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Return of the "fugitive"....an update
After DH's PCP told him he was fine and that his "family were trying to put you in MC" and that the PCP refused to sign the form because he was "perfectly fine", the following day (yesterday) my DH called and Uber and left the house. After about 3 hours I got a text from him saying that he was at the airport in the next…
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55-year-old Early Onset: HOW do people pay for memory care?!?!
Hello, I am looking ahead to the impossible-to-predict future and feeling miserable. I'm so confused about some BIG questions. I understand that, as my husband's dementia progresses, we will make adjustments, try to keep him and other family members safe, and keep him at home as long as possible. I understand that SSDI…
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When you take care of family members with AD,what can cheer you up or bring back old happy memories?
Sometimes I feel frustrated when taking care of my grandpa with AD.I don't feel like he's the same him anymore, and we seem to be the most familiar strangers.I wonder what will bring you guys the old happy memory that cheer you up to continuously look after your family members. Hoping to receive some kind answers to help…
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MC failed us
I reported a month ago DW had difficulty going from home to MC, explosive agitation, being combative with staff and other residents - went to ER and then psych hospital. MC gave assurances she could return when stabilized. Psych hospital stay ended up being 25 (!) days with multiple adjustments to meds. She was already on…
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How do you keep in touch with friends and family?
My dad moved to memory care about a month ago. He moved states, about a 5 hour drive, to be in a facility closer to me. At first I had hoped the MC staff would be able to help my dad talk on the phone or zoom with friends/family, but I don’t really think that’s something they do. My dad doesn’t have his phone because he…
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How to do long-distance move into memory care
My uncle has dementia and has recently progressed to the point where he can no longer live alone. He has no close family or friends nearby and my father (his brother) has found memory care near his home, but it is many states away from where my uncle currently lives (18 hour drive or 3-4 hour flight) My uncle is confused…
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Telling the truth
I have put my husband on the waiting list at a small number of memory care residential homes. He is probably in early stage 6. As I read the discussions here, it seems most people who place their spouses in memory care use a ruse to get them there. Is there any reason why I can't just tell the truth to my husband? The…
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Feeling Attacked by Well-Meaning Friends
My Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's almost a year ago now. She lived alone and was really not doing well and she lived 100+ miles away from me. I took some advice and found a really nice MC facility and (thank goodness) put a deposit down. I dreaded the thought of driving my Mom 100 miles to the MC I had reserved for…
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Trying to Capture my Grandma's Memories for Her and the Family
My grandmother has mild dementia that's getting worse and she's slowly losing her memories. I'm trying to use my engineering background to create a sort of Scrapbook/Memorybook for my grandmother and for my family to enjoy. My goal is to design something that can help my grandma capture her memories by uploading photos to…
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Trying to Capture my Grandma's Memories for Her and the Family
My grandmother has mild dementia that's getting worse and she's slowly losing her memories. I'm trying to use my engineering background to create a sort of Scrapbook/Memorybook for my grandmother and for my family to enjoy. My goal is to design something that can help my grandma capture her memories by uploading photos to…
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DH placed this week-ups and downs
My DH went to memory care on Monday-my daughter and I brought him in. He was fairly confused about what was happening when we left, but seemed okay. Monday night the memory care staff called me, and said he was agitated and had barricaded the door to the kitchen. I got on the phone with him and was able to calm him down.…
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MC journey off to a very rough start
After 3 nights secret work in late hours preparing for moving DW age 59 into MC, I thought I was going to get a break on move-in day (last Friday 3/1). DW has had a lot of agitation and they reassured me they are used to dealing with this. We arrived at 10am, the team assembled in her room, collected meds, signed off on…
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SNF vs MC
I'm curious about the difference in the level of care between a skilled nursing facility and a memory care facility. I think my confusion is because MC counts as assisted living and I'm concerned that's not sufficient. My husband needs help with all ADLS and must be supervised at all times. To get him to eat, I need to…
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Finding balance while managing guilt.
My mom is heavily dependent on me. Even though my mother is living in a AL, she expects and asks to see me everyday. I try to see her as much as I can as I know seeing me comforts her but I am having trouble balancing everything. In addition to caring for her, I also am trying to maintain my own household, care for my…
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Memory care transition and selling the house
Hi everyone. I’m new to this forum and I am finding it so so helpful. My dad was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment in 2021 and it has gotten progressively worse. His new diagnosis is VD. He is 76 and in very good physical health. My mom passed in 2020 after an extended health struggle, and my brother moved in and…
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Sometimes I forget some very important things
Hii my name Mohan yadav and I’m 32years old All the most important tasks, how much money was given to whom, for how much, where was it kept and some other things, I often forget people's names, some in two days, some in one day, some in 5 days.
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Adult Day Care vs. MC
Hi everyone, In your experience, is adult day care more like respite care if the LO with dementia lives with their primary caretaker? My mom lives alone, and I'm trying to figure out if adult day care can help her continue to live alone at home through stage 4 so I can delay putting her in MC until stage 5, or if it…
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Planning a Family Forum
Hi, everyone. I am in charge of planning a support group for resident's families, but I have been working in memory care for only about 5 months now. Yes, I have learned a lot about dementia and Alzheimer's and have a range of topics I would like to talk about at this family forum, but I would love to hear what other…
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When did you know it was time to move LO from AL to MC?
I've lived far away from LO for many years. My brother and I decided it was time for her to move to AL in December and that it was best if it is near me. I tricked her into visiting and temporarily staying in a community since no one is home during the day and she would have more to do. She still thinks that it is…
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Patient will not shower
My LO is in memory care. He will not shower. It's been 3 months, and no shower. He won't leave his room. If he gets rattled, he mutters over and over, "God, please let me die."
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LO Refuses Care
Hi Everyone, My parent is in late stage dementia and we cannot find proper care for him. He can still physically speak, but nothing he says makes sense and he cannot respond in a logical way to even the simplest questions. We recently made the hard decision to move him to a memory care facility, but he was promptly removed…
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When to move to long term care/Memory Care?
Hi everyone, I'm new here. My 72 YO mother has been diagnosed with MCI/probable early stage dementia. While she can still generally care for herself (she lives alone and cleans/grocery shops/cooks for herself, although I take care of all her finances, medical care needs and any and all tech/mechanical logistics). She's…
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Considering starting Memory Care
I am considering moving my DW to memory care, and I am asking for feedback. I am 71 and my wife is 72. She retired in 2017 and I retired in 2020. There were some memory issues apparent in 2019, but with hindsight, I can now see that there were cognitive issues earlier. She was formally diagnosed with MCI in early 2021, and…
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Early onset Alzheimer’s (Stage 7)
We knew dad had been struggling for years with depression and insomnia but nothing prepared us for the effects of early onset Alzheimer’s. My mom has always been a working mom, 60 hours a week, every week without taking any sick days. My dad struggled with holding down jobs and was dealing with mental illness year after…
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Skilled Nursing Facilities
Many of us could write a book! I have been a caregiver for my brother for the past year when he 'crashed' with Dementia. He's been diagnosed with Frontotemporal Dementia. He was repeating himself for years but 1500 miles between us made me quite in denial I guess of how he was progressing. In september '22 I flew to him…
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Convincing LO to Move
New here and need help... 4 months ago, I came to my parent's house out of state thinking I was going to support my parents for a few weeks, working remotely, for my mom's knee replacement surgery. Long story short, I have been back home for 56 hours because my mother fell and fractured 4 ribs, contracted asymptomatic…
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It feels like there are no good choices
Hello, I'm new here. I originally posted in the caregiver group, but I don't think it's very active. I could use some support. My mother with Alzheimers lives with my 89 yr old father in an Assisted Living facility nearby. She is still full of life. She is the sweetest and most loving mother. We still have a wonderful time…
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Questions for MCF
I'm touring a couple of memory care facilities tomorrow. Here are discussion items I've thought of. What am I missing? Staffing ratio. How are schedules organized? Weekend staffing. What kind of assistance/services can we count on? What costs extra? What will I need to manage myself? Activities and programming Meals…
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Are my dad’s visits making my mom more anxious
Hello- my mom currently lives in memory care which I am so, incredibly grateful for every day as neither myself or my dad could support her needs at home anymore. We had to move out with our young children when my mom had delusions and hallucinations because she thought my husband was abusing our kids, abusing me, it was a…
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Drastic Change in Posture
Hi all! My mom is 70 and I am her 27 yo daughter/caregiver. Over the summer we placed her in a memory care unit due to her FTD getting worse. Last month, within a week her posture drastically changed. She is hunched over and she is unable to move her head up (her chin is touching her chest). She was just evaluated by a…