She Falling; I'm Stressed!

TK67

My 77 year old mother lives with me full time.  She is in the late stage of Alz.  She has a knee that locks on her, vein issues in her legs which make them swell, an internal tremor, and takes medication that makes her dizzy.  Despite all of this she doesn't believe anything is wrong with her and she can walk just fine without help!

NO, NO, NO......she can't!  She has fallen down at least 6 times in the last 5 months and two of those times she had to go to the ER for a CT scan and stitches in her nose.  I'm so STRESSED out trying to keep her from roaming around the house without the help of her walker! 

To make matters worse she has started getting up an hour earlier than she use to which means sometimes she beats me at getting up and I find her roaming around the living room, by herself, without her walker, of course.

When I give her reminders to use her walker she tells me I'm hateful and bossy.  Anytime she moves throughout the house I get the walker and put it in her path (like at her bedroom door) so that she will have to touch the walker to get by.  She does.....she touches the walker and moves it off to the side and goes on without it.

I don't know what to do!  Any advice would be appreciated but please be kind.....I feel fragile!

King Boo

When safety awareness is non existent and declines continue, falls happen.  Frequently.  Even in the best facilities.

Falls increase in frequency to daily/multiple times day often.

About the only thing you can do is remove furniture she can hit her head on like sharp corners, end tables and know that because she lives with you (or for others, she lives in a facility that does frequent room checks) she won't be lying there for hours.

Knowing there is little you can do and that it's not within your ability to stop them alleviates a little of that awful responsibilty we caregivers tend to carry.  So don't beat yourself up when it happens.

It stinks.. . . . . .I don't want to say I got to the point that I shrugged when it happened, I always went out to MC to check on things, but golly - he was falling 3 times a day for about a 6 month period in Stage 6.......I just couldn't be in high alarm all the time or I was going to stroke out myself.

Assessing what you want to do with the aftermath of a fall will depend on what Stage they are in - I got less aggressive over time and had him monitored by the nurse.

Protect your sleep, or everything goes south.  Perhaps the doctor will prescribe for your Mom to sleep a bit better/longer.

I know you want to keep Mom safe but sometimes this disease accelerates things beyond our control.  Don't blame yourself!!!!   

star26

Everything King Boo said was my experience as well. At moderate stage, my Dad fell at least once every 30 days like clockwork. And he used his walker 95% of the time, plus had tons of supervision, and the whole house modified to prevent falls as much as possible. Every fall was because he used very poor judgement: he misused the walker in crazy ways or abandoned it just for a moment. Sometimes I was just a few feet away. It also happened several times when he was in a top nursing facility for respite care. I told the staff "he's right on schedule!" Knowing this however, didn't lower my stress level or keep me from getting upset at him when I'd see him doing something dumb - even though I know better. It's a really tough situation to live with. It wore me down a lot because, like your Mom, all his falls were a big deal (I couldn't get him up myself). And I was working so hard to keep him safe and I felt like I had failed somehow each time he fell (even though that's not true). I consider this to be a largely uncontrollable manifestation of dementia.

Sherry CO

We bought a sensor that activates an alarm, you can carry with you, and it sounds off when there is movement. we have it attached to the door frame. No internet connection needed. We also put a baby monitor, no camera, and when we are downstairs, we can hear her if she starts talking to herself and not out of bed yet to set sensor off. The sensor CO is Smpl, website, smpltec.com. You might be able to sleep better with these, knowing if nothing is going off, all is well.

TK67

Thank you!  I appreciate your advice!  We have installed sensors to all doors leading outside.  A bell sounds if she tries to open them.  We have a camera, with night vision, installed in her room.  We have a walker to use around the house and a wheelchair to use outside the house.  I'm just so stressed about her falling which she has done 5 times with 2 of the 5 times leading us to the ER for stitches and CT scans.  We are now on palliative care from Hospice so if she falls we are suppose to call them first if it is not a huge emergency.  Its nice to know that we are not the only ones going through this!  Thanks again!