I’m new here

l-taymo

I am caring for my Mom with dementia… and I am frustrated, stressed, crying all of the time because we can’t communicate without an argument. Then she wants to know why I’m being “mean” to her. I try to tell her I’m not being mean, I’m frustrated that she doesn’t understand what I’m saying and I don’t know how to reason with her…then I find myself going to my room to get away from her for peace and to calm down. And there’s so many other things. Her PCP referred her to a neurologist but the earliest appointment available for her is early next year…Any help is appreciated

lac67

Hi! This isn’t much help, but I’m having a very similar experience, though my mom has been diagnosed for several years. Frustration, being accused of being “mean,” looking after her all day and then being the scapegoat for everything she gets upset about.

Can you look into finding another neurologist with earlier availability? The Alzheimer’s Association where I live in NJ had a list of doctors who could do evaluations when I was looking.

I’m not sure a diagnosis will change the situation you’re in much, but having information is better than not having it. 🫶🏻

april janelle

Hi, I’m new to this forum so hopefully I’m doing this right. I understand your frustration, my mom is in middle stage of dementia and has been living with me for four months. Every day is an emotional roller coaster. Some days she barely speaks 10 words, the next day all her comments are just mean and rude. I don’t have any advice, as I am at a loss most of the time. I pray I’m able to keep my sanity through this progression.

Liz3

I am experiencing the very thing with my mom 👵😌

amynolla

Oh my goodness, I feel exactly like you do! If I’m not excessively cheerful she thinks I’m mad at her. I’m always ‘mean’. I have watched so many videos and read so many things and am trying different techniques but her mood changes so often and her short term memory is so bad that I feel like I’m drowning half the time. Today I had a big cry about it. I don’t have any answers but you are not alone!

ashepherd

Hi everyone, I am new here also. I am in Brisbane, Australia and just trying to navigate life as a carer for my mum (she is 71) and has alzheimers (stage 3-4). I am 52, her only child and my husband and i have 3 teenagers and I run my own business - they call us the sandwich generation, and I totally get why. My sandwich filling is overflowing... It's nice to meet you all and feel less alone.

catmarch

I am new here also. My Dad was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's about a month ago, but he's been showing signs for years. He lives with me and my teenage children. He is aware of his "short term memory loss" but doesn't understand that he has Alzheimer's. He is 83, in great shape and still drives. It's just the everyday things that are hard. Every day is different. The big thing lately is he doesn't remember to shower or change his clothes. Especially his underwear. It's so hard navigating how to approach the subject of him not changing his clothes and things like that. I feel I get frustrated that he doesn't realize what he forgets or how many times he asks me questions. Or when he gets upset at me for reminding him to do something or that I don't allow him to handle finances anymore. It's so hard and I know it's going to get worse.

I'm really glad I found this group

KellieG

I have been caring for my mom for 9years in July of this year. We are now in the late stages of this horrible disease… I feel extremely overwhelmed lately. It’s just me and her home mostly me helps out with food and giving her some meds and what not but she doesn’t like to shower at all will not The undergarments depends constantly has P incontinent pooping and then refuses to let me change her. That has been one of my worst encounters disease though today was a great day I was able to cut her nails, toenails lotion, her body change socks, and so it was a fights me daily to make sure she’s clean the repetitive conversation Are starting to get to me as well. Have a brother who is little he never comes over and cause I was lives in New York from New Jersey New Jersey. She used to take my mom twice a year to give me a break in the summertime Christmas but my mom is not being able to travel for over a year so I’ve had no break at all. We are now medicating my mom because she gets extremely agitated very easily but sometimes it takes two hours three hours to kick in. Meanwhile, she gets up and paces up and down the hallway constantly calling my dad‘s name all day long my dad was killed in a car accident 28 years ago. I on. I’m going on in dragging but just a little brief summary. I had a panic attack on my way to my other job last week it incapacitated me in my car. I couldn’t breath speak hands and legs went numb. I had to have my husband come get me that was scary. Very scary.

In process of getting respite care before I become ill and am unable to function.

My mom did appoint me to make all financial and medical decisions 9 yrs ago. Which does make it easier. On top of the Alzheimer’s she had cancer on her scalp that started out the sizeof a fingernail and now the size of my fist. She refused to go anywhere and would not allow me or anyone to take her to doctors to get care for it, which is very hard to look at her with this open sore dried bloody brain looking thing in her head, so hard,

I know I have taken great care of my Mom, but when I look at her head it breaks my heart that she refuses care.

I now have hospice care which is helping a great bit. If there is anything I can say is PLEASE set up some kind of assistance whether it be one day a week or few hours a day … for you to get relief because it WILL take a toll on you and everything u do.

Hire / ask someone to come to clean your home - bug help.