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Support for the spouses or partners of dementia caregivers!
:/ Is there any information on support groups for the spouses or partners or the caregivers or info on what it can do to a relationship or marriage? Any information is greatly appreciated!
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Feeling guilty
We’re moving my mom into a smaller apartment in Independent Living this weekend since I’ve had to up her caregiver hours recently and the cost of her 1-bedroom has recently gone up significantly. My hope is to give her more time where she is happy before making a bigger move. But of course she’s just annoyed and unhappy…
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Recent dementia diagnosis
Hi all, I am a young nearly 67 yr old female. Last week I was diagnosed with dementia. Both of my parents passed from the diseasse -my mom at age 84 passed December of last year and my dad passed one week to the day of my diagnosis, July 30, 2024. I was my mom's full time caregiver while she lived with me the last 4 years…
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DH seems to hate me now
DH diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2020 still drives well and manages independently but lately he refuses to return from our mountain cabin or even see me because he says I’m too controlling. It doesn’t matter what I do or say; he finds everything controlling. He’s essentially run away from home (with the dog). Is this…
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what is my aim? I still feel like I'm missing something
Hello dear community, I did take a break from visiting Dad. Mainly because it seemed to be upsetting for him. I've applied your advice (shorter visits, take someone with me, bring a treat to eat, stay in common area spaces) and it helped a lot. I do not go as often and I apply the wise advice given here when I do go. I…
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Overwhelmed with guilt & grief
It was a long road but my father in law has been living in a memory care facility close to us for about 6 weeks. Even though I know that my husband and I would be unable to care for him safely in our home because he would mostly be alone, I still feel so guilty for this major decision. When family and friends ask about my…
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New to this forum. Diagnosed over 4 years ago
Not sure if this is the place to introduce myself; but I had Encephalitis twice - from West Nile Virus and Powassan Virus AND Lyme Disease 7 times. Dr. told me the viruses started this ball rolling. I was doing well, dealing with changes in my life, except not driving. I haven't accepted that well. I've been going between…
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Books that were recommended to me
The Social Worker, Tessa, at The Memory Center Clinic (Dept of Neurology) at the University of Chicago Medicine recommended these 2 books to me, at Ray's appt last Fri. Have any of you checked these out? I read the reviews over at Amazon.com. I ordered these. I'm a retired dinosaur RN. "Travelers to Unimaginable Lands" by…
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Argumentative
Hi new here my mom has had dementia for 2 years she thinks she can do whatever she want .she cancels dr appointments when she knows they Important and she argues with me she not going she does have other health issues I don't know how to help her understand how to get her to go without a argument
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Obsessions
Hey dear people, again, new to this and can't imagine this journey that I'm on and how long it will last without losing my mind... I'm not being disrespectful, it's just where else can I voice my frustrations and worries~ so my DH seems to find a topic (finances, an old worry, etc.) and fret for hours on end, going into…
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Seroquel
Anyone have experience with how long Seroquel will help with hallucinations and delusions? DH has been on it now for about 2 months and it has worked great with hallucinations but he is beginning to have them again. I’m almost at max dosage for him (can still add half a pill or 25mgs). I really don’t like how it makes him…
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LO just diagnosed with VD
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Not sure what to do?
Hello, my name is Mary and I moved in with my mother in January and have been her primary caregiver since then. And to put it nicely I am exhausted. I moved in as my brother was moving out after about a year. My brother's wife abruptly filed for divorce in December of 2022 and he was forced out of him home within 48 hours…
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I don't understand this.
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My Parent Has Become Aggressive
Immediate need for advice! My parent suffering from dementia has progressed to the point of needing care at a facility full time. My stepparent is doing all possible to provide my parent with the best possible care. My parent has been to three different facilities in the last six months. My parent left the first facility…
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Literally the Last Thing I Needed
Hi everybody, hope you’re all doing well. Bit of backstory to this predicament; my mom (60 diagnosed with ALZ) was a single parent to me (25) and my younger sibling (20). My sibling and I have separate fathers, mine passed when I was 7 and theirs is alive but not active in our lives. He was an abusive man to us and my…
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Decisions have to be made…
I finally got the official paperwork with the diagnosis with my father’s dementia being official. He has signed Medical POA, and Durable POA. He probably won’t remember any of it, despite it being notarized and all. Adult Protection Services along with the doctor says he is fully capable of making his own decisions. He…
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On the advice of my therapist
I have a habit of minimizing or stuffing down feelings and emotions. My therapist has given me the assignment of telling someone about something I am struggling with. Not to look for a solution but as a way to validate the experience. And so… I have a great deal of resentment and a feeling of loss of self. DH was diagnosed…
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Coping with a father with dementia in my 20s
At the behest of my therapist, I am looking for the support of others going through similar circumstances as I am. I feel incredibly alone in my slow grieving process for my father, who is 68, and has been dealing with EO dementia for the last two years. I feel completely out of my depth as a 28 year old person without the…
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Competely overwhelmed and in tears or on the verge of tears ALWAYS
Hi all! I'm new here. My 59 yo DH was diagnosed with early onset alzheimer's and primary progressive aphasia in Sept 2020. He was able to continue working until Dec of 22. He's been home and frustrated and bored and angry since then. He gets so confused and believes things that haven't happened. Sees things and people do…
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Life update on mama (60) and me (25)
Hi everyone! I realized it’s been 4 months since I last posted in here, after receiving so much love and support for my last post where I was just venting all my thoughts and feelings. My mom is doing really well, she’s about to be 60! And in a few months my spouse and I will celebrate our 1st wedding anniversary, so…
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Return of the "fugitive"....an update
After DH's PCP told him he was fine and that his "family were trying to put you in MC" and that the PCP refused to sign the form because he was "perfectly fine", the following day (yesterday) my DH called and Uber and left the house. After about 3 hours I got a text from him saying that he was at the airport in the next…
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Father caring for mother
Is anyone like me in a situation in which their father is caring for their mother with Alzheimer's? I am the only daughter (one sibling is deceased, the other is not physically well and not emotionally suited to helping the way that I do). My father, in his 80s, is amazing in many ways as a caregiver (especially in his…
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LO with ALZ
Thirteen years or so ago my Mom started to get angry. She and I worked together; she was the boss and I was one of the employees. My Mom wanted things done a certain way and she also started to exhibit memory issues. Then suddenly one month she got hit by a nasty illness that resulted in her being put in a medically…
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New paranoia- Passenger Seat
It was around a year ago when I first saw my mother have a severe panic attack riding in the passenger seat. I had no idea why she was so upset, she couldn't look at the road, and eventually started crying. I try to comfort her from the back seat. The person driving wasn't speeding and it was not heavy traffic yet she kept…
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Catastrophic Reaction to pain
My mother, 83 , Mixed Dementia (Vascular & Alzheimers) mid to late stage, lives with me and has been Physically able to transfer and walk with a walker us to this point. However, she had a fall last week, and even though she didn't fracture her hip or pelvic area, she is reacting to the pain in such a severe and dramatic…
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A life sentence
I feel so god-forsaken. My DH is in stage 6 (I think) and his constant combativeness and total confusion ruin every single waking day. Truth is I don't even like him anymore and we've been married for 50 years. When he was diagnosed the neurologist said "this isn't a death sentence" and I remember thinking "no, it is a…
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Fed up from the life.
Previously i posted about me feeling that i am forgetting things and losing my memory. I don't remember any happy memories seems they are somewhere in the dark and as much as i know I had many happy memories with kids, family and with the person I love. I am in love with a person, i am going through many things, having…
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Family Giving Me Conflicting Advice
Hi everyone! I (25) am the main caretaker for my mother (59) who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's back in 2022. Recently we've noticed some progression, she recently forgot my name for the first time so it's kicked my brain in to focusing on things like a will and POA. I was talking to my aunt the other night asking her…