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MC journey off to a very rough start
After 3 nights secret work in late hours preparing for moving DW age 59 into MC, I thought I was going to get a break on move-in day (last Friday 3/1). DW has had a lot of agitation and they reassured me they are used to dealing with this. We arrived at 10am, the team assembled in her room, collected meds, signed off on…
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SNF vs MC
I'm curious about the difference in the level of care between a skilled nursing facility and a memory care facility. I think my confusion is because MC counts as assisted living and I'm concerned that's not sufficient. My husband needs help with all ADLS and must be supervised at all times. To get him to eat, I need to…
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Finding balance while managing guilt.
My mom is heavily dependent on me. Even though my mother is living in a AL, she expects and asks to see me everyday. I try to see her as much as I can as I know seeing me comforts her but I am having trouble balancing everything. In addition to caring for her, I also am trying to maintain my own household, care for my…
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Memory care transition and selling the house
Hi everyone. I’m new to this forum and I am finding it so so helpful. My dad was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment in 2021 and it has gotten progressively worse. His new diagnosis is VD. He is 76 and in very good physical health. My mom passed in 2020 after an extended health struggle, and my brother moved in and…
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Sometimes I forget some very important things
Hii my name Mohan yadav and I’m 32years old All the most important tasks, how much money was given to whom, for how much, where was it kept and some other things, I often forget people's names, some in two days, some in one day, some in 5 days.
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Adult Day Care vs. MC
Hi everyone, In your experience, is adult day care more like respite care if the LO with dementia lives with their primary caretaker? My mom lives alone, and I'm trying to figure out if adult day care can help her continue to live alone at home through stage 4 so I can delay putting her in MC until stage 5, or if it…
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Planning a Family Forum
Hi, everyone. I am in charge of planning a support group for resident's families, but I have been working in memory care for only about 5 months now. Yes, I have learned a lot about dementia and Alzheimer's and have a range of topics I would like to talk about at this family forum, but I would love to hear what other…
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When did you know it was time to move LO from AL to MC?
I've lived far away from LO for many years. My brother and I decided it was time for her to move to AL in December and that it was best if it is near me. I tricked her into visiting and temporarily staying in a community since no one is home during the day and she would have more to do. She still thinks that it is…
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Patient will not shower
My LO is in memory care. He will not shower. It's been 3 months, and no shower. He won't leave his room. If he gets rattled, he mutters over and over, "God, please let me die."
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LO Refuses Care
Hi Everyone, My parent is in late stage dementia and we cannot find proper care for him. He can still physically speak, but nothing he says makes sense and he cannot respond in a logical way to even the simplest questions. We recently made the hard decision to move him to a memory care facility, but he was promptly removed…
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When to move to long term care/Memory Care?
Hi everyone, I'm new here. My 72 YO mother has been diagnosed with MCI/probable early stage dementia. While she can still generally care for herself (she lives alone and cleans/grocery shops/cooks for herself, although I take care of all her finances, medical care needs and any and all tech/mechanical logistics). She's…
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Considering starting Memory Care
I am considering moving my DW to memory care, and I am asking for feedback. I am 71 and my wife is 72. She retired in 2017 and I retired in 2020. There were some memory issues apparent in 2019, but with hindsight, I can now see that there were cognitive issues earlier. She was formally diagnosed with MCI in early 2021, and…
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Early onset Alzheimer’s (Stage 7)
We knew dad had been struggling for years with depression and insomnia but nothing prepared us for the effects of early onset Alzheimer’s. My mom has always been a working mom, 60 hours a week, every week without taking any sick days. My dad struggled with holding down jobs and was dealing with mental illness year after…
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Skilled Nursing Facilities
Many of us could write a book! I have been a caregiver for my brother for the past year when he 'crashed' with Dementia. He's been diagnosed with Frontotemporal Dementia. He was repeating himself for years but 1500 miles between us made me quite in denial I guess of how he was progressing. In september '22 I flew to him…
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Convincing LO to Move
New here and need help... 4 months ago, I came to my parent's house out of state thinking I was going to support my parents for a few weeks, working remotely, for my mom's knee replacement surgery. Long story short, I have been back home for 56 hours because my mother fell and fractured 4 ribs, contracted asymptomatic…
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It feels like there are no good choices
Hello, I'm new here. I originally posted in the caregiver group, but I don't think it's very active. I could use some support. My mother with Alzheimers lives with my 89 yr old father in an Assisted Living facility nearby. She is still full of life. She is the sweetest and most loving mother. We still have a wonderful time…
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Questions for MCF
I'm touring a couple of memory care facilities tomorrow. Here are discussion items I've thought of. What am I missing? Staffing ratio. How are schedules organized? Weekend staffing. What kind of assistance/services can we count on? What costs extra? What will I need to manage myself? Activities and programming Meals…
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Are my dad’s visits making my mom more anxious
Hello- my mom currently lives in memory care which I am so, incredibly grateful for every day as neither myself or my dad could support her needs at home anymore. We had to move out with our young children when my mom had delusions and hallucinations because she thought my husband was abusing our kids, abusing me, it was a…
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Drastic Change in Posture
Hi all! My mom is 70 and I am her 27 yo daughter/caregiver. Over the summer we placed her in a memory care unit due to her FTD getting worse. Last month, within a week her posture drastically changed. She is hunched over and she is unable to move her head up (her chin is touching her chest). She was just evaluated by a…
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Risky walking and ALF/MC
How do you balance your LO's desire to walk when it's risky, with the MC / ALF desire for them to always stay safe? Mom is in a wheelchair following a broken hip. She's done a lot of PT / Rehab but is usually only able to stand for a moment and transfer from wheelchair to bed, or wheelchair to toilet, or wheelchair to a…
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Ways to have a meaningful visit
I posted about a year ago after my mother had cataract surgery. She seemed to develop dementia over night after the surgery. She was at home till December but kept going to the neighbors house and saying bizarre things. After monthly trips to the ER for this and that, and calling 911 several times they finally admitted her…
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Caregiver Burden and Lack of Support with Loved One with Dementia (Behavioral)
Hi All, My grandma was diagnosed with bipolar in her 40s, and since her 70s has further been diagnosed with dementia. She is an Italian immigrant with little education, but has lived in the US since the 1960s. Her spouse passed years ago, so her support system includes my mom, and only a few of her siblings (my mom is my…
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Parent in AL - Do you wish you have more information?
Hi All, First time posting. Glad to find this resource. We moved our father into a nearby AL from a different AL many hours away back in May. I'm very close to the new facility, and have a sibling who lives out of state. The move was smooth, father is settling in nicely, and from that standpoint, we're VERY lucky! Curious…
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Moving loved one into MC
I am trying to move my mother into MC and after being very passive, she is now adamant about staying in her house (she says is her mothers who has been dead for over 55 years). How do you make this change as seamless as possible? :s :s
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Prevention and Slowing of Dementia
Hello everybody, I'm new to this forum and I've been reading a lot of posts over the past few days. I've been seeing a lot of people who have unfortunately been recently diagnosed with Dementia or Mild Cognitive Impairment and are unsure of what steps they can take to reduce their risk or slow progression of disease.…
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When is it time for assisted living ?
I a new here-My mom over the past few years has had short term memory issues (ie. forgetting keys, etc..) but more recently has declined and has trouble keeping track of what day it is, keeping up with current events and her calendar, forgot how to start her car (so we took away the keys). She currently lives…
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Searching for perspective. I am so, so sad and worried it's too soon for MCF.
Hi there, I joined recently and was so unbelievably appreciative of all of the incredibly thoughtful, honest and kind feedback I got in my first post, weeks ago. Thank you. The following might be more of a journal than a request, but I am pleading for perspective. ––– We have selected a MCF for dad (79, Stage 5…
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Figuring out double rent
Hi there! Has anyone experienced this and how did you handle it? My In-laws currently rent. My Mother in Law is considering downsizing to an independent living apartment at a community that also has assisted and memory care available. My Father in Law has dementia and we suspect in less than a year he'll need memory care.…
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MC for my mom soon. Anticipating the guilt, worry, fears, & overwhelm will increase.
Haven't posted or read for a while. No excuses, but a lot of reasons. Honestly, life has just gotten really hard. My mom ( early - mod dementia) will likely be moving to MC soon and i need to share my fears. (She is in rehab community now.) Ive been told that it's the right move, AND that the responsibilities, feelings of…