday. Hospice gave me a call and said it would be a good idea to gather the family. My husband and I picked up by Aunt, and met my son there at my mom's bedside. We put a phone by her ear and my daughter was able to call and talk to my mom. We stayed for the…
-
Support Group Cookie Exchange? No!
Just need to vent about endlessly unreasonable expectations…with the “you need to take care of yourself” heading that list today. You need to (fill in the blank) sleep, meditate, journal, blog, do yoga, do cardio, take a break, take a walk, join a support group…while being sure to show up at work fully present, care for…
-
Mom was newly diagnosed
my mom was newly diagnosed , and she has lost the ability to keep track of the day , dates , appointment times. She will ask multiple times daily what time an appointment is , or what is the day /date even though it’s a week away , and even wake early in the morning & start to get ready saying I’m picking her up to go. She…
-
Advocating for my dad
My father's memory has been affected by untreated sleep apnea and cholesterol that has lead to moderate chronic ischemic changes along with a diagnoses of late stage Alzheimers. When he was first admitted to memory care, he was very upset that my stepmom wasn't visiting and she mislead him to say she was sick and he was…
-
Is sending a letter to mom with the truth a bad idea?
my second post here. I was light on details the first time. Mom has been in MC for about a year after being diagnosed with dementia. I was concerned about cognitive decline but ignoring it. She has had a lifelong distrust of the medical system so had not had regular medical checkups to monitor anything. There is also some…
-
The list
Mom moved to a nursing home about 4 months ago. She is doing very well. Her memory is not bad and she can carry on what feels like a very normal conversation. Her move to the nursing home was a disaster (my brother thought she should decide what to bring). She has mentioned several times that she has things she wants from…
-
Thankful
On this Thanksgiving Eve, I wanted to say thanks to everyone who contributes to this forum. I continue to learn much from each person who shares here. Just the act of sharing helps each of us feel less isolated on the caregiving journey! I appreciate all of you. Anyone want to share some caregiver-specific reasons to be…
-
My mom just said she is the most comfortable she has been in her life
I know this won’t last. She came home for a visit. We’re hanging out on the couch watching Yule log after a meal I cooked (poorly). She is on hospice, needs an aide 6 hours a day, and hardly says full words. But for just one moment…I asked if she was comfortable and she looked at me and said “believe it or not, I’m…
-
Makeup at night
just wanted to share very briefly… Got Mom all set up to do her nightly toothbrushing and night cream for her face thing, I normally let her do things on her own while I am definitely within earshot so she retains as much independence as possible. She had a shower earlier today, very unusual. But it’s because she had not…
-
Progression
So moms been in an Amazing ALF. She loves it. I love it it literally is the best blessing. That said recently last 6 months or so, when I pick her up on Sunday our weekly visit at my house ( I go there 2xs a week) she wants to leave, politely after an hour. Normally she spends the day we eat, watch football game, BS.…
-
Has Anyone Installed a Bidet to assist with hygiene and avoid a UTI?
I'm thinking of a bidet to help my mother with her hygiene. She had a series UTI in the summer and she ended up in the ER and my dad whose the main caregiver and is 88 years old was unable to manage. She's okay now. However, she has started getting more and more confused about "how and when to wipe" following urination and…
-
Father says hurtful things and still expects me to help
so my dad’s decline is progressing where he shows bizziare behavior at times and says really hurtful things especially regarding my own health. It makes me not want to full his pill planner with his meds or assist with day to day tasks. What are some tips to stay motivated although your loved one gets really mean?
-
Shower issues
I apologize if there is already a thread about this…. My mother is constantly refusing her showers, I understand the facility cannot make her shower but my concern is UTI/health issues, as she has a history with them. How long can they actually let her refuse to shower? My sister and I try to be available on her shower day…
-
Mom 89 has alz dementia is having anger and agression
Mom was diagnosed about a year ago and is now having anger and agression issues. She's taking medication for the moods but its not cutting it. She has good minute and bad minutes and back to good again. I was going to say good days but felt that wasnt correct. I believe she is still capable to shower and take care of her…
-
End Stage
Hi. Mom is 86 had Alzheimer’s for 8 or 9 years maybe more. She is definitely in late/end stage. She sleeps 90% of the time. Been non verbal for over a year at least. Getting frail. Is this possibly a sign that this is close to end? My sister lives the closest so I don’t get to see her a lot. And don’t get much feedback.…
-
Feeling sad and drained.
Hi everyone. I am new to this group, as I am finally trying to better myself by seeking some sort of help. I am 20 years old, and my mom has just been officially diagnosed with Alzheimers. I am the youngest of 4 siblings by 10+ years and I am still living at home and going to school. My dad is still working and my siblings…
-
Worn out and stressed out
Hello all. I’m currently dealing with an 87 year old father with dementia. He has fallen at home about 15 times this year, and ended up breaking his hip in July. I moved him into assisted living as I didn’t feel he was safe to be alone at home. He was a smoker and the last time I was there I watched him not pay attention…
-
Experiences with anti-amyloid therapies (Leqembi or Kisunla)
Hi, I'm new to the community. My mom was recently diagnosed with MCI, blood test positive for AD. It seems there may be some serious risks with the anti-amyloid therapies but do the benefits out weigh the risks? I wanted to see if anyone would share their experiences with anti-amyloid therapies (Leqembi or Kisunla).
-
New here and learning
Hi! My mom is 95 and mid stage dementia. I moved her in about 6 mos ago and I am the only sibling left. I was able to get her on hospice for her COPD (also has cancer but they are keeping her on hospice for the COPD) but she is not actively dying. In fact, her dementia is far more difficult than her illnesses. They come 5…
-
Missing my mom
My mom has dementia and she fell a couple of months ago fractured her pelvis and was in the nursing home for a couple of months for rehab. She did come home but we felt she needed more care than what I could give her. It’s just been me and my mom since my dad passed away in 2002. I’m so full of guilt for putting her in a…
-
Double Trouble - New to the group
I moved back to NE from Florida almost 3 years ago. I knew before I moved to Florida that my mom’s memory was getting increasingly worse. Once I moved back, I realized just how bad it had become in that short amount of time. We were able to get her to a neuropsychologist and have her tested. She has Alzheimer’s.…
-
I am so scared
I'm so scared of what this diagnosis means for me and my mom. I've worked with a number of Alz patients while working in emergency psychiatric departments or adult psychiatric departments. It was brutal. Devastating to their kids and devastating to see their moments of clarity, briefly realizing they are losing their…
-
Balance
My DH is 25 year older than I am. He is 94, I am 69. I've known this was coming for about 15 years. Early years were challenging, but COVID was the hammer that drove nails into the structure of our lives. I moved him into a MC about a year ago. I was dealing with other "stuff" at the (my brother was killed in an automobile…
-
I’m new
Im new to group chats and im new to my dad having dementia, im not new to dementia i did at home health care when I worked and i thought if my parents needed me to care for them i would b a pro but dementia is the worst disease. My dad is 65 and lived a very healthy life and that made him happy but I’m like my mom I just…
-
Dad confused in his apartment - looking for stairs that don't exist
I'm looking for suggestions / tips about how to address my dad's search for stairs to go to his other apartment. He is 92, in a wheelchair - probably Stage 5 Alzheimers. He lives in a Memory Care facility in a studio apartment. He keeps looking for the stairs from the basement or to the 2nd floor to get to his "other"…