Mom coming home an emotional rollercoaster

Annettes

hi all i am new here, just needed to vent. my mom has been in a facility over a year now, her health is declining more and more. i just found out on top of Alzheimer's/Demetia she has only 49 percent of kidney function. I am working on bringing her home, she should be here within 2 weeks. since finding out about kidneys, i am caught between what my heart says to do, (bring her home) and thoughts of leaving her there. I don't live in a handicap assessable home. although i have a large 3 bedroom, and its just my hubby and puppy and i, I will need to purchase a ramp, to place on steps if a situation should arrive. i am so worried the home attendant, won't be able to manage while we are at work. I'm so stressed and cry all the time. my mom is not a thin woman, and i pray we can move quick enough, where id there is an emergency, we can get her out or help in time. i am her only surviving child, she has tons of family but no one helps, and everyone lives 3 hrs away. i brought her up from nyc to be closer, so right now she is 5 minutes from me. but seeing her in this permanent facility, where she just lays there all day, breaks my heart, i feel like she won't be around much longer, and for that i rather her last days be with me.