-
Thanksgiving MC
I don’t know what to do about thanksgiving. My mom is in MC. Has been since August. She keeps bringing up Thanksgiving and my sister who usually hosts. My sister and I were hoping that bringing our families together at the MC’s Thanksgiving holiday buffet celebration would help but it hasn’t. She’s fixated on Thanksgiving…
-
Memory Care and/or Assisted Living facilities in Seattle?
Hi, I am currently in the weeds of looking at memory care facilities in the Seattle area for my father (has had Alzheimers for approx 10 years, mid stage, but moving more towards later stage). Additionally his wife (current caregiver) was also recently diagnosed with early dementia. Ideally I would love to find a place for…
-
LO threatening to get kicked out of MC so he can live on his own.
My dad has been in MC for about 6-8 months. He was previously in two assisted living facilities, but got kicked out because he was wandering outside and getting lost (I got calls from police to pick him up). Since the last time this happened, he was moved into a brand new MC wing in the same facility. It's a nice place —…
-
I need advice or someone to talk to. How did/do you manage what helps?
Earlier this year my father who is a 64 year old veteran was diagnosed with early onset dementia. It’s been very difficult for me. I feel so alone and kinda almost ready to give up but I know I can’t do that. We have been in the hospital for over a month. waiting for a memory care unit at the va to let us know when he can…
-
reframe my thinking?
Hello community, I think I need a reframe for my thinking. Taking some time away from visiting my dad due to his anxiety and agitation. He has been in MC here closer to me for about a month. I've stayed away for a week and half previously and am currently in the midst of another week away. I keep thinking that he is…
-
Need some word tracks
My Mom has been in MC for about 5 weeks. She’s not happy to be there but is slowly settling in. I live 6 hours away so most of my interactions with her are over the phone. I struggle with coming up with good answers to the same questions she asks me over and over again. “How long do I have to be here”? “Who do I talk to…
-
Needing to find a home
First off, why is there no comprehensive place to help caregivers / family when it comes time to find a home for someone with ALZ? Every resource I've found tells me different and conflicting information. It's insane. Anyway, my mother is now MS, nearing LS faster than we thought. As much as I would prefer to not put her…
-
Visiting DON'T
I went to visit my dh yesterday, as I usually do on Sundays, but this time when we got to the exit door there was traffic. I waited for the person to finish coming in and for the door to lock before I entered the code and gave my dh "last hug" as I usually do. Just then several people arrived to come in so I slipped out,…
-
Dad continues to be ready to move out of MC plus staffing changes
Hi Community, Dad continues to talk about moving out. The difference I see now is that he is not only packing up and talking about it like before. Now he puts his jacket on and starts carrying his things to the MC door. The time it was most escalated a staff member was able to redirect him into his room to show her the…
-
Facing the move to memory care
I have made the decision to move my DH who has late stage Alzheimer's to a small residential memory care home. He will be moving on November 12. The physicality and relentless needs of his care have simply become too much for me to bear. I have no idea how to face this move or make it a lighter burden for either of us.…
-
BIGGEST FEAR, DW MC and what about the whole SEX in MC with others?
Help me navigate the negative thoughts I am feeling. Let me start by stating. I am feeling a tremendous amount of grief. The person in my wife’s very fragile frail body is not the woman I married. I must now consider placement In a memory care home, but I cannot shake this. I have been taking care of her 24/7 now for over…
-
I have So Many Questions..
Hi My mom was recently diagnosed with Dementia. She has visual and auditory hallucinations. She is very suspicious of people and even think everyone is trying to kill her. We moved her from independent living to assisted living and she was not happy about it at all. We had to keep her safe and get her more help because she…
-
Memory Care - Last Option
My 89 year old mother absolutely refuses to accept anything is wrong with her. I live on the West Coast she lives on the East Coast. I have spent the last 4 months taking care of her. Her doctor agrees she can no longer be left alone without some outside support. She refused a home health aid or live in because she says…
-
Seeing DH slowly fade away
The worse part of visiting is leaving & driving 3 hours back to an empty house. The worse part is also seeing the other veterans there that are farther along in their dementia journey knowing what's coming for my DH. This weekly refreshed reminders of loss & grief are dragging me down.
-
Early On-set sadness
My DH seems to be advancing rapidly in his disease; he is only 61. I feel guilty that it's because I can't provide the level of care he needs. We've made too many trips to the ER lately. Most recently, he fell out of bed, tripped on a metal step stool, broke it, and then snapped the stabilizing bar, and it stabbed him in…
-
have covid can’t visit MC
We had to move my dad who is 82 to memory care about three weeks ago because we couldn’t lift him to change him anymore. He’s in hospice with heart failure and the dementia. In the process my mom (80) and I (51) caught covid and it’s been a week but we are both still symptomatic and testing positive. We are brokenhearted…
-
Memory Care (in SNF) recommendations for Florida
Hello, all. My mother is currently in a secured memory care unit (of a skilled nursing facility). Wanting desperately to move her, as the place that she's in currently is terrible. (The management is criminal.) If anyone has a loved one in memory care in Central or North Florida, would appreciate recommendations via…
-
DH now stage 6
my DH is now stage six. I’m exhausted physically and mentally. He hallucinates, delusional, wanders, paranoid, agitated and confused. The speech is so bad. He can say a word and make a somewhat sentence but cannot put two sentences together to make a thought. He sometimes thinks his children are small. He asked me to tell…
-
First Visit MC - traumatized
Moved mom in 10 days ago to MC unit close to my home from an AL further away. I’ve had no communication with her since the director advised me not too. (Had her cell phone at first but she called the cops when we weren’t answering.) Director told us it would be okay to visit today bc it’s grandparents day and they are…
-
Memory Care transition
Well it has been 2.5 weeks since my DH has been in memory care. Prior to this, he spent 3.5 weeks in the hospital. The first couple of days he was there, I literally slept like a log. My bed didn't even look like i had moved a muscle. But as the days wear on I'm finding my big old house so quiet. It's sad. The facility is…
-
1st night in MC tonight!
The move went well from her AL which was 20 minutes away to MC only 6 minutes from me. She seemed okay. Until I had to leave and she realized I was leaving. Rookie mistake - she has her cell phone. Right after I got home the director called me to inform me that everything is ok and it’s normal but she is upset that my…
-
post placement
Over the past 7 years I've been caring for my DH I've benefited so much from the advice and knowledge of these discussions. We celebrated our 60th wedding anniversary this year and next week I will be placing him in memory care. I am devastated and and would really appreciate hearing from those who have been through it…
-
Out of ideas
My Mom has been in memory care almost a year now. It will be a year the first week of September. She was in AL at the same facility for about six weeks before they insisted she be moved to MC. She was wandering at night and anxious most of the time. Once in MC, there was a transition phase, but it didn't have anything to…
-
First-Time Poster Requesting Support
Hello to you all. This is my first time to post in the forum. I have been reading a few posts that may help me with my father. At his most-recent visit with his neurologist, we were told he was at stage 6B of Alzheimer's. We have been living with what we were told was dementia for several years, and the Alzheimer's…
-
The End of Alzheimer's
Hello, i'm new here. Months ago, my husband asked if i'd research Alzheimer's for him. He's noticing some congnitive decline. i resisted but then this book came to me: "The End of Alzheimer's" by Dr. Dale E. Bredesen. i read it and am 1/2 through his next book: "The End of Alzheimer's Program". i'm wondered if anyone here…
-
what is my aim? I still feel like I'm missing something
Hello dear community, I did take a break from visiting Dad. Mainly because it seemed to be upsetting for him. I've applied your advice (shorter visits, take someone with me, bring a treat to eat, stay in common area spaces) and it helped a lot. I do not go as often and I apply the wise advice given here when I do go. I…
-
Alzheimer
Hola,mi papá enfermó de Alzheimer hace varios años y grácias a la medicación prescrita tuvimos la gran suerte de poder disfrutar de él por más tiempo aunque la enfermedad iba avanzando lentamente hasta que nos dejó el pasado 18 de diciembre de 2023. D.E.P pare
-
Memory Care or Keep trying at home
Is there some magic way to know when the time is right to have your loved one in a Memory Care Facility? A tipping point? I don't want to, for some reason. But I'm exhausted . I feel it would be more for me than him if he went there. Is that the right reason? He is still considered early stage. But the care needed is…
-
Put Mom in MC - Feeling Guilty
Yesterday I pur my 89 year old Mother in MC. I am feeling so guilty, like I failed her. I got her there under the guise of meeting a friend, then I just left her. I had ask the staff while preparing her room about leaving phones and tablets for her, they said leave it. Last evening my mom start posting things on Facebook…
-
Memory care outings-hows that work for everyone
I had to quickly make some big decisions this week. My DH had a trip to the emergency room and then admitted to the hospital. He is not safe to return home. I have secured a room for him in a MCF. All he talks about is getting out of the hospital and going home. I'm sonqorried about the transition. His doctors have told me…