Hasn't happened before

N00dles

I am visiting my parents for an extended, 3 week, period. 

My DF, who has middle stage (MS abbreviation?) AD, seems like he is getting a little worse. 

His short term memory is basically gone; repeats constantly,  loses items.

He doesn't seem content when we've just done something,  like go out somewhere or play cards, he doesn't remember and asks 'What do you want to do?'

Today at lunch, for the first time, he basically accused my DM of something. 

A good friend of *theirs*, offers when he goes to the grocery store to pick up items for them also. He does this for some other friends as well. Late morning he stopped by with the half dozen items. He stayed and talked, with both of them, for a little bit. I started fixing lunch so they could visit. After he left, My mom and I finished preparing lunch. During lunch he asked a few times why *** had come over. She explained about groceries. He got a look on his face, a smirk, and said he thought ***had come to talk to Mom only, and that he 'comes over pretty regularly'. We both just looked at each other. This kind man, who has stayed Dad's friend during these years following his heart surgery and subsequent Alz Dx, has done nothing improper. 

I am mad at him, and sad for my mother, but I know he probably won't remember saying it, and he seems fine now.

I hate this disease. 

End-of-rope

Delusions of jealousy and accusations of improper behavior of a partner are rather common in Alz.  My mom got them really bad about her husband and the home aid.  Agitation, screams, things thrown around the house, demands to get rid of the home aid (referred to by very ugly names) that was "coming at night to have sex with her husband in the living room" where daily occurrences.  I've had to listen to very explicit descriptions of sexual behavior that I didn't even know my mom knew about, considering she was always very prude.  There was no way to convince her that those were delusions and were just in her head.  This happened before I learned you can't make a PWD reason and only agitate them more if you try.

Don't get mad at your dad.  It's the illness.  Just prepare yourself and your mom, and maybe your kind friend, and try not to take it personal.  They can't help the delusions.

Stuck in the middle

Mental illness is terrible, especially dementia.  At the end, the sufferers are living in a strange place surrounded by strangers (even if in their own home with family), some of whom undress them and bathe them.  If a late stage PWD has a potentially fatal illness, it might be kind to withhold treatment.

N00dles

Thank you for your input.

abc123

Hi Noodles. I’m glad you get to spend this time with them. You will never regret it. I do hope your dad calms down with the accusations. I hate this disease.