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Cleaning out mom's room
So tomorrow will be two weeks since my mom's death. Her MC director, while very kind with condolences, is pushing gently for me to get her room cleaned out so that they can paint and prepare it for a new resident. When I pointed out that mom was paid up for this month (and I was out of town for the first week after her…
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Guilt - since passing
Hello - I've spent a lot of time on this site for years once both my parents were going down this path of dementia. So much help and information on the board "caring for a parent" My mom passed in November of 2025 and my Dad in March of 2026. They weren't the parents I knew. My Dad's journey was different than my moms. I…
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Haven't we all?
Aa my husband transitioned to stage 7, I decided to visit this discussion, as I expect to lose him soon. Then I realized, I lost him years ago. My helpful, funny, kind husband disappeared years ago. Loving someone with dementia means losing them, slowly.
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I lost my mother thirty years ago ...
Right away I found that sharing my story online helped me begin to heal. I started a website in her memory that is still around, although it is in need of updating, and I'm trying to work on that as I have time. It's still here: https://www.zarcrom.com/users/yeartorem/ Also, I will be walking this fall for my 29th year in…
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A Little Humor (I hope)
I thought I'd share something I shared with a grief support group in hopes you might get at least a smile from it today. All any of us can do to find a smile a day is helpful, kinda like a vitamin a day:) In a recent post I expressed my frustration with knowing how to navigate this life after and feeling confused and…
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On The Outside Looking In
Family gatherings. Supposed to be a time of love, fellowship, sharing, talking, laughing, etc. What happens when you have lost your DW of many years, months have passed since that day and you attend a celebratory family gathering? I have anxiety beforehand trying to anticipate comments, greetings, the possible impact of…
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Grieving Together
I have seen and read many sources which describe how families as groups, large or small or even as individuals, get together to talk about the loved one lost. Some do it with everyone sharing stories, some funny, some not. Just wondering if anyone has used a technique similar to help grieve and find a way forward. Again, I…
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Missing Joe
Good evening all, I just want to put some timeline out there. I know my situation is unlike those of many who have been married all their adult lives. Joe and I were married about 9.5 years, and together 13. He was in memory care for about a third of our marriage. They put Joe on hospice at the end of February. His dad…
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Lost my DH 3 months ago
My DH passed away 2 days before Christmas. I wasn't there when he passed. I visited him the day before. He was sleeping, I talked to him, played Elvis and held his hand. He held my hand so tight it hurt but I didn't let go. He was very peaceful. He had been on Hospice about 6 months for failure to thrive. His hospice nurse…
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Where Are They Now?
Do you feel that your loved one is still present for you in some way? Are you surprised at times by a sound, a smell, a touch that feels as if from your loved one? Can you feel them near you somewhere in some way? Do you talk to them (I do) and feel you get some form of a response? Do you find being at their grave peaceful…
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Grief Differences Among Family
I wanted to reach out to others here for feedback. I struggle trying to help family understand why their grief for the loss of their mother or grandmother looks so much different than the overwhelming grief they see in me. I know each and every one misses her terribly, so it is definitely not because they cared less or…
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Need to say no
I asked this in another discussion but came here due to the recent loss of my husband just a month ago. I am frozen right now with grief and am not ready to socialize. A cousin asked me to lunch tomorrow (we are not that close), as he is passing thru my area, and I said yes, but now I really don't want to go. And my…
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Three Month Ramblings
Tomorrow will mark month 3 since my DW's passing. I've spent those three months traveling and riding on the rush of gratitude I've felt about having ever met her and my relief at not watching my DW suffer every minute of the day. I'm glad to have those feelings still. But, I've also realized that with each bit of business…
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Love Hurts
In the months since the loss of my DW I find many times when I am sad and feel pain in my body or a catch in my breathing. I see my docs regularly and am confident there are no hiding mysterious medical cause. However, when the discomfort occurs it is a real pain that I feel or at times my breathing changes to gasps for a…
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Life After
Going on nine months now since the loss of my DW last August, 2025. It is a life I never wanted, feared ever having to live and hate every minute of every day without her. I knew that this disease scares many people and leaves them uncomfortable in the presence of one in the latter stages especially. I saw it with others.…
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A Different Perspective Today
Almost nine months since I lost my DW to this nightmare disease. Deep in grief now and hard to see a way out of it. Day to day, it is all I can do for now. And then, as I was reflecting on my situation and that of so many others on this forum, a new view of my situation emerged. I hate being where I am without my DW. But,…
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Crisis of Faith
My DH died on January 7, and I am finding it so hard to believe in "God's will" and all of the other platitudes I am hearing. It is almost impossible for me to attend church, because I am so angry at God. While I am sitting there, hearing all about the goodness and love, I just want to ask - why us? why him? Why didn't we…
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Firsts
Six months into my grief for the loss of my dear wife and rolling into the new year the changes seem forever and overwhelming. As soon as you think you have completed all the distasteful changes required, another pops up. In trying to encourage friends and family, who are not impacted as directly by a loss, to build…
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Fears in Stage 8
I'm dealing with something i haven't seen addressed here and just wonder if anyone else has experienced the kind of fears I'm feeling? I have irrational fears for my health, for my safety and for my financial stability. I'm imagining the worst when I feel a new pain or lump… I triple check to be sure appliances are turned…
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My Goodness
I’m on an early morning flight back from New York City. I really can’t even express completely how incredible the trip has been. Honestly. It felt like a series of religious experiences. I came to go to the opera at the Met. At first I thought, “what in the world was I thinking going to ‘La Traviata’ just 2 months after…
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Two Months
I posted this on the regular caregiver thread by accident. I'm so used to going to that particular part of this board. Anyway. Here it is. I just needed to get it out. Two months ago on this day, my DW passed away peacefully at home. I am sitting on a plane, flying to New York City to see an opera with a friend. A respite…
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GRIEF
Often I write to help myself cope with my grief. A friend shared his feelings regarding the word "gone". He states that it is a word he dislikes and refuses to use in any way, especially to describe our loved one, as in "sorry he/she is gone". I agree with his feelings and hearing it stated openly triggered some thoughts I…
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Lost my mother January 27, 2026
I was my mothers full- time caregiver for her last 10 years of her life with Alzheimer’s Having difficulties dealing with the grieving process and nobody seems to understand Thank you
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Weird tears
My grief is showing up in odd ways. I didn't cry at my mother's visitation. I didn't cry at holiday gatherings. I didn't cry at my own daughter's wedding, even though I know my mother would have loved to be there. I cry, sometimes hysterically, only for the weirdest reasons. I accidentally knocked over a plant she used to…
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Any support groups zoom for individuals
who have lost their spouse from Alzheimer’s, it’s been 3 1/2 months for me. Have found it difficult to locate support groups specially for those who have lost their spouses. Thanks.
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Regrets
As care givers for our loved one, our path was long, the struggle to provide care hard and overwhelming, but we did it as best we could. But now, as the dust of my loss begins to settle a little, my reflections and memories of our last few years flood over me. At times it just brings me to me knees, the tears flow…
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My DH just passed
My DH just passed this morning. Although I have been crying and miss him deeply, I knew it was coming and am so grateful that he doesn’t have to suffer any longer. The dementia had taken so much from him and he was just entering stage 7. Along with the dementia, he began to suffer many physical ailments with heart and…
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Need prayers.
I learned today my cancer has returned. 😢. I was diagnosed in Dec 2023 and had to place my husband in memory care so I could get treatment. had chemo and then surgery in April 2024. I’ve been cancer free for 20 months. My husband passed in August 2024. I will now have more chemo and more surgery. I’m thankful my DH never…
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Where Do You Find Peace
I am six months in after losing my dear wife and after a brief period of foolishly thinking I was moving ahead, the overwhelming grief came back with a vengeance. Try as I might, finding any traction forward seems impossible. With so much time to think, I came to realize that beyond the grief, the sadness, the tears, the…
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Can someone repair this site?
I have been logging into discussions for "those who have lost someone" for weeks now. Yesterday, I found that other conversations were also coming up on that section. Today, the same. Can one of the moderators fix this so we don't have to wade through a long list of conversations to find the topic we are looking for?…