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How do we know what is right?
Mom lives with me full time now, she was going back and forth between myself and my sister until about 4 months ago. We have caregivers coming to the house while we work, and she is on a waiting list for memory care. I just wonder… when a place becomes available, will it be right to say yes we are ready? Mom is generally…
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Memory Care--The Fishbowl
Memory Care is a closed and controlled environment, welcome to The Fishbowl
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Tale of the phone: master manipulator?
My DH has been in MC for about a month now. I visited him once and he actually seemed happier than he had been at home for a long time. It was a quick visit with my DDIL and granddaughter (age 3 yo). I brought him some items he had asked for and he seemed happy to see all of us, especially my granddaughter. Throughout his…
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cross-post: looking to trade visits with someone in Nashville who's parent is in San Fran Bay
hi there this is my first post and I’m so grateful to be here and for this community. My dad has recently been diagnosed with mild cognitive decline though once he quit drinking, I’m hoping he gets that diagnosis revisited. I’m exploring alternatives to the horrific options that I see in terms of forcing him into memory…
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Where does a middle-stage person live?
My sister is 65, looks youthful, could almost "pass" for a non-dementia person if you don't try to have a conversation with her. Up till now we have had her living in a small house with a 24 hour aide. The landlord wants it back for his son, so we have to move her in July. It is not financially sustainable for her to…
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What do I tell Mom when she asks to go home?
Hello, I'm new here, and new to caring for my Mother who is middle stage with dementia. Long story short, my Dad was her primary care give until he passed away suddenly about 2 months ago. He hid from the family his illness (cancer) and the extent of Mom's dementia. I live out of state, so that was pretty easy for him to…
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Moving MWD To Indiana
Hi! My mom who lives in FL was diagnosed with ALZ in June 2023. It has progressed quickly that by December was confusing me with her deceased sister, missing medications, taking the next morning of meds after every nap, forgetting where my brother & I live etc. She lives alone in FL but has a boyfriend who comes over daily…
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Mom is hitting; is it reasonable to expect an action plan?
I'm new here, struggling to find some info so any help is appreciated! - also, sorry for how long this is. Last fall, my sister and I convinced our dad to put Mom in memory care. She's advanced enough that she can't manage personal hygiene or communicate her needs effectively. Mom has this fun thing where she often has…
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Another outburst...doctor suggests new drug...MC
I am just sharing because it helps me to get this off my chest. My DH had another outburst on Thursday night which was truly frightening. My one interest that takes me out of the house is rehearsal for a musical group I belong to, which happens each Thursday evening. Since myself, my DDIL and DS are all a bit afraid of…
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My DH went to MC today
My family and I have been thinking for a long time that because of his angry and agitated behavior DH needed a safer environment than I could provide for him at home. We had chosen a facility in February but we had to await an opening and also had difficulties getting doctors to sign off on their forms. I will say that the…
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Return of the "fugitive"....an update
After DH's PCP told him he was fine and that his "family were trying to put you in MC" and that the PCP refused to sign the form because he was "perfectly fine", the following day (yesterday) my DH called and Uber and left the house. After about 3 hours I got a text from him saying that he was at the airport in the next…
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55-year-old Early Onset: HOW do people pay for memory care?!?!
Hello, I am looking ahead to the impossible-to-predict future and feeling miserable. I'm so confused about some BIG questions. I understand that, as my husband's dementia progresses, we will make adjustments, try to keep him and other family members safe, and keep him at home as long as possible. I understand that SSDI…
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When you take care of family members with AD,what can cheer you up or bring back old happy memories?
Sometimes I feel frustrated when taking care of my grandpa with AD.I don't feel like he's the same him anymore, and we seem to be the most familiar strangers.I wonder what will bring you guys the old happy memory that cheer you up to continuously look after your family members. Hoping to receive some kind answers to help…
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MC failed us
I reported a month ago DW had difficulty going from home to MC, explosive agitation, being combative with staff and other residents - went to ER and then psych hospital. MC gave assurances she could return when stabilized. Psych hospital stay ended up being 25 (!) days with multiple adjustments to meds. She was already on…
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How do you keep in touch with friends and family?
My dad moved to memory care about a month ago. He moved states, about a 5 hour drive, to be in a facility closer to me. At first I had hoped the MC staff would be able to help my dad talk on the phone or zoom with friends/family, but I don’t really think that’s something they do. My dad doesn’t have his phone because he…
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How to do long-distance move into memory care
My uncle has dementia and has recently progressed to the point where he can no longer live alone. He has no close family or friends nearby and my father (his brother) has found memory care near his home, but it is many states away from where my uncle currently lives (18 hour drive or 3-4 hour flight) My uncle is confused…
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Telling the truth
I have put my husband on the waiting list at a small number of memory care residential homes. He is probably in early stage 6. As I read the discussions here, it seems most people who place their spouses in memory care use a ruse to get them there. Is there any reason why I can't just tell the truth to my husband? The…
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Feeling Attacked by Well-Meaning Friends
My Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's almost a year ago now. She lived alone and was really not doing well and she lived 100+ miles away from me. I took some advice and found a really nice MC facility and (thank goodness) put a deposit down. I dreaded the thought of driving my Mom 100 miles to the MC I had reserved for…
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Trying to Capture my Grandma's Memories for Her and the Family
My grandmother has mild dementia that's getting worse and she's slowly losing her memories. I'm trying to use my engineering background to create a sort of Scrapbook/Memorybook for my grandmother and for my family to enjoy. My goal is to design something that can help my grandma capture her memories by uploading photos to…
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Trying to Capture my Grandma's Memories for Her and the Family
My grandmother has mild dementia that's getting worse and she's slowly losing her memories. I'm trying to use my engineering background to create a sort of Scrapbook/Memorybook for my grandmother and for my family to enjoy. My goal is to design something that can help my grandma capture her memories by uploading photos to…
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DH placed this week-ups and downs
My DH went to memory care on Monday-my daughter and I brought him in. He was fairly confused about what was happening when we left, but seemed okay. Monday night the memory care staff called me, and said he was agitated and had barricaded the door to the kitchen. I got on the phone with him and was able to calm him down.…
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MC journey off to a very rough start
After 3 nights secret work in late hours preparing for moving DW age 59 into MC, I thought I was going to get a break on move-in day (last Friday 3/1). DW has had a lot of agitation and they reassured me they are used to dealing with this. We arrived at 10am, the team assembled in her room, collected meds, signed off on…
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SNF vs MC
I'm curious about the difference in the level of care between a skilled nursing facility and a memory care facility. I think my confusion is because MC counts as assisted living and I'm concerned that's not sufficient. My husband needs help with all ADLS and must be supervised at all times. To get him to eat, I need to…
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Finding balance while managing guilt.
My mom is heavily dependent on me. Even though my mother is living in a AL, she expects and asks to see me everyday. I try to see her as much as I can as I know seeing me comforts her but I am having trouble balancing everything. In addition to caring for her, I also am trying to maintain my own household, care for my…
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Memory care transition and selling the house
Hi everyone. I’m new to this forum and I am finding it so so helpful. My dad was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment in 2021 and it has gotten progressively worse. His new diagnosis is VD. He is 76 and in very good physical health. My mom passed in 2020 after an extended health struggle, and my brother moved in and…
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Sometimes I forget some very important things
Hii my name Mohan yadav and I’m 32years old All the most important tasks, how much money was given to whom, for how much, where was it kept and some other things, I often forget people's names, some in two days, some in one day, some in 5 days.
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Adult Day Care vs. MC
Hi everyone, In your experience, is adult day care more like respite care if the LO with dementia lives with their primary caretaker? My mom lives alone, and I'm trying to figure out if adult day care can help her continue to live alone at home through stage 4 so I can delay putting her in MC until stage 5, or if it…
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Planning a Family Forum
Hi, everyone. I am in charge of planning a support group for resident's families, but I have been working in memory care for only about 5 months now. Yes, I have learned a lot about dementia and Alzheimer's and have a range of topics I would like to talk about at this family forum, but I would love to hear what other…
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When did you know it was time to move LO from AL to MC?
I've lived far away from LO for many years. My brother and I decided it was time for her to move to AL in December and that it was best if it is near me. I tricked her into visiting and temporarily staying in a community since no one is home during the day and she would have more to do. She still thinks that it is…
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Patient will not shower
My LO is in memory care. He will not shower. It's been 3 months, and no shower. He won't leave his room. If he gets rattled, he mutters over and over, "God, please let me die."