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Suggestions on making the move to MC
My father has been the primary caretaker for my 78 y/o mom for the last 5 years of her Alzheimer's diagnosis. A daily routine was working "well" in that it was predictable, and her ability to live in a well-managed environment was working as good as one might expect. In the past 3 months however, she has experienced…
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Early Onset Alzheimer's at 49
Hello, I was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's in October at the age of 49. I've had the the test and it does show I have one variance of the APOE/4 gene and the only kind of Alzheimer's we have my family is on my mom's side and they were diagnosed in their middle to late '70s. This is just been a shock I knew…
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what is expected in memory care?
I am trying to understand what is expected in a memory care facility regarding personal hygiene, dietary needs and housekeeping. We just moved my dad (just turned 86) from on memory care place to a new one, mostly to get him closer to mom so she can see him every day. THe old place had a TERRIBLE menu. Supposed to have…
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Early Onset Alzheimer's at 49
Hello, I was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's in October at the age of 49. I've had the the test and it does show I have one variance of the APOE/4 gene and the only kind of Alzheimer's we have my family is on my mom's side and they were diagnosed in their middle to late '70s. This is just been a shock I knew…
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Losing Weight, Looking for Advice
Hi there - New Here This is my first post so forgive me if there are any formatting errors and length. I am one of the caregivers for my great aunt, late 70s, who I believe has end middle to late stage. We placed her in MC back in August because she lived alone and it was just becoming too much for her. Since entering the…
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Advice on Transition to MC
Hi. With reluctance and fear, we are going to move my Dad from independent living with my Mom into MC. I know this is a painful process for all families, My Mom and Dad have been together for 65+ years. My family is scared that my Dad will become very angry at us, especially my Mom (the dutiful wife). We don't know what…
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Memory care guilt
My mom was driving and living alone 3 years ago and now can barely walk with a walker, has total incontinence, can't dress herself, and is furious I put her on memory care, where im sure frightens her because she sees her future there. I am overwhelmed with guilt over this decision. It was my decision alone because my…
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Early On-set sadness
My DH seems to be advancing rapidly in his disease; he is only 61. I feel guilty that it's because I can't provide the level of care he needs. We've made too many trips to the ER lately. Most recently, he fell out of bed, tripped on a metal step stool, broke it, and then snapped the stabilizing bar, and it stabbed him in…
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How to handle transition to memory care
My sister has been living in an assisted living residence for about 3 years, but her cognitive abilities are quickly slipping into a need for more care. She's falling, wandering into other apartments, needing more assistance with hygiene, even having very strong delusions. She's openly expressed a fearful dread of being…
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Memory care question
Has anyone ever had your MC facility ask you to spend the night with your LO? Mom fell. She went to hospital and is ok but sore. They gave her some meds but MC wants someone with her in case she tries to get up overnight. Something doesn’t seem right
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Should I move my mom?
Hello, My mom is in a memory unit of an assisted living facility. She is nearly 98 years old, wheelchair bound, and can still have basic conversations. The details are below but to make a long story short, they sent my mom to the ER without an aid and without informing me. The details: The other morning I got a call from…
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Grief while still caring for LO
I just need to vent to someone that understands. Mom is in MC so I know I am not dealing with as much as many here, but it is so hard. She is sad, angry, scared and confused and any one of those is hard to watch your Mom go through. I miss my Mom and all the good times. I had my doctor say “it must be easier now that she…
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Guilt, Grief, and Memory Care
My mother and I always had a difficult relationship, but I know she loved me very much. She is in the moderate stages of Alzheimer’s and this disease has actually changed her into the sweetest person, partially due to her taking sertraline. So, in a turn of events I actually really like being around her now. She has enough…
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memory care bail out
Well I thought I had done it. I placed my DH, probably early stage 6, in a local memory care facility. I had looked at every likely place and decided this one was the best. No health department citations, many many positive reviews. Chickens and bunnies. I had visited 4 times. It has lots of activities, though I knew he…
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Positive experience with Palliative Care
First I would like to thank all of the wonderful knowledgeable people on this platform that have helped me over the last couple months since I started visiting and learning from everyone. My husband was diagnosed 6 years ago with Mild Cognitive Impairment. Eighteen months later, during Covid, he was diagnosed with Multiple…
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65 days in memory care
I haven't posted in a while, but I thought I would tell the story of my DH's adjustment to MC and ask you all a question. He had a very rough time for the first three weeks, then slowly began to adjust and to take part in activities which has progressed to him being fairly happy by six weeks or so. One of the reasons he's…
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DH in MC 3 days now...
DH is 73 in stage 5 teetering into to 6. He was scheduled to move into a different MC 8/21 but that fell apart and he moved into what I think is a good facility this week. He is confused and wants to leave. Not aggressive, but concerned about where his sister and I am. Today he wanted to leave with me and wanted me to…
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Update on Memory Care transition
My DH has been in MC now for 34 days. He continues to have delusions about his safety and mine, but I have found that he starts down that path if I am with him too long and there are no outside activities going on. So for now what is working is coming for scheduled walks and bus rides on Tues. and Thursday, and taking him…
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How to support mom?
We moved my dad to memory care this week after a stroke one month ago. My sister and I are physically, mentally, and emotionally drained, but also want to be able support my mom (82 yrs) with this life altering event. I call and she’s sobbing but won’t talk to me and just tells me she has to go. As exhausted as we are, I…
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Volunteer to visit dad in memory care
We recently moved my 89 year-old father from Assisted Living into Memory Care. My mother recently passed and they had been living together. My dad has no short term memory but is social and can carry on a decent conversation, especially around sports, science or politics. We'd like to have someone, preferably a man, to…
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Memory Care transition
Well it has been 2.5 weeks since my DH has been in memory care. Prior to this, he spent 3.5 weeks in the hospital. The first couple of days he was there, I literally slept like a log. My bed didn't even look like i had moved a muscle. But as the days wear on I'm finding my big old house so quiet. It's sad. The facility is…
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Moved husband to memory care and he just wants me
I brought my husband, who is in stage 6, to a memory care facility yesterday and today the director called me. I wasn't really surprised because my main concern was how dependent he is on me and how much he loves being home. Today, there was a woman who looked like me visiting another resident and he thought she was me and…
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Girlfriend reprise
You may recall last winter my dh had a girlfriend in his MCF. He was moved to the next higher level of care, and because that higher level of care has two separate wings I thought we had solved that problem. Today I find that girlfriend has been moved over as well and is now two doors down from him. I don't know why they…
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Not sure the MC facility has my mother's ADLs addressed
About three months ago I noticed a few things lacking in my mother's room regarding her personal care. One was that she did not have any toothpaste, shower soap or washcloths. I wondered how they were properly bathing or brushing her teeth. I also noticed the toilet paper roll was down to the last few squares and there was…
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Keep Putting Off MC Visits
Placed DW in MC four years ago, and it was the right decision. Moved her from a deteriorating for-profit facility to a public facility providing excellent care. She is happy in her circumstances - still aware enough to interact on a limited basis with others, feed herself with assistance, and so on. As her early-onset AD…
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Days Out for MC Resident?
My dad has been in MC for about a year and is now about stage 5/6. We have brought him to our house for a meal and a visit of a few hours most weekends in good weather (no overnights). Mostly this has been OK. He likes the food, and hosting him in our home gives me some sense of satisfaction. He has put up very little…
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Recently Admitted Father to MC, and wondering if it gets easier
Hi, I'm pretty new to the discussions here. Last week, my father was taken by ambulance to the hospital due to a heart issue he had at a McDonalds at 6AM. When he was admitted to the hospital, it was obvious to the staff that he should no longer be living alone. I believed he could go on living by himself, thinking that…
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Who is responsible for following up on directives after release from hospital?
It seems I have a new concern each time I visit my mother in MC. Today's question of the day is "Who is responsible to ensure the medical staff and my mom's MC facility follows the orders given for care after someone is released from a hospital?" My sister is POA for everything with mom. (I used to have POA jointly with…
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Visited mom in MC and found another resident sleeping on top of her bed
I visited my mom yesterday in her Memory Care apartment. The door was ajar. I walked inside and saw my mom in her bed under a couple blankets. To my surprise, there was a woman lying across the foot of her bed on top of it face up. Just sleeping there. I took a photo for evidence. Then went to get the attention of a staff…