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Moment of Being Overwhelmed with WHY?
Please no advice! Just a listening ear is what I need. I am sitting at a Panera alone with an iced tea. I fled our home—literally—-a bit ago because I could not take another moment of being in the presence of DH with mild cognitive impairment from ALZ. I feel utterly alone in this moment and overwhelmed. I have no one to…
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The Velveteen Rabbit
I posted this a long while back, but most of the people here now are new, so I thought it would be a good time to repost. When we were married, almost 46 years ago, the priest added this reading to our wedding ceremony from a children’s book, “The Velveteen Rabbit” by Margery Williams. My sister read it at the ceremony. I…
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Am I being unreasonable?
I’m 81, my DW is 82. I have been her primary caregiver since she was diagnosed three years ago. We live in rural Western PA. Between our prior marriages we have 8 kids. They all live far away, the closest is her daughter who lives fours away. She is in stage 5. I have had to take over all the finances, medications, meal…
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Transitioning While Alert and Active
My LO 82 has Vascular Dementia and Alzheimer’s, heart failure, kidney disease, COPD AND asthma. The doctor said she is transitioning. She sleeps a lot, but talks normally, walks to the bathroom, and family room on her own, helps to bathe herself. Other than the sleeping a lot and memory loss, she seems normal. But says…
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Trigger warnings
Hi all, yesterday my LO with stage 4-5 received a late payment bill and spent 3 hours going through his papers and swearing he paid the bill even when there had been no check written or recorded. I have taken over ALL the bills except that one😝it was 3 hours of cussing, going back and forth to the mailbox. Finally at 10 PM…
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When do you know it's time for a facility?
Hello. My name is Maria and I'm new to this forum. My mother will be 83 in July and is still living independently in a 2 story townhome with laundry in the basement. She has a companion that comes from 11:30 - 4:30 on weekdays. My sister and I spend time with her every Wednesday evening and on weekends when we can. We are…
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End of life?
Me and my brother are both helping to care for my grandad, my nan too and he has carers come in multiple times a day because it's a lot for us to deal with. He's recently stopped breathing, or struggled breathing every day for the last 7-10 days. Breaths every 30-40 seconds and in a lot of pain, he's had care come out for…
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Just need to talk to my friends (203)
It has been a beautiful day, sunny and 75. Meant to check on the daffodils but forgot. The ones I can see from the kitchen window look okay! QVC has started their gardening shows so Spring is near. They had the perennial Gerbera daisies again today. So pretty. I bought them two years ago and had one bloom and they didn't…
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Hiw many spouses sleep in another room?
My DH gets extremely anxious and agitated, sundowning is in full effect at our house. My husband is up and down all night long. Good nights 15x, many nights 25+. I can't take care of him if I'm not getting any sleep. Dr tried respiridine and trazadine but they decreased his BP to critical levels, 70/50. Off those meds, BP…
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Just need to vent : Last Days of Gene Hackman: ABC News Special
It is obvious that his spouse went to great length to protect his medical privacy and it was something she was quite successful at. I have great admiration for what she was able to accomplish. Protecting the dignity of my DW is priority #3 after her health and safety. It is not an easy thing to do. Now her reward for…
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helping my brother with short term memory loss as his guardian
I am at a loss. My brother lost his wife and continued to drink heavily. Became real sick and ended up with dementia/short term memory loss. He was able to gain a little back but I don't know what to do. I took him away from his home because there was no one there to care for him when he left the hospital. My husband I…
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The realities of paying for M/C
I'm wanting to hear from those of you who have been down this road and are ahead of me on this journey. We are still maintaining at home for now. I would like to keep him home as long as he isn't violent or wandering but I a realist and know I need to have a back up plan. We aren't rich but both have pensions and SS. The…
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Navigating Alzheimer’s Risk While Caring for Both Kids & a Parent—How Are You Coping?
Hi everyone, I’m in my 40s, raising kids, and also caring for a parent with Alzheimer’s. My mom has APOE4 x2. Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what this means for my own future—both emotionally and proactively. I recently started looking into early detection tests, including: • APOE4 genetic testing • Blood biomarker…
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Best music players for people with mid stage dementia
I would like to get my mom some type of device where she could listen to music in her room in the long term care facility. She is in stage 4 of dementia and can operate her phone and other simple devices. I’m not sure what type of device would work best. A radio or some type of streaming device which someone could set up…
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Cost of Memory Care
I read yesterday that Memory Care is $115,000 a year. How can anyone afford that??!! and what are the alternatives?
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When to move to memory care
My wife periodically thinks I am her father from time to time. We can go days between the episodes, which can last until bedtime. Then she will wake up fine. My concern is that she will still recognize me from time to time after I move her. I will be absolutely heartbroken that I abandoned her. She does not wander, so I am…
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Vacation
My husband has moderate vd dementia. Prior to this dx, we bought a timeshare that I am still paying on. The idea of not being able to travel and use that is awful to me. I still work full time and have a companion with him most of the day. Our last vacation was when I saw a huge difference in him and he "lost" the memory…
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Retired military or spouse with Tricare
This is new coverage for members with Tricare insurance. For up to the next five years, TRICARE will cover Food and Drug Administration (FDA)-approved monoclonal antibodies (MABs) lecanemab (brand name Leqembi) and donanemab (brand name Kisunla), for the treatment of Alzheimer’s disease in patients with mild cognitive…
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There goes my hero ..... 😢
Hello and thank you for reading this, I'm sorry for such a long-winded post I had a longer message written up. However, I didn't know if anyone would read it. I don't have anyone in my life who has had any first-hand experience with Alzheimer's to ask any of these questions and I'm having a difficult time dealing with…
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Does It Matter?
My mom has been living at a Memory Care Facility for a little over a year (but has had dementia for approximately 8 years) and while she still knows people that have been in her life for a long time, she essentially has no short term memory and is "stuck" where she was about 8 years ago (living in the same house, my dad…
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Unusual Walk
We go for a mile walk every day weather permitting. Of late my LV who is 74 yrs old and physically very fit , has been walking “strange” of late. I am afraid she will trip and fall. Anybody experienced this ?
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Feeling So Sad 11
Please don’t laugh 🤣 I sat on my phone and cut off my sadness post. Maybe that was a good thing it was enough to break my melancholy. I feel better but it happens quite a bit. My DH often asks who am I? Where do I sleep? Do I have a brother? etc mostly I just happily move on but it got to me today and I felt so very sad.…
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Do we tell mom we're going to be selling her house?
My sister and I moved mom into an assisted living/memory care facility last August and we are now needing to sell her house to help pay for her care. She is probably in middle stages, but it's hard to pin down as I don't think it's straight up Alzheimer's, but more likely mini strokes. She has lots of confusion,…
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6th infusion
Today was # six Leqembi infusion. So far so good! Although I do have a headache and feel exhausted. I'm scheduled for a second MRI this Friday. My husband keeps reassuring me I'm doing so good and how strong I am, but I don't feel strong. I guess I'm just having a bad day. (pity party for one) anyone else out there…
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Advice on Phone / Internet Access
Hi all. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s over a year ago and has been getting worse. She’s unfortunately extremely vulnerable to scammers online and has fallen victim to gift card fraud scams to the tune of 13,000 dollars since last July. We’ve had to take away her devices to prevent further contact with them. She…
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What were your first symptoms?
I am curious what the early symptoms those here experienced? Long-term or short-term memory loss? decrease in ability to focus? Any other mental symptoms? Any physical symptoms? Were the symptoms constant? or episodic/occasional? I have had episodes of extreme foggy-brainess over the past 5 years along with a loss of…
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From Maybe to Reality 3
Family had a big birthday party for DH (ALZ). I was afraid that it would be too much for him but he had the time of his life and at age 90, he danced every dance. The only think that I noticed was when 2 of the grandsons came over to the house before the party and spent time alone with him. He was telling some of his life…
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Advice welcome
It has been 2 years that I moved to a new apartment to take in my 83 yer old Mom. Of course it is challenging, as I also work from home. This is my first time posting, so forgive me, but any tips on the following are appreciated: Getting her to eat better and finish food (I do make sure she has at least 1 Ensure Max…
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Stuck & Need Advice
First Post - seeking advice after a LONG road to present day. Mom first presented concerns 10 years ago but masked symptoms until my sister & I stepped in 4.5 years ago. After going back and forth with her neurologist, we decided to find a new one in a different hospital system local to us. To our relief, in the very first…
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nonstop questions
Hi, I'm new here. Mom is in midstage of Alz, living with my DH and me for 6 weeks now. Doing okay with everything so far but the questions (every minute or so for a good part of the day) are wearing on us. They don't vary much and writing down the answers for her doesn't seem to help for long. She usually finds something…