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Memory Unit or Home Care
Hello guys, I wanted to ask for advice. I'm taking care of my Mom (Russian speaker), she has Alzheimer's dementia. She gets 8 hours a day covered for home care. My brother and I are covering the rest of the time, including nights. It's taking a toll on our families (Mercy Care doesn't want to cover any more hours). We…
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Day 10 of Memory Care
Hi everybody, I haven’t been on for a bit. I’m still struggling to adjust to DH in Memory Care, and it’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Memory care hasn't been horrible, but there are definitely good care aides, and not so good care aides. I’m very glad I decided to go at different times of the day and just pop in…
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How to move from assisted living to memory care
My mom has been living in AL almost 2 years after difficult move out to California from Michigan. She did well the first year, but then AL decided to renovate and the disruption triggered fear. She’s 77 years old and was diagnosed with likely dementia, has aphasia and recently has been having auditory hallucinations. She’s…
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The Move to Memory Care is Here
So after over 4 weeks in Rehab for his knee and 5 weeks in a Geri Psych unit, my husband is finally being moved to Memory Care tomorrow. This facility wasn't my first, second or even third choice, but nobody wanted him! He went through multiple care assessments, and they all basically said "we don't think he's a good fit…
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Did I Give Up Too Soon?
Following a violent outburst (mom attacked her in home caregiver) when she had a UTI, I made the difficult decision to place mom in MC. Tomorrow will be 2 weeks. She is more lucid than the other residents in her MC, but 'loops' verbally a lot, and it is clear that there's significant decline within the past 3 months. I am…
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I moved DW to memory care (part 1)
This is my (very long) saga of moving DW to memory care, and how we reached that point. I hope you will find it interesting, if not useful. I used to participate in this forum until a few months ago. Then DW's condition made it impossible. She needed my attention, demanded my attention. I remember reading other people's…
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How often do you visit your LO in Memory Care?
I am sure there is no routine or common visiting schedule. Someone recently asked me how often I visit my mom, and I told them about once a week. In reality, it is less than that. I guess I thought if I told them the honest truth, I would sound like a horrible person. Truth be told, I could visit my mom every single day…
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State Law Regarding Patient to Employee ratio at Memory Care Facilities
Did you know that the State of Florida allows the same ratio of staffing for Assisted Living residents as it does for Memory Care! How is this possible when many of those in Memory Care required much more daily support? As individuals we are helpless without the support of organizations like the ALZ Association and…
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What to Look For at MC Facilities
While I'm hoping to not need it soon, I want to get "my ducks in a row." I'll be touring a number of MC facilities within the next couple of weeks. Other than the usual (patient to staff ratios, Med staff, etc.) What red flags should I be looking for? Any questions you wished you asked? Any help or guidance is greatly…
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Mom recently diagnosed, Dad in hospice, preparing for dad's passing
Hello, I just joined this forum, and am looking for suggestions. My elderly parents (93 and 91) are having difficulties. I am their primary caregiver. Dad will pass soon (home hospice), my folks are living in Senior Independent Living apartment together. We have not communicated the DEMENTIA diagnosis to my mother yet, and…
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Needing to move mother to memory care
92 yo mother has been in assisted living for 18 months. Over the last year she has had more episodes of confusion and disordered sleep. She often refuses to dress for bed and will wander the hallway at night - we have an upcoming care meeting and I expect that they will say she needs to move to the memory care unit. We…
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Memory card financing
hi community, just wanted to get advice on how to finance your DH staying at a memory care facility. Does insurance cover that?
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Does your spouse resent that you put him/her into Memory Care?
How common is it that a person entered into Memory Care against their will resents and refuses to let their spouse to visit them? My concern is that she no longer wants to see me after I put her in memory care. Background: My DW has a moderate to advanced level of Dementia. She is in denial there is a problem. She already…
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Put Mom in MC - Feeling Guilty
Yesterday I pur my 89 year old Mother in MC. I am feeling so guilty, like I failed her. I got her there under the guise of meeting a friend, then I just left her. I had ask the staff while preparing her room about leaving phones and tablets for her, they said leave it. Last evening my mom start posting things on Facebook…
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New Year
For those of us who placed our loved ones in MC in 2024, the New Year represents the first year we are no longer providing care 24/7. Nonetheless, we experience sadness, worry, and exhaustion as we struggle to reinvent our lives. We cared for our loved ones for so long until we truly couldn't anymore. We don't miss their…
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Memory Care and/or Assisted Living facilities in Seattle?
Hi, I am currently in the weeds of looking at memory care facilities in the Seattle area for my father (has had Alzheimers for approx 10 years, mid stage, but moving more towards later stage). Additionally his wife (current caregiver) was also recently diagnosed with early dementia. Ideally I would love to find a place for…
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Thanksgiving MC
I don’t know what to do about thanksgiving. My mom is in MC. Has been since August. She keeps bringing up Thanksgiving and my sister who usually hosts. My sister and I were hoping that bringing our families together at the MC’s Thanksgiving holiday buffet celebration would help but it hasn’t. She’s fixated on Thanksgiving…
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LO threatening to get kicked out of MC so he can live on his own.
My dad has been in MC for about 6-8 months. He was previously in two assisted living facilities, but got kicked out because he was wandering outside and getting lost (I got calls from police to pick him up). Since the last time this happened, he was moved into a brand new MC wing in the same facility. It's a nice place —…
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I need advice or someone to talk to. How did/do you manage what helps?
Earlier this year my father who is a 64 year old veteran was diagnosed with early onset dementia. It’s been very difficult for me. I feel so alone and kinda almost ready to give up but I know I can’t do that. We have been in the hospital for over a month. waiting for a memory care unit at the va to let us know when he can…
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reframe my thinking?
Hello community, I think I need a reframe for my thinking. Taking some time away from visiting my dad due to his anxiety and agitation. He has been in MC here closer to me for about a month. I've stayed away for a week and half previously and am currently in the midst of another week away. I keep thinking that he is…
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Need some word tracks
My Mom has been in MC for about 5 weeks. She’s not happy to be there but is slowly settling in. I live 6 hours away so most of my interactions with her are over the phone. I struggle with coming up with good answers to the same questions she asks me over and over again. “How long do I have to be here”? “Who do I talk to…
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Needing to find a home
First off, why is there no comprehensive place to help caregivers / family when it comes time to find a home for someone with ALZ? Every resource I've found tells me different and conflicting information. It's insane. Anyway, my mother is now MS, nearing LS faster than we thought. As much as I would prefer to not put her…
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Visiting DON'T
I went to visit my dh yesterday, as I usually do on Sundays, but this time when we got to the exit door there was traffic. I waited for the person to finish coming in and for the door to lock before I entered the code and gave my dh "last hug" as I usually do. Just then several people arrived to come in so I slipped out,…
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Dad continues to be ready to move out of MC plus staffing changes
Hi Community, Dad continues to talk about moving out. The difference I see now is that he is not only packing up and talking about it like before. Now he puts his jacket on and starts carrying his things to the MC door. The time it was most escalated a staff member was able to redirect him into his room to show her the…
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Facing the move to memory care
I have made the decision to move my DH who has late stage Alzheimer's to a small residential memory care home. He will be moving on November 12. The physicality and relentless needs of his care have simply become too much for me to bear. I have no idea how to face this move or make it a lighter burden for either of us.…
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BIGGEST FEAR, DW MC and what about the whole SEX in MC with others?
Help me navigate the negative thoughts I am feeling. Let me start by stating. I am feeling a tremendous amount of grief. The person in my wife’s very fragile frail body is not the woman I married. I must now consider placement In a memory care home, but I cannot shake this. I have been taking care of her 24/7 now for over…
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I have So Many Questions..
Hi My mom was recently diagnosed with Dementia. She has visual and auditory hallucinations. She is very suspicious of people and even think everyone is trying to kill her. We moved her from independent living to assisted living and she was not happy about it at all. We had to keep her safe and get her more help because she…
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Memory Care - Last Option
My 89 year old mother absolutely refuses to accept anything is wrong with her. I live on the West Coast she lives on the East Coast. I have spent the last 4 months taking care of her. Her doctor agrees she can no longer be left alone without some outside support. She refused a home health aid or live in because she says…
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Seeing DH slowly fade away
The worse part of visiting is leaving & driving 3 hours back to an empty house. The worse part is also seeing the other veterans there that are farther along in their dementia journey knowing what's coming for my DH. This weekly refreshed reminders of loss & grief are dragging me down.