Having trouble with Mom

BettyBoop28705

Hi,
I'm new to the Alzheimer's world, as my mom was just diagnosed. The doctor wants her to have a brain MRI and she is giving me a hard time about scheduling the appointment. My dad and I took my mom to the doctor last week to be diagnosed and at that time, both of my parents were fine with the idea of the MRI. Now my mom is stating she wishes she had never agreed to go to the doctor and that she doesn't understand what good the MRI will do for her. She tells me that if my dad thinks the MRI is a good idea, she will go for it. Both parents stated that they will discuss it. My dad is in denial, even though he was at the meeting last week and heard the diagnosis. I'm just trying to do what the doctor has suggested we do. Please help.

SusanB-dil

Hi BettyBoop - welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

Is there a real reason the doc wants an MRI? If mom is already diagnosed, the MRI will not tell anything different and cannot change prognosis. IF the doc thinks it may be something else, then maybe it would be worth it, but realistically, I don't see a reason for it.

It is not unusual for a LO to be in denial. I'm sure dad didn't want to hear that diagnosis. With mom, it is more likely anosognosia. this is not denial, but rather, the inability to see that anything is wrong.

Also - make sure paperwork is in order - DPOA and HIPAA accesses in place. For mom and your dad.

SDianeL

Welcome. Sorry about your Mom’s diagnosis. I would ask the doctor why the MRI is necessary if she is already diagnosed. Then speak to your Dad privately about what the doctor said so you can be on the same page. If you decide she needs the MRI blame the doctor. I found it best not to discuss the diagnosis with my DH. It caused him anxiety.

H1235

Do your have hipaa rights? If so I would call the office and figure out the reason for the mri. There are different kinds of dementia, maybe the mri is to narrow down which type. Maybe they want the mri as a base to monitor how she is progressing, with the intention to do another in a few years. If its something like this, then it probably not really necessary. If they are still trying to rule out other causes, then you can explain the importance to your dad. I would keep information to a minimum when discussing things with your mom. You have an appointment period. If she asks “im not sure what it’s for”. If your dad wants to include and discuss everything with her that’s going to make it tough. As others have said the dpoa is very important. You or a sibling should be listed as a secondary. If this hasn’t been done, it can’t wait! It would also be a good idea for your dad to appoint a dpoa. If you have looked around on this site at all you have probably seen these, but I will attach a few helpful links anyway.

Anosognosia and Dementia - AgingCare.com.pdf

DBAT.pdf

understanding-the-dementia-experience.pdf

BettyBoop28705

The doctor wants to rule out any other form of dementia due to the fact my mom thinks she may have had mini strokes. Her mother had them and had vascular dementia. My parents spoke about the MRI and decided the will go ahead and do it. We have that set for this month. I do have Medical and Durable power of attorney secondary to my dad. Thank you all for responding to my post. I am finding a good support system through many different avenues. I am also learning to slow down and take things one day at a time. I guess I had forgotten that this news is new to not only me, but to my parents as well. We are not even a week out from the diagnosis and I must keep in mind that is overwhelming to all of us.