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Welcome! New Forum for Caregivers
This is a new discussion forum for caregivers supporting a parent living with Alzheimer's or other dementia.
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POA financial decisions
I'm the POA/trustee for my parent. The legal documents say that all costs related to care of the person will be paid by the parent. I live out of state. Flying out there is a significant cost for me and flying out as a family is prohibitively expensive. My husband was laid off a few months ago and my job is at risk. Flying…
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Becoming a Caregiver
I've heard that individuals can be designated as a paid caregiver, or a care aid. Does anyone have experience with this process? I want to set-up my wife as a care aid, where she checks on my dad (early onset dementia) a few times a week to make sure he is getting his medications right, is eating well, has a clean house,…
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Re: Grandson Wants to Watch his grandmother
Hello, I have a question: My nephew (a police detective) his wife and children want to have lunch with their grandmother, and he seems to want me to leave. They say it's so I can take a break. They've never watched her alone before and have two young children, 3 and 8 years old. I've been my mother's caregiver for nearly…
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How to help LO adjust to MC
My parent is mid stage of dementia and was placed in a high quality memory care facility (supposedly the best chain in the country per US World News and Reports). This facility has programs for all levels of dementia including higher functioning people like my mom. She has been there for 6 months and she is just not…
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Exhausted By Mood Swings
Hello all. I’m new to the forum. My mom lives with me and was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia. Does anyone else deal with what seems like hourly mood swings? One minute she’s fine and knows who I am and the next she thinks I’m someone else and she’s just visiting. It changes so many times during…
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Moved Mom to Assisted Living
Hello, I am new here and just hoping for some suggestions and insight. My mom was diagnosed about 2 years ago. She recently fell and broke her hip. I have been trying to move her for over a year with no success. She is in complete denial and insists that she can take care of herself. She is 89 years old, doesn't drive, and…
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Should we visit every time my LO in MC calls and is scared?
I so appreciate this group the ability to ask this question. I am supporting my mom long distance who is supporting her sister (my aunt) who is in memory care for Alzheimer’s. My aunt never married and has no children of her own. My aunt calls my mom several times a day confused about where she is and sounding scared. My…
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Memory Care Facility for Mom
Thank to all who replied to my first post. Great ideas and insights. I do have another question as my family navigates through this . When and if my dad decides mom needs to be moved to a memory care facility , does anyone know if Medicare will cover any of this expenses of this? I am assuming not, but am just trying to…
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Still at home
Hello. I’m reaching out because I’m wondering if you can make a recommendation for me. I need to speak to someone that can help me in managing the situation with my mother’s Alzheimer’s. I mean managing it from a psychological Perspective to benefit her. And me. And my husband. As an example… My mother simply refuses to…
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Caregiver who is a nurse
Hi, This is my first post. My mom has dementia that has progressed to moderate. She is very stubborn and becomes belligerent if she does not get her way. She does not realize that she has memory issues and doesn’t understand why we are not allowing her to be alone. She is refusing to shower because she thinks she showers…
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I don’t know what to do!!
My mother will be 70 years old and my sister and I started seeing changes happening with my mom. We thought it was because my our brother passed away at age 38 and threw my mom in a depression. But it’s been four years and my mother‘s behavior is scaring us. She started hearing things seeing things tasting things smelling…
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Moving mom to a Memory Care sooner rather than later?
I had asked earlier about trying to make the right decision on when put to my mom intoa memory care facility. A lot of replies stated the sooner the better. Can someone elaborate on that? Why is sooner better? Thank you
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My family needs suggestions
My 83 Yr mother was diagnosed about 4 years ago. She was slowly progressing . My dad who is 88 takes care of her and they still live my childhood home . Dad recently said he needed help with mom. We found a caregiver to come 3 times a week and helps with laundry , cooking and bathing for mom . We thought all was going…
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New stage?
Mom states she had been having urinary urgency for the past 2 weeks. She denies any known symptoms of an UTI. She has an upcoming appointment with a urologist nonetheless. Last week, she was mortified when she did not make it to the toilet in time, ending up having her bladder totally emptying itself on the floor of her IL…
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Thank You! And looking for ideas...
My siblings and I are caring for our mother. She has had Alzheimer's for a few years, but although I am learning so much in this forum (Thanks to all of you!!), I don't know what stage she is in. Recently our Dad has been hospitalized following a severe stroke and we see lots of rapid changes in our mom. We have home help…
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Alzheimer’s and stomach issues
Hello all, My mother continues to battle constipation, nausea, and gas on and off. Her appetite has definitely decreased, although she was never a big eater to begin with. We continue to encourage fluids and she eats mostly high fiber foods, but she is still having these issues more than not. I also give her Metamucil…
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Trusting the "Experts"
This is my first time posting on this website. I am almost 60 years old and my 90 year old mother was recently diagnosed with dementia. She and my father live in an RCAC 2 hours away from where my sister and I live. In the past few months my mom's memory has declined and has required more care. She and my dad have been…
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Caregiving for the Caregiver
My MIL has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. It has been slow in its progression (15 years since initial diagnosis). My DH’s step-father is the primary caregiver and has done a fantastic job. However, my MIL is now firmly in Stage 4. We want to support DH’s step-father as best we can…but we don’t want to be pushy or make…
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How to support mom?
We moved my dad to memory care this week after a stroke one month ago. My sister and I are physically, mentally, and emotionally drained, but also want to be able support my mom (82 yrs) with this life altering event. I call and she’s sobbing but won’t talk to me and just tells me she has to go. As exhausted as we are, I…
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Lost Caring For Mom
My mom was diagnosed with dementia about 3 years ago. She lives with us and I would say she is in the late stages. She has been on an antibiotic for one week and staring another round this week for a UTI. But, recently she has started mumbling, shuffling her feet, very unbalanced and sometimes emotional and sometimes…
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Volunteer to visit dad in memory care
We recently moved my 89 year-old father from Assisted Living into Memory Care. My mother recently passed and they had been living together. My dad has no short term memory but is social and can carry on a decent conversation, especially around sports, science or politics. We'd like to have someone, preferably a man, to…
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New Diagnosis
Hi Everyone, Yesterday we received a moderate ALZ diagnosis for my father. The diagnosis was a long time coming. He had received an ALZ diagnosis before the pandemic, but then he had some significant movement problems that led to a change to a movement disorder. However, then the movement disorder did not progress as…
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Moving Mom to Memory Care - Questions
Moving day is set for Wednesday. Mom's memory care room is pretty similar to her bedroom in her AL apartment, and the furniture could be arranged in a similar configuration. The "story" we are using to get her into MC is that she is going to stay in "PT rehab" for a few weeks. She adores her AL apartment with "all her…
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Overwhelmed caring for wife with FTD
My 75 year old wife was recently diagnosed with FTD. I am 77 myself and in compromised physical health due to my Vietnam war injuries. We sold our home and moved into a retirement facility which made life less complicated. But the issues I face caring for my wife are almost more than I can manage. I do not dare leave her…
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Recommendations for GPS device?
Hello, I am new here. My father is in the late stages of dementia but still living at home with my mother until we can find an adequate assisted living facility for him. He has started to leave the house and wander so I am growing very concerned for his safety. We have alarms on the doors and cameras on the house but my…
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Confusion and Meds
My mom is in early stages of dementia. She wakes up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night and then wants to take her morning pills. Bathroom is a trigger to wake up and start her day no matter the time. Any suggestions?
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DPOA & Health Care Proxy
I have durable power of attorney for my mother, (who did this all 15 years ago). I also am her health care proxy. How does this all work? If the time comes that she should be in a memory care unit, but she does not want to. Does a doctor have to "activate" either of those in order to have her go into a memory care unit? I…
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Passed away
Just letting you all know that my mother, with Alzheimer's, passed away 5/7/25 And dad with vascular dementia, just passed away 8/4/25 Now dealing with family members fighting over the will. Lots of financial and legal responsibilities for the executors and beneficiaries.
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Time to move Mom
I am new here. My sister and I have been dealing with my mom's Alzheimer's for about 2 years now. We have tried to get both parents to move to assisted living with zero success. They are both incredibly stubborn. To make an all too familiar long story short, it is time for mom to go into Memory Care. Any advice to making…
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Cared For Grandparents and Now Mother
Hello! I helped my mom care for her parents as they suffered with dementia and Alzheimer's for several years before they passed. It was physically, mentally and emotionally difficult on both of us and traumatizing for my mom especially. Now, 4ish years since her dad passed, my 60 y/o mom is showing her own signs. She's…