My DH diagnosed with Alzheimer's this week.

jane8851

I knew he had some kind of dementia but he refused to go to the doctor. Finally got him to go to a neurologist last week. He was diagnosed with mid moderate Alzheimer's. My husband took the diagnosis well and is happy that he now knows what is wrong with him but he keeps asking me "What is Alzheimer's?" I explain it to him gently and he still asks me over and over. His mood is improved since the diagnosis from being angry and verbally abusive to being happy . Doc put him on Prozac and Quetiapiine. We'll see how it goes, one day at a time.

Joe C.

Jane, Welcome but sorry you needed to seek out our community. There are many great people here with lots of experience they are willing to share. Advice that is always given to new members is to see a Certified Elder Law Attorney (CELA) as soon as you possibly can. You will need to get your legal & financial house in order and putting this off can have devastating impacts down the road. Even if you have Durable Power of Attorney, Healthcare Proxies, wills and/or trust in place these documents may need to be updated given the new reality.  It is also important that you use a CELA and not just an attorney that you have used in the past. Put this at the top of your list. I also recommend that you find a caregiver support group in your area which you can search for on the AA main page. People in these groups will have more insight into resources in your area. All the best.

Ed1937

Welcome to the forum. Sorry you need to be here. But Joe has given you some excellent advice. Don't delay seeing a CELA (certified elder law attorney). If you delay too long, you will surely be sorry.

jane8851

My husbands neurologist is head of the Alzheimer's Center of Albany Medical Center NY. At our first appointment they assigned us a social worker and gave us the name of an elder law attorney that they recommend. I'll call the attorney on Tuesday. Thanks for the welcome and the good advice.

Quilting brings calm

Keep the neurologist..: they know how to help.

Doityourselfer

Sounds like you're in good hands with Albany Medical Center Neurology.  My husband's neurologist is part of the AMC group.

piozam13

Jane, when DH was first diagnosed, the neurologist/psychiatrist said - 'not too bad' to him.  But to me, she said, you'll need a lot of patience, tons of it'.    This forum helped me a lot - anticipating and coping with everyday grind.

jane8851

Doitourselfer, I hope we meet in a local AMC support group for Alzheimer's. Right now they're all online due to covid.

Rainbow65

My husband was diagnosed with young onset Alzheimer’s Disease in March 2021. We have two teenage sons, ages 16 and 15, who are currently unaware of his diagnosis. Our older son had issues with anxiety and substance abuse, and is currently living out of state in a residential treatment center where he gets therapy and academic support. Our younger son is doing well academically but has lost social contact during Covid and now spends all his free time gaming on the computer. I am now the sole wage earner, paying for the therapeutic care of one son and the costs of a quality private high school for our younger son. We have no close family nearby. I found a potential clinical trial for my husband that we are exploring.

Sometimes I feel like I’m coping ok, but then there are times when I just start crying over little things. The enormity of my responsibility gets overwhelming at times. I often loose my patience. I grieve a lost future. I fear the impact on our children. I try to enjoy the moment and take it one day at a time, but sometimes it feels like the walls are caving in on me.

Husband does not want to reveal his diagnosis to the boys right now and I want to spare my children some pain. Our son in therapy is doing well but will need to transition to therapeutic boarding school soon. I don’t want his dad’s diagnosis to impact his progress or decision making right now. Younger son who lives with us at home will eventually feel a bigger daily impact of the disease.

Husband has been driving younger son to school, but today he lost his keys.

I pray for guidance. I pray for clinical research. I pray for hope.

Sometimes my heart just breaks.

Crushed

Rainbow65 wrote:

My husband was diagnosed with young onset Alzheimer’s Disease in March 2021.

Please tell me you have filed for Social security disability!!!  do not wait there are strict time limits.People lose there jobs due to dementia and don't file since they deny they have anything wrong adn time limits are missed.

"Thankfully, since 2010 Social Security has helped by adding Alzheimer’s disease to its Compassionate Allowances Initiative. The initiative identifies debilitating diseases and medical conditions so severe they obviously meet Social Security’s disability standards. Compassionate Allowances allow for faster payment of Social Security benefits to individuals with Alzheimer’s disease, mixed-dementia and Primary Progressive Aphasia."

https://blog.ssa.gov/relief-for-thousands-suffering-from-alzheimers-disease/

ARgirl

Rainbow65,

My husband was diagnosed with familial early onset Alzheimer's. We are in year 10 now. My children were 18 and 22 at the time, so a bit older than yours. We quickly moved to get Social Security Disability with the compassionate diagnosis list as mentioned.  It moved smoothly and quickly. as well as employer disability benefits.  

I will say from past experience, my husband's company would not ALLOW him to work unless he could perform at 100%, which was not occurring with this diagnosis. His impeccable work was already suffering and sadly, there were no accommodations for his deficits, even though he begged to continue working.  It was heart breaking, but I understood their position.

It is a journey unfortunately with level areas of functioning, then as I call it, they fall off a cliff. Driving stopped about year 4-5.  He handed me the keys after he got lost with my daughter.

This forum will offer support and advice, and often times just being with those facing the same challenges helps.  A Certified Elder Law Attorney is a must, particularly early in the disease. 

Hope and support for you, and your children.

ARgirl

Jane8851,

I am sorry for your husband's diagnosis and the journey you now begin. It is heartbreaking, and many times overwhelming.  

I agree with recommendation to get a certified elder law attorney now, and get all POA, wills, etc. in place immediately.  

My prayers for you as a caregiver, about the most difficult job I have ever assumed!