Looking for Possibly Early-Stage Intervention Guidance

WiPilot

Hello,

I have both parents who are showing some signs of memory loss and confusion.

My mother has always had issues with remembering nouns and now she has trouble remembering the slightest things. She will continue to ask anyone around her to help her remember that thing that she forgot even though they can't help her. She gets stuck on words quite often and it's hard sometimes to move the conversation forward. I noticed that when I needed her to help me create signs for a thrift sale, she was not able to remember how to spell some words that she was able to spell decades earlier (she was an elementary school teacher). She had also needed a hip replacement recently and I wasn't sure if the memory issues were related to not being able to go out and exercise. Now that she has been recovering from the hip replacement, it has been a little better, but I noticed that it is still a bit hard for her to remember things. I also noticed that she has a hard time remembering anything negative, like a negative memory or a negative thing that might have happened. Even if it was something as simple as, "you forgot to pick me up last week for that appointment", she would say, "Oh, I don't remember that". She even told me a time when she entered a store and went up to the clerk asking where an item is only to be told that she was in a totally different store. I also noticed that she does like drinking more now that she is in her 70s, so I realized that that could contribute to this. I noticed this happens when she is remembering someone's anniversary of their death that she was close to and she might get depressed or sad. I did ask her about if she noticed memory issues and she said that she of course did. She said that it was totally normal and her friends have the same recollections and stumblings that she does. Her brother was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's which she was very happy that he went to doctor about it. When I asked her if she would go, she said there's nothing wrong with her. I am struggling to get past the stubbornness of the situation without causing issues or having her get very upset with me. It would be nice to know if there was something wrong more than normal aging but I'm not sure how to get her to go to the doctor. She will go to the doctor for everything else, but this. I would love some recommendations on what has worked well for anybody.

My dad, on the other hand, has not gone to a doctor in over 15 years. He has watched his mother fade away while going through cancer and his father go through heart failure, so I think it's safe to say that he doesn't want to do anything with doctors. He has had an unusual mole on his arm that he will not get removed and it has grown and gotten bigger. Many people ask him to go to the doctor and he says yes he will but he not he never does. I anticipate that maybe some of the memory issues I'm seeing might be due to potential cancer that he has not explored . I've noticed some memory issues for him, such as showing up at my house thinking that he can come over when I am actually working during the day. He's also not able to follow complex thoughts and when I ask him questions, they can be pretty convoluted answers. It is very hard for him to follow my words or he might do the exact opposite of what I say, such as if I am driving and I ask him to be silent for a couple minutes while I get my bearings on directions, he will start talking more. He has a hard time understanding other people as well and I hear him asking questions about something he just heard and has been explained to him. I recognize that my dad will not go to the doctor and I cannot force him to do so, but his behavior and disorganization of thoughts is concerning to me, so I'm wondering if anyone has suggestions for him as well.

I realize I am in a bit of a tough spot here, but I would really appreciate any support that anyone can provide. I want my parents to have the best life that they possibly can have period to do that, it sounds like I might need to intervene or get a little creative. Your thoughts are appreciated! :)