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Guilt around visiting MCF
Hello, I’m a new member and I was referred by a Dr. to connect with some others going/gone through it. I am in my early 30s and I cared for my mom for ~4 years at our family home before it became too difficult for me to care for her. I didn’t have the skills to provide the care she needed nor the mental strength. I was in…
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Sydney to Hobart Yacht Race
Sailing was what we did, always together, we started sailing joined our 1st Yacht Club in 1971. This is what I wrote on Boxing Day with a very sad heart. The Sydney Hobart Yacht Race All morning he’s said to me. What time is it on, I don’t want to miss it, I must put it on The cricket was going, the time ticked around,…
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Nonstop for my dad. Need suggestions.
My mother has had dementia for 2 years. My father is taking care of her in our own home. Recently, she has been nonstop needing something after helping her just 5 minutes ago. If no one answers right away, she'll throw her cup on the floor, then she will knock her tray down. She also intentionally tries to roll of the…
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How to handle angry people?
I am 74 and have been married for 52 years. I have been slowly declining since 2020. I was happy that I maintained an abiliity to craft a sentence. I have a husband, 74, and two sons, 50 and 48. THe 50 year old is very kind and generous. My husband keeps complaining because I talk too much. My 48 year old son thinks I am…
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New diagnosis, new to group. Having a rough ugly cry day.
I have been very emotional, ugly crying today. Today is hard, others are not- those days I am "numb". I am 41, married for 19 years, I have 5 kids ages 8, 10, 17, 18, 20. I have tested positive for PSEN1 which is one of 3 variants known to cause young onset Alzheimer’s. I have had cognitive symptoms since August 2023. I…
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New here
Good morning everyone. I finally took the step for myself. Talking to someone else about what is happening in my life right now and them knowing how I feel. It’s hard to tell someone who don’t know this disease to every understand. Hopefully I can remember this tool and utilize it. Well, my name is Mia. I been caring for…
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I'm learning to accept this new reality
Hey I'm a 35 year old man who takes care of his mother. She lives a few blocks from me and is going through dementia. Early 2024 is when I first noticed signs. My mom is 77 years old, she is my heart, my Queen. She fights me on EVERYTHING and feels I'm taking her independence from her. I don't really get help from my…
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Obsessed with thinking the internet company is "Stealing"
Does anyone else have to do this or just our family?
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Sexual Behavior in Husbands
Super sexed DH II feel like I am the only 75+ caregivers whose husband is constantly wanting to make love or touch, lay with, hug or kiss me. Do others deal with this and shadowing? Does anyone have help or suggestions? I'm over loved😗
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Having a baby in six weeks, dad is declining
I moved my dad into memory care a little over a year ago. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but he adjusted amazingly well. I moved him a few states away to be near me and I see him a few times a week. The MC he is in is really nice, the staff are amazing and I feel really lucky. But I don’t have any other local…
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Thanksgiving MC
I don’t know what to do about thanksgiving. My mom is in MC. Has been since August. She keeps bringing up Thanksgiving and my sister who usually hosts. My sister and I were hoping that bringing our families together at the MC’s Thanksgiving holiday buffet celebration would help but it hasn’t. She’s fixated on Thanksgiving…
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I need advice or someone to talk to. How did/do you manage what helps?
Earlier this year my father who is a 64 year old veteran was diagnosed with early onset dementia. It’s been very difficult for me. I feel so alone and kinda almost ready to give up but I know I can’t do that. We have been in the hospital for over a month. waiting for a memory care unit at the va to let us know when he can…
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Guns
Hi my father is in the early stages of Alzheimer’s. We live in rural Alaska and he has always had an arsenal of guns in our home. He always carries one with him everywhere we go. He hasn’t given me any reason or worries about his guns. He also hasn’t shot them in almost year or so. But I know there is going to be a day…
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Burnout
Today I want to rant, I’m tired and exhausted, I really thought I had a handle on all this, I love communicating and writing on this site, it balances me and helps me to understand that I am not alone but today I feel so despondent for the last few days all I want to do is cry. I don’t want this any more 7 years is enough…
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Mother with AD has Anxiety
I am new here. My mother was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's in August; but I think she has been struggling for longer than that. She is on Aricept and says that it helps her feel less in a fog. She is still living alone; but I am doing her bills for her. However, she is worrying about EVERYTHING. She makes lists in her…
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Living with a parent with early onset dementia
Hello 👋🏽 I am new to taking care of a parent with dementia. It has been a complete struggle for me. I am a single mother to a beautiful son who is diagnosed with autism. My mother was told by her doctor that he is taking away her drivers license and has asked me to “hide” her car. She is now questioning me about her car…
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Should I share my own surgery recovery with my LO that is in assisted living?
I have been caregiving for my mom for 4 years, moved her to assisted-living two months ago. I was consistently visiting her 4 to 5 times a week to assure her she is still loved and we are not abandoning her. She has vascular dementia and is resistant to much care so she doesn’t let the assisted-living staff do hardly…
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BIGGEST FEAR, DW MC and what about the whole SEX in MC with others?
Help me navigate the negative thoughts I am feeling. Let me start by stating. I am feeling a tremendous amount of grief. The person in my wife’s very fragile frail body is not the woman I married. I must now consider placement In a memory care home, but I cannot shake this. I have been taking care of her 24/7 now for over…
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Young Adult Daughter of Dad with Dementia
Hi everyone! I'm 22, just came home from graduating college and sadly my Dad was recently diagnosed with Dementia after 2 years of agitation, aggression, and eventually psychosis symptoms. With the help of medication, we are so grateful to now get glimpses of the phenomenal superhero of a man/dad he was for me all my life.…
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Feeling defeated
I am new to this forum and after reading through other's posts, I finally feel validated and not alone. I am the caregiver for my Mom who was diagnosed with dementia 2 years ago. She has been living with me for approximately a year after needing more care than could be provided at the ALF she was living in. She has become…
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DH now stage 6
my DH is now stage six. I’m exhausted physically and mentally. He hallucinates, delusional, wanders, paranoid, agitated and confused. The speech is so bad. He can say a word and make a somewhat sentence but cannot put two sentences together to make a thought. He sometimes thinks his children are small. He asked me to tell…
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First Visit MC - traumatized
Moved mom in 10 days ago to MC unit close to my home from an AL further away. I’ve had no communication with her since the director advised me not too. (Had her cell phone at first but she called the cops when we weren’t answering.) Director told us it would be okay to visit today bc it’s grandparents day and they are…
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Memory Care transition
Well it has been 2.5 weeks since my DH has been in memory care. Prior to this, he spent 3.5 weeks in the hospital. The first couple of days he was there, I literally slept like a log. My bed didn't even look like i had moved a muscle. But as the days wear on I'm finding my big old house so quiet. It's sad. The facility is…
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Support for the spouses or partners of dementia caregivers!
:/ Is there any information on support groups for the spouses or partners or the caregivers or info on what it can do to a relationship or marriage? Any information is greatly appreciated!
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Feeling guilty
We’re moving my mom into a smaller apartment in Independent Living this weekend since I’ve had to up her caregiver hours recently and the cost of her 1-bedroom has recently gone up significantly. My hope is to give her more time where she is happy before making a bigger move. But of course she’s just annoyed and unhappy…
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Recent dementia diagnosis
Hi all, I am a young nearly 67 yr old female. Last week I was diagnosed with dementia. Both of my parents passed from the diseasse -my mom at age 84 passed December of last year and my dad passed one week to the day of my diagnosis, July 30, 2024. I was my mom's full time caregiver while she lived with me the last 4 years…
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DH seems to hate me now
DH diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2020 still drives well and manages independently but lately he refuses to return from our mountain cabin or even see me because he says I’m too controlling. It doesn’t matter what I do or say; he finds everything controlling. He’s essentially run away from home (with the dog). Is this…
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what is my aim? I still feel like I'm missing something
Hello dear community, I did take a break from visiting Dad. Mainly because it seemed to be upsetting for him. I've applied your advice (shorter visits, take someone with me, bring a treat to eat, stay in common area spaces) and it helped a lot. I do not go as often and I apply the wise advice given here when I do go. I…
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Overwhelmed with guilt & grief
It was a long road but my father in law has been living in a memory care facility close to us for about 6 weeks. Even though I know that my husband and I would be unable to care for him safely in our home because he would mostly be alone, I still feel so guilty for this major decision. When family and friends ask about my…
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New to this forum. Diagnosed over 4 years ago
Not sure if this is the place to introduce myself; but I had Encephalitis twice - from West Nile Virus and Powassan Virus AND Lyme Disease 7 times. Dr. told me the viruses started this ball rolling. I was doing well, dealing with changes in my life, except not driving. I haven't accepted that well. I've been going between…