Hello Roxy2690,

My condolences for your loss. Life is super hard sometimes.

If it were me I would take mom to a geriatric psychiatrist and see what he recommends. Not a neurologist, in your case, but a geriatric psychiatrist. A geriatric psychiatrist would understand the pain of what the elderly face when they loose someone so he might provide some valuable insight into how to deal with mom. You could lie and say it's for you that you need it an need someone to be by her side. These types of doctors see these patients and seem to be ok with fibbing a bit to get the ball rolling. If your mom has not been declared incompetent by the state, she has a right to refuse treatment so she may get wind of what your doing and flat out leave the session or never go back - but at least you tried. Or, she may not and let herself be helped. I think the generic psych would have insight into such a delicate situation and I would call to make an appointment as soon as you're able to. Not a regular psychiatrist but a geriatric psychiatrist. They're out there, you just have to Google them.

And, try to understand mom. See I think that somewhere in the back of their minds, persons with Alzheimer's sense there is something wrong with them and they're not exactly sure what it is. Think of being sick with a disease no know really knows what it is -and you have it. That would jar anyone. And on top of that, she lost her life-long companion to boot -so he won't be there to get her through it. It's enough to make anyone cry a lot if you ask me. As far as the anger, there is anger there and human beings seem to take out the anger they have on those around them -that would be the caretaker. The geriatric psych will most likely recommend drugs and if you don't want to go that route, there are teas that can have a calming effect. Tumeric teas can help but ask the geriatric psych if those would be ok with mom and see how she responds to them.

You won't get everything right during this difficult time and that's ok. Give yourself permission to mess up, you're human too and so is the rest of your family.

You'll be in my prayers.

Kind regards,

elhijo