Communication

Lesliemann

My dad is very hard to understand when he is confused and is unable to get words out that make sense , especially if he is experiencing anxiety or delerium. I have no idea what he is saying or accusing us of in these moments. It makes things worse because I don't understand his root concern. I want to help him deescalate and address his concern or the feelings behind it. I feel helpless. I literally went know the words to say we l to him without making him more argumentative. It's heart breaking. Any advice would be appreciated.

elhijo

Dad could have a UTI. It happens more with women but it can happen with men. When my mom had it she would be exactly as you described. The behavior can sort of also happen if he's not eating. Not eating well or not eating at all just after a few days will alter your mood and make you very irritable. Look at the homeless and how irritable they sometimes behave, it's b/c they haven't been eating right or even eating at all. See if in your area there is a doctor who is makes housecalls and is willing to come every week to check on him and maybe do some lab work if dad will let him. Try to get a male doctor that is older as he'll be able to relate better to another man and elderly patients seem to do well with elderly doctors. But he may also do well with a young pretty nurse as he may think it's his grandaughter. Some businesses do offer home visits but they send you an APRN which is not a doctor but is a nurse under the control of one. Your mileage may vary with these services but it sounds like dad needs regular medical visits to get him ok. When you shop around, make sure you ask them if they've ever treated patients with Alzheimer's. If they haven't then call around for one that has.

Best of luck to you.