Caring for a parent

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l-taymo
l-taymo Member Posts: 1
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I am caring for my Mom with dementia… and I am frustrated, stressed, crying all of the time because we can’t communicate without an argument. Then she wants to know why I’m being “mean” to her. I try to tell her I’m not being mean, I’m frustrated that she doesn’t understand what I’m saying and I don’t know how to reason with her…then I find myself going to my room to get away from her for peace and to calm down. And there’s so many other things. Her PCP referred her to a neurologist but the earliest appointment available for her is early next year…Any help is appreciated

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  • lac67
    lac67 Member Posts: 2
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Member
    Hi! This isn’t much help, but I’m having a very similar experience, though my mom has been diagnosed for several years. Frustration, being accused of being “mean,” looking after her all day and then being the scapegoat for everything she gets upset about.

    Can you look into finding another neurologist with earlier availability? The Alzheimer’s Association where I live in NJ had a list of doctors who could do evaluations when I was looking.

    I’m not sure a diagnosis will change the situation you’re in much, but having information is better than not having it. 🫶🏻
  • april janelle
    april janelle Member Posts: 1
    First Comment
    Member

    Hi, I’m new to this forum so hopefully I’m doing this right. I understand your frustration, my mom is in middle stage of dementia and has been living with me for four months. Every day is an emotional roller coaster. Some days she barely speaks 10 words, the next day all her comments are just mean and rude. I don’t have any advice, as I am at a loss most of the time. I pray I’m able to keep my sanity through this progression.

  • Liz3
    Liz3 Member Posts: 2
    Second Anniversary First Comment
    Member

    I am experiencing the very thing with my mom 👵😌

  • amynolla
    amynolla Member Posts: 3
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Member

    Oh my goodness, I feel exactly like you do! If I’m not excessively cheerful she thinks I’m mad at her. I’m always ‘mean’. I have watched so many videos and read so many things and am trying different techniques but her mood changes so often and her short term memory is so bad that I feel like I’m drowning half the time. Today I had a big cry about it. I don’t have any answers but you are not alone!

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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