I care for my mom

Heritageposey1

My mom will be 88 in July and has dementia. She's my step mom and no one of my siblings have offered to step up. I gave up my house and family and friends to move and take care of her 24/7. I do everything for her, cook, clean, shop, laundry. The only thing I don't do is change her and bathe her. I have someone that does that. I'm 70, a diabetic, heart condition and cancer survivor. All day long she sits and say Please somebody help me. I'll ask what do you need, her answer is always I don't know. Is this normal? I've been taking care of her for 2 years. I always thought my retirement years would be for traveling and doing things I've always wanted to do. But it's like having a new child. I just need to rant and get things off my chest. I'm in north east TX. I was looking for groups to go to talk. Not luck. How do others cope with this?

elhijo

Hello Hertiageposey1,

You are a very brave soul. I am not sure if there are ALZ supports groups in NE Texas, but if you call the ALZ association, they may be able to connect you to a virtual support group in Texas. They seem to becoming more popular, especially after the pandemic. I think the 'Please somebody help me' could mean that she's constantly afraid of being alone. Like for an experiment try sitting with her on the couch and just holding her hand, make sure she's comfortable, the feet are propped up just right, the elbows are propped up with pillows (the physical therapist told me posture is super important). And that she's not cold. Try spending an afternoon with her watching movies and make sure you, yourself are also comfortable, not cold, etc. See if that 'Please somebody help me' messaging goes away. It's so hard b/c they can't verbalize just what they're thinking or even feeling so you have to read into what lines such as 'Please someone help me' means.

Very best of luck to you in Texas