LO didn't recognize me.

LaurenB

Today was the first time that my mom didn't recognize me.  After a few seconds she knew who I was.  Later she told me that she didn't recognize her husband or have any memory of being married to him for 20 years.  Several hours later I asked if she knew who I was and she said that she did, but that I looked older than she expected.  I video chat with her 2x a day every day.  Even though I think that I look great for my age (40's), I clearly don't look like a 20 something year old   I knew this day was coming, but still it hurts.

Fitzpal

I find this disease process incredibly painful, we truly lose a part of our loved one on a daily basis. I remember the first time my mom started telling me about her daughter- I said I am your daughter. We both cried that day.

Arrowhead

Several times a day I say to my wife that she is my wonderful wife. Sometimes she says that she knows, but I doubt that she does.

lovebonita

This struck me in the feels today because this happened just this week with my Mom.  She kept asking when Jenny was coming to pick her up which made me realize she had no idea who I was as I am indeed Jenny.

I am also noticing a increased attachment to her daily caretakers, which I know is good but as compared to me it just seems like she is becoming more trusting and attached to them vs. me.  I hope this means she will have an easier time adjusting to care in a home once she is placed and can learn to trust and form bonds with caretakers going forward.  She is currently on a waiting list for a local facility and as hard as it is to admit we are at this stage I know we are and I should be happy she can form trusting relationships with others as more of that will come once in the facility.

It's just hard, I have been her number one person for a long long time and all of a sudden I realize that is shifting away as the disease progresses. I hate this disease.  

I think this is one of the most painful things to experience, when a parent no longer recognizes us as their child.  I am sorry we are all in this boat together.  XOXO 

JudyMorrowMaloney

HAlf the time my DH thinks I'm his sister. We don't look anything alike.

King Boo

Lauren, that's so hard.  Try to stay calm, give the big smile that seems like it is going to break your heart, and just say "I'm Lauren, I'm going to visit with you for a while!'  Sometimes it will then click, sometimes it won't.  Or it may click halfway through a visit, and you may get a huge smile, precious, when she remembers you - even if it is only for a moment.

Suzzin

I always start our calls with "hi mom, it's Suzzin", and when I see her in person I very quickly call her mom. She usually knows who I am, but she also thinks I have "a friend" who has taken her car, or is getting a haircut, or doing whatever it is that I have actually done. I was there the other day when, for a minute or so, she didn't recognize my dad, and that really shook him. She didn't realize it, of course, so she's not upset by it.

Dussing

I totally understand your pain - it's so difficult to see the person we love fade away.  I moved my Mum in with me 7 months ago, she still has difficulty recognising me from one of the caregivers, and wanting to go "home".  Be with her, roll with her, love with her - she can 't help her situation.  She still loves you deep in her heart - tell her you love her daily, she will indeed respond even if she can't recognise you.  You are doing a wonderful service to her - love conquers all!

LaurenB

Thanks guys! I do try to lead with "Hi Mom!  It's Lauren."  Sometimes I throw in "you know, your favorite daughter." for good measure.  (I'm her only daughter).

ADH77

Gosh, I'm sorry. That's really hard. I am in anticipation that this day will come soon for me too. When I call my mom, she still recognizes my voice and remembers me as her child. But she has lost all other knowledge of my life: where I live, what I do, my husband, my friends--basically she only knows it's me and really nothing else about who I am as a person. Because of the pandemic, I haven't been able to see my mom for quite some time. I am wondering that when I can finally travel to see her, that she may not recognize me in person, since she may be envisioning a teenager/early 20s something, when I am a 44 year old. I actually think she could confuse me for my father, since I look a lot like he did in his 40s, and I've heard that's common.