Memory Care

Hi all, I'm new here. I have a much older sister in her mid-70s (one who I hardly knew growing up) who lives in another county, about an hour away—still in her own apartment. The only other family member is our brother, closer in age to her, who lives a bit closer to her, but is rarely involved. As I agreed years ago to be…

It is a long story but I ended up sleeping overnight in a memory care unit with my DH Sunday night. He is in a special locked ward for people who need care and supervision. He is in late stage 7 of mixed dementia. The experience was traumatic for me. I stayed because the boiler malfunctioned and when I arrived on Sunday…

My father is bed-bound with late-stage Alzheimer’s in MC. He needs complete assistance with diaper changes, repositioning, eating and drinking. He sometimes resists care and screams and scratches during diaper changes, especially when being moved, so changing him really requires two people. My concern is that he sometimes…

We moved my dad (89) to memory care two weeks ago. They have been the most challenging two weeks of my life. He had memory issues in the past, but something happened earlier this summer that brought on much stronger symptoms (he has vascular dementia). He was living with a family member, but the nights became incredibly…

My DH is transitioning between stage 7 and stage 8. He has mixed dementia and is receiving hospice care. He is now in a memory care facility. There are at least two other people in his section who are also dying. I have been with my DH for 6 to 8 hours each day for a week now. So far I haven't seen anyone in his section…

Please help. We moved our mom from assisted living to memory care (within the same facility) a little over 2 weeks ago. She wasn't functioning great in AL in terms of her ability to engage in activities, go on the errand trips, etc. But she was happy. She would walk around the building, say hello and chat with people and…

Hi- I feel like I am in a situation with multiple circumstances and need advice. My mom is in middle to late stage dementia. She currently lives at home with her husband but needs more care. I am in the final stages of signing her up for memory care. Most days mom does not see that she needs to move and says she won’t do…

I am sure there is no routine or common visiting schedule. Someone recently asked me how often I visit my mom, and I told them about once a week. In reality, it is less than that. I guess I thought if I told them the honest truth, I would sound like a horrible person. Truth be told, I could visit my mom every single day…

No formatter is installed for the format not-found

I am trying to understand what is expected in a memory care facility regarding personal hygiene, dietary needs and housekeeping. We just moved my dad (just turned 86) from on memory care place to a new one, mostly to get him closer to mom so she can see him every day. THe old place had a TERRIBLE menu. Supposed to have…

I have never understood why memory care is always in an assisted living setting but it is what it is. This week is national assisted living week to celebrate residents and care givers. Those of us who are spending our life savings and 401ks on our spouses assisted living are not being celebrated or recognized. Typical of…

I know that no one can answer this question but me, and I know there probably isn’t a “right” time, but it is so hard to decide when I feel selfish and guilty and all I can do is cry when I think about it. Mom is 96 and physically very healthy. She has dementia and she is legally blind. She has lived with me for over 2…

It seems I have a new concern each time I visit my mother in MC. Today's question of the day is "Who is responsible to ensure the medical staff and my mom's MC facility follows the orders given for care after someone is released from a hospital?" My sister is POA for everything with mom. (I used to have POA jointly with…

I've been the sole caregiver for my 79-yr-old DW for almost five years. (I now have aides two mornings a week.) She has ALZ and vascular dementia, probably now in late stage 5 / early 6. The past six months have seen a sizable deterioration. There may be "silent seizures" involved. She is still fairly healthy physically,…

New to realizing no care team in the world can care for LO like I did in my home, emotionally/general attention/wants & needs, although clinically I could never keep up! Tell me of times where you felt similar and moved a LO to a different MC only to find that the previous team (although imperfect) was actually doing well,…

Hello all, Dad really wanted to come with me today as I was leaving. He hasn't done that for a while, so I was out of practice. It was also a very low staff day today. For instance, I had to ring the doorbell three times (with long wait periods in between) for someone to come let me in. So I know there's a pretty good…

Hello, I was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's in October at the age of 49. I've had the the test and it does show I have one variance of the APOE/4 gene and the only kind of Alzheimer's we have my family is on my mom's side and they were diagnosed in their middle to late '70s. This is just been a shock I knew…

Hello community, Dad has been in his new care home since Wednesday, so almost a week. It is much smaller and in a home-like environment. He needed a new place after a stay at a geri psych inpatient hospital due to behavioral expressions. The entire 2 years at his previous home we struggled to address the anxiety he was…

I get tired of hearing about the people who were able to care for their spouses at home until the spouse passed away. I cared for my DH for as long as I could. His doctor and much of my family tell me I took care of him a few months longer than I should have. My DH was mean and angry most of the time. He wouldn't let me…

We have made the decision to move my mom to memory care. We can't decide how to tell her. The facility says to just tell her the day she is going. Her cognition is still ok and she'll see this as us "tricking" her. We are considering having a discussion with her about this but we k ow she'll be resistant.....any advice?

I am new to this site. My significant other (SO), is battling Alzheimer's. I just need to know what I am able to do to make both our lives easier. I feel like I have already lost a lot of the man I married. He has good days and bad days. But, it has taken a toll on us. I am having to do the things he use to do along with…

Hello dear community, I am having one of those days when I question my decisions and see faults and what's lacking. I know that's silly because over these 2+ years I've done several things that needed doing to keep dad safe. Ugh. The reality, though, is that even when I remind myself of the positives I still feel critical.…

I am struggling with helping my Mom feel she still has a purpose. After 2 1/2 years in AL, she was recently (3 weeks ago) moved to MC. Her anxiety was increasing and staff felt as though the smaller environment would be better for her. In between activities (she would go, but rarely actively participate) she didn't know…

I posted here a while back when my mom was first diagnosed with ALZ and I was trying to move her from FL to GA to be closer to me. She’s 65, I’m 30, and I’ve been her POA for about a year. She’s divorced, so this has all been pretty overwhelming at times. After a really tough few months, my sister and I were able to get…

After 2 years in ALF my mother is in need of a higher level of care - primary because of her needs at night like toileting and her inability to call for assistance when she needs it. ALF is giving me some time to decide what I will do, but I am having a hard time with the options I am considering - and would love different…

I am about to move my parents into memory care in a few weeks. They are both 95 with stage 4/5 dementia. They have been living in assisted living for the past 4 years so the move would just be across the courtyard to a more secure facility with more support. My question for this group is when, how, or if to tell them they…

My DW (65) has been battling Alzheimer’s for the past 8 years and is now in early Stage 7. I have been her primary caregiver throughout this journey, although earlier this year I hired a caregiver who comes four days a week during the daytime to help. Over the past several months, my wife has continued to decline. Most…

I took care of my DH at home. He has Alzhiemer's and vascular dementia. I had to place him in memory care a couple of months ago. I miss him and visit every day. He is receiving excellent care. He looks better and is much calmer. For me the place he is at is a total nightmare. It is very poorly managed. They don't even get…

I was persuaded to send my DH with mixed dementia to memory care. He is very hard to care for and fights anyone who tries to help him. It often takes two people to change him because he won't cooperate. I miss him. I don't miss the work. I have no idea what is next for me. I have literally spent the last three years…

My husband only wants me with him to care for him - no relatives or caregivers. He wants me around all the time and if I leave the house, he forgets where I am and thinks I am dead, even with reminders from the relative or caregiver with him. He worries the whole time I am gone. I am his everything, which is a lot to…