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Overwhelmed with guilt & grief
It was a long road but my father in law has been living in a memory care facility close to us for about 6 weeks. Even though I know that my husband and I would be unable to care for him safely in our home because he would mostly be alone, I still feel so guilty for this major decision. When family and friends ask about my…
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Resident Financial Application
is this a normal request to fill out? mom is in AL and the MC unit is full. Looking to move her to the sister location. Been negotiating pricing and today was asked to fill out a form about her finances. Then they ‘can see what they can do.’ Why would I disclose her assets?!
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AL to MC - need help!
I’ll try to make this brief. I need help deciding on a MC. Mom is 72 with AZ Lives in a corporate AL for the past 3 months Now needs MC MC unit at AL is full Have to make a choice between having her at the more expensive MC unit in mine and my sister’s town OR having her 25 minutes away for 30k less a year. My sister and I…
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My first visit to Mom in Memory care
We made the difficult decision last week to move my mom from AL to Memory care. It was a emotional decision for me and hard on her. At the advice of the care facility, I have not visited her all week. I plan to go visit her tomorrow for the fist time since the move. I am very nervous. I have talked to her on the phone and…
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Looking for care help for EO Alz Canton, GA
*** closed... thank you *** Hello. I am looking for someone to help my brother-in-law care for my sister. She is 61 with beginning late stage Early Onset Alzheimers. They live in the Woodstock/Canton area. What is the best way to find someone that knows what they are doing? He has interviewed so many that don't quite get…
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When to go from AL to Memory Care?
Wondering how we determine when the right time is to move mom from Enhanced Assisted Living to Memory Care. The plan is to move her to the Memory Care wing at her current Sr Living bldg where she is in the Enhanced Assisted Living setting. She has always been an anxious person, is currently on Zoloft and…
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Researching FACILITIES: Care Managers? Who to trust? What questions to ask? Where to begin?
My husband is only 56 and probably in stage 4. I understand that it's important that I research options for memory care now (or soon), because things can decline abruptly with early-onset AD. I got a list of "care managers" from the Alzheimer's Association hotline folks but they were careful to tell me that they "don't…
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Dad is closer to me now and in a memory care community - we are new to this
Hello dear community, I know that I am not alone. I think hearing from others on this journey will help me cope and understand that some of what I am going through with Dad is part of the disease process. My heart is breaking. So here I am seeking camaradarie and support. My Dad was living independently with an Alzheimer's…
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How do we know what is right?
Mom lives with me full time now, she was going back and forth between myself and my sister until about 4 months ago. We have caregivers coming to the house while we work, and she is on a waiting list for memory care. I just wonder… when a place becomes available, will it be right to say yes we are ready? Mom is generally…
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Memory Care--The Fishbowl
Memory Care is a closed and controlled environment, welcome to The Fishbowl
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Tale of the phone: master manipulator?
My DH has been in MC for about a month now. I visited him once and he actually seemed happier than he had been at home for a long time. It was a quick visit with my DDIL and granddaughter (age 3 yo). I brought him some items he had asked for and he seemed happy to see all of us, especially my granddaughter. Throughout his…
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cross-post: looking to trade visits with someone in Nashville who's parent is in San Fran Bay
hi there this is my first post and I’m so grateful to be here and for this community. My dad has recently been diagnosed with mild cognitive decline though once he quit drinking, I’m hoping he gets that diagnosis revisited. I’m exploring alternatives to the horrific options that I see in terms of forcing him into memory…
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Where does a middle-stage person live?
My sister is 65, looks youthful, could almost "pass" for a non-dementia person if you don't try to have a conversation with her. Up till now we have had her living in a small house with a 24 hour aide. The landlord wants it back for his son, so we have to move her in July. It is not financially sustainable for her to…
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What do I tell Mom when she asks to go home?
Hello, I'm new here, and new to caring for my Mother who is middle stage with dementia. Long story short, my Dad was her primary care give until he passed away suddenly about 2 months ago. He hid from the family his illness (cancer) and the extent of Mom's dementia. I live out of state, so that was pretty easy for him to…
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Moving MWD To Indiana
Hi! My mom who lives in FL was diagnosed with ALZ in June 2023. It has progressed quickly that by December was confusing me with her deceased sister, missing medications, taking the next morning of meds after every nap, forgetting where my brother & I live etc. She lives alone in FL but has a boyfriend who comes over daily…
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Mom is hitting; is it reasonable to expect an action plan?
I'm new here, struggling to find some info so any help is appreciated! - also, sorry for how long this is. Last fall, my sister and I convinced our dad to put Mom in memory care. She's advanced enough that she can't manage personal hygiene or communicate her needs effectively. Mom has this fun thing where she often has…
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Another outburst...doctor suggests new drug...MC
I am just sharing because it helps me to get this off my chest. My DH had another outburst on Thursday night which was truly frightening. My one interest that takes me out of the house is rehearsal for a musical group I belong to, which happens each Thursday evening. Since myself, my DDIL and DS are all a bit afraid of…
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My DH went to MC today
My family and I have been thinking for a long time that because of his angry and agitated behavior DH needed a safer environment than I could provide for him at home. We had chosen a facility in February but we had to await an opening and also had difficulties getting doctors to sign off on their forms. I will say that the…
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Return of the "fugitive"....an update
After DH's PCP told him he was fine and that his "family were trying to put you in MC" and that the PCP refused to sign the form because he was "perfectly fine", the following day (yesterday) my DH called and Uber and left the house. After about 3 hours I got a text from him saying that he was at the airport in the next…
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55-year-old Early Onset: HOW do people pay for memory care?!?!
Hello, I am looking ahead to the impossible-to-predict future and feeling miserable. I'm so confused about some BIG questions. I understand that, as my husband's dementia progresses, we will make adjustments, try to keep him and other family members safe, and keep him at home as long as possible. I understand that SSDI…
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When you take care of family members with AD,what can cheer you up or bring back old happy memories?
Sometimes I feel frustrated when taking care of my grandpa with AD.I don't feel like he's the same him anymore, and we seem to be the most familiar strangers.I wonder what will bring you guys the old happy memory that cheer you up to continuously look after your family members. Hoping to receive some kind answers to help…
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MC failed us
I reported a month ago DW had difficulty going from home to MC, explosive agitation, being combative with staff and other residents - went to ER and then psych hospital. MC gave assurances she could return when stabilized. Psych hospital stay ended up being 25 (!) days with multiple adjustments to meds. She was already on…
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How do you keep in touch with friends and family?
My dad moved to memory care about a month ago. He moved states, about a 5 hour drive, to be in a facility closer to me. At first I had hoped the MC staff would be able to help my dad talk on the phone or zoom with friends/family, but I don’t really think that’s something they do. My dad doesn’t have his phone because he…
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How to do long-distance move into memory care
My uncle has dementia and has recently progressed to the point where he can no longer live alone. He has no close family or friends nearby and my father (his brother) has found memory care near his home, but it is many states away from where my uncle currently lives (18 hour drive or 3-4 hour flight) My uncle is confused…
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Telling the truth
I have put my husband on the waiting list at a small number of memory care residential homes. He is probably in early stage 6. As I read the discussions here, it seems most people who place their spouses in memory care use a ruse to get them there. Is there any reason why I can't just tell the truth to my husband? The…
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Feeling Attacked by Well-Meaning Friends
My Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's almost a year ago now. She lived alone and was really not doing well and she lived 100+ miles away from me. I took some advice and found a really nice MC facility and (thank goodness) put a deposit down. I dreaded the thought of driving my Mom 100 miles to the MC I had reserved for…
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Trying to Capture my Grandma's Memories for Her and the Family
My grandmother has mild dementia that's getting worse and she's slowly losing her memories. I'm trying to use my engineering background to create a sort of Scrapbook/Memorybook for my grandmother and for my family to enjoy. My goal is to design something that can help my grandma capture her memories by uploading photos to…
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Trying to Capture my Grandma's Memories for Her and the Family
My grandmother has mild dementia that's getting worse and she's slowly losing her memories. I'm trying to use my engineering background to create a sort of Scrapbook/Memorybook for my grandmother and for my family to enjoy. My goal is to design something that can help my grandma capture her memories by uploading photos to…
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DH placed this week-ups and downs
My DH went to memory care on Monday-my daughter and I brought him in. He was fairly confused about what was happening when we left, but seemed okay. Monday night the memory care staff called me, and said he was agitated and had barricaded the door to the kitchen. I got on the phone with him and was able to calm him down.…