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Dealing with my feelings of resentment
I'm married to a man who was verbally abusive to me during the first 10-15 years of our marriage. When I tried to leave, he begged me to stay. I regret staying, expecially because of my children. We've now been married 40 years and we really don't have what I would call a close relationship. I had to pull away when he was…
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Created something that helps my dad with dementia — looking for thoughts
Hi everyone — I’m new here and a caregiver for my father who’s been living with dementia for several years. Over the past year, I’ve been building something to help with his toughest moments — especially confusion at night, repetitive questions, and boredom during the day. I created Luka Bear — a soft, AI-powered plush…
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Joining with a thank you
Hello, After a few months of reading and searching this site, I have decided to join to thank those who have posted advice. You have been a lifeline, and I hope that my experiences can be helpful to others here. DH (77) was fully independent, driving, paying his own bills, and living a good life a year ago. Looking back, I…
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Stage 7a- need to know if possible to keep them home
My 78 DH has Aliz and dx 2017 MC, he is progressing has anyone kept their LO home until the end. He is still going to day care 3 days a week ,will be 2 years in Oct. When is Hospice available ? I have been doing everything myself, he has had no showers since Jan but he lets me wash him . Bladder incontinent some BM ,…
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I am forgetting, too
I usually am very organized, but with the stress of a DH with dementia, I am forgetting appts, lose things, and run around and getting nothing done. I know it is because of the caretaking, and am the ONLY caretaker because family has turned away from us because they just don't want to deal with this private hell
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Hoping he will forget me
Wondering if my DH forgets me, will things be better? It’s an awful thing to say, I know especially with all our circumstances. But, I’m faltering, fading and losing all hope. From the moment he sees me in the morning till bedtime, he insults me. I fix all 3 meals from scratch and the moment the food is put in front of…
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Moving Mom to Memory Care - Questions
Moving day is set for Wednesday. Mom's memory care room is pretty similar to her bedroom in her AL apartment, and the furniture could be arranged in a similar configuration. The "story" we are using to get her into MC is that she is going to stay in "PT rehab" for a few weeks. She adores her AL apartment with "all her…
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Just need to talk to my friends (209)
We just had a nice shower, just before my groceries were delivered. Still sprinkling a little and it's nice and cool. Wonderful weather for the first day of August. Another six weeks and our hot summer will be getting cooler. I'm ready. Need to finish putting away the groceries but wanted to get 209 started. Back later.
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Is it my imagination?
Does it /did it ever seem to feel like, look like the PWD was almost your imagination? The cycles, the moods, the feeling that the old DH is back? (I'm still pretty new to this journey.)
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Deaf Only Child, Struggles with guidance..
hello amazing caregivers, This may be a long post, which I am typing as I think and go. Please bear with me as I do so. mum was DX with vascular dementia on Presidents’ Day this year. Hubs and I suspected it longer than that, as she is stubborn to seek medical help. This is a tough situation and subject to share. Mum…
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combative at night
Hi, I'm new to this group. We have no diagnosis but I am starting to wonder what is going on. My husband is a different person at night, usually after 10 pm He becomes defiant, combative, and says things that are just typical of his normal behavior. Is this Sundowning? Thanks
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Lost Keys
Where does everyone store their extra keys? I’m trying to figure out a place where my husband can’t access it. My husband lost a key to our back room. In looking for the lost key he went through the box where we keep our spare keys. He didn’t know what the keys were for, even though they were marked, so he threw most of…
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How do you assess your spouse
My Dh is c/o light headless and chest discomfort. Im retired nurse so I've done all the steps. BP is fine heartrate is fine no further symptoms. Up walking around like nothing wrong. Was at er last week for back pain. Found nothing that would cause it. Given his meds for BP baby aspirin. Will cont to monitor him,but it…
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Time to move Mom
I am new here. My sister and I have been dealing with my mom's Alzheimer's for about 2 years now. We have tried to get both parents to move to assisted living with zero success. They are both incredibly stubborn. To make an all too familiar long story short, it is time for mom to go into Memory Care. Any advice to making…
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She is gone
My lovely, wonderful, brilliant, public spirited wife died yesterday. She was 73. and had had Alzheimer's for 15 years. I described our journey in these pages and the end was peaceful. I held her hand as her breathing went shallower and shallower and finally stopped . Our two daughters were with us. She was as lovely as…
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Dementia Friendsgiving
This looks like a good event (via Michael Ellenbogen): Save the Date for Dementia Friendsgiving! Save November 18, 11:00 AM–3:00 PM ET for Dementia Friendly America’s inaugural Dementia Friendsgiving! We’re giving thanks for people and organizations from every corner of the dementia-friendly movement. Sign up to find out…
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Rivastigmine???
My DH used to be on donepezil but the neurologist took him off of it because he also takes escitolopram for depression. He put him on rivastigmine instead because of concerns about interactions of the drugs. Just the other day, he doubled the rivastigmine dose to 3 mg (from 1.5) as my DH has been having hallucinations and…
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Medication depression or anxiety
has your doctor prescribed medication for anxiety that is worth the side effects- I have been experiencing really bad anxiety particularly when it comes to bedtime was wondering if others have similar experiences and any solutions
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Selling the House DH doesn't understand
I have power of attorney Can I sell the house without him and use my power of attorney to do so. Also how can I get him into a memory home if he won't go. His outbursts and violence are getting out of my control al
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I can’t help this pain I feel
I miss my husband and he’s laying right next to me. About 6 months ago, my husband started forgetting we were married about once a week. Then about 3 months ago he started telling me he doesn’t want to be involved with anyone about once every 1-2 weeks. It doesn’t usually last long but every time I wonder if it will last…
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Feeling Low
I have been feeling so low today. Usually I’m on top of things, we do all sorts of wonderful things to stop the sads rushing in but today I realised how silent I have become. DH has VD and aphasia, word salad is now the norm day and night, sounds and hand signals too. If I am in the garden and he wants me he lets out a…
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Mother won't stop walking
Hi, a week ago my mother began walking non stop. She sits or gets in bed and is up in a minute. One day she walked for 22 hours straight, no sleep. She is 101! I am exhausted. Has anyone experienced this and any ideas on what to do? p.s. the drs. prescribed Haldol, Lorazepam, Seroquel, Doxepin and nothing worked
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Eliquis questions
My mom,who recently fell, is in physical therapy and occupational rehab hospital right now. She is scheduled to probably be released in a few weeks, and she may or may not be walking on her own by then. I had reported the fall to her heart doctor because she also is on again off again in A-fib and has been for a very long…
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When is it time?
my DH is 56 years old and has FTD and is now losing his memory and he has no real speech or comprehension. I’ve already spoken with the family ahead of time that I know I am not special enough to be able handle things when we get to the later stages. My question is, how did everyone else decide when it was time for MC? How…
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Caregiver who is a nurse
Hi, This is my first post. My mom has dementia that has progressed to moderate. She is very stubborn and becomes belligerent if she does not get her way. She does not realize that she has memory issues and doesn’t understand why we are not allowing her to be alone. She is refusing to shower because she thinks she showers…
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Becoming a personal care surrogate
Hi! I am brand new to this group and so appreciate the networking with others who are navigating the care of a parent with Alzheimer’s. I’ve been trying to be proactive about this. My brother and I hired an elder law attorney. We established power of attorney for my brother and Healthcare proxy for both. He and I work…
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Leqembi Feedback
Recently diagnosed with Alzheimers. Have just been approved to begin Leqembi infusions and will start within next week or two. Would love to hear feedback from those on this therapy. Thanks!
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Ultimate Answer
We discuss and share our lives and living with a LO with dementia But the ultimate answer is our relationship with God and to pray and give all your troubles to Him Only then will we see his answers and not ours
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Clothing and hygiene matters.
My DW of 48 years no longer cares about how she dresses and more often than not believes she has showered, brushed her teeth and is ready for the day. If I mention that her blouse is inside out or pants are on backward she gets upset at me and says "no-one but you will notice". When I mention showering or teeth brushing…
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Auditory Hallucinations
My DH has been having memory issues about 3 years now. He is definitely in mid stage of this disease. I noticed about a month ago he seems to be having auditory hallucinations. He would ask me to repeat what I had just said to him when I had not said anything. He is 63 yo and i will be 62 yo tomorrow. I still work full…