Husband with Alzh

Gjolucy

Although they say my husband‘s Alzheimer’s is late stage you still capable of dressing, himself appropriately handling, showering, and bathroom needs and eating by himself. He walked our dog 20 minutes a day in the neighborhood and the rest of the time he is usually sleeping. He has no interest in doing anything other than that or possibly watching TV for an hour then back to bed. He’s a good eater and I fix his meals. He doesn’t see a need for anyone to sit with him. He believes he is not in any danger and when I’m with him all day, the same pattern that he uses each day is exactly what I just described. My guilt is people continue to tell me I can’t leave him alone and yet he has never shown any sign of using appliances walking in and out of the house, using tools, etc. I have had a couple of caregivers to come in and I have watched them through a camera. I have set up. He doesn’t engage because his cognitive abilities are very limited. They don’t engage with him so the whole thing seems like a waste of everyone’s time. Should I feel guilty not having somebody here every time I go out? I have to go to the store or run errands he wants to come with me. It’s his only time he ever gets out so I don’t need someone to do all of that for me if I wanna go to the gym or have my own friends meet with me for lunch, etc. I go and because he’s got a tracker on him as well as an upstairs and downstairs camera. I know exactly where he is and what’s going on.. Am I being too carefree?

El1942

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/74598/husband-with-alzh

You describe my husband’s behavior perfectly! I do not think my husband is in late stage yet but I have the guilt if I run to the gym for 45 minutes. It’s been since before Covid that I have been shopping in a store for either of us. He loves his home and often sleeps from 11 pm until 3 pm or later the next day unless I wake him for an appointment. He often balks at getting up for those. He cannot perform any IADLs except for one. He loves peanut butter toast and can make toast and peanut butter. He will not put it on a plate unless I remind him, however.

Anyway, I have purchased cameras for inside the home so that I can go to the gym or run to the store or A 45 minute appointment that’s close. I can see on my phone “real time” if he’s out of bed, in The LR “reading” or sitting on our screened porch or making toast in the kitchen. I leave a note, what time I’ll be home, his phone with instructions to pick it up and say “Hey Siri, call me”. He is still mobile and navigatigating our 2 story home well. He does not mind me leaving on these errands but it is still hard not to feel stressed when I do. I do not want to pay someone $35 an hour to sit and do nothing and my husband doesn’t want anyone in the house. It’s work g well but still stressful for me.