how do you get them to take meds when they don't want to

friend in need

new member - LO has no children, no siblings near by ,no buddies;  we are not married.  I think he is level 4 out of 7 and in total denial.  Have been referred to a neurologist twice and both have said don't come back, as he is totally uncooperative.  He doesn't like anyone telling him what to do - not going to get POA on healthcare or financial.  He does like his GP.  He is moody, nasty, agitated, and then, forgets all that.  If I am not here, he likely will not take meds, even with written reminder, or eat good foods, even if available.  Don't think he is going to be open to in home health care.  I think he suffers from depression.  Doesn't like to be with my family much, and that very important to me.  Big groups, no good.  I really feel like walking away some days but would be guilty about that.  I do give myself one night away but when I return, again, pills not taken and decent food not eaten.  guess one day should not be a problem.  I feel this is just not my problem, my priority is staying healthy for my own family and to watch out for him, but it is so frustrating

Tdrinker46

You most of all need to take care of yourself.  If there is no one but you to care for him, you should contact your local Alzheimer’s Association.  They will be able to advise you about elder care options for him (it sounds like he is unable to care for himself) in your area.  I have contacted our county commission on aging for help and support.  His dementia is adding another dimension to his already grouchy self.  You should not feel guilty if you decide to take care of yourself and move on.  Our healthy life is short we need to be as active, happy, and fulfilled as possible.  Your family needs you, too.  I will be thinking of you.

sandwichone123

Friend, I'm wondering what *his* goals are. There are lots of times we think the #1 goal is to keep the body alive as long as possible, but some people don't want to buy a long life "living like that," whatever that means to them. Some people think letting Alzheimer's run its course is the worst of all possible worlds, and I'm wondering if your friend is among them.

Iris L.

friend in need wrote:

.  I think he is level 4 out of 7 and in total denial.  

 This is anosognosia.  I'm shocked that two neurologists stopped at saying he was uncooperative.  Many PWDs are uncooperative.  That's why one has to learn how to communicate and work with them.  

Anosognosia is a characteristic of dementia that causes the PWD (person with dementia) to be unaware of having dementia.  He truly believes he is fine.  If you try to convince him otherwise, he will resist and become upset.  The family and concerned friends have to learn to use work-arounds to get things accomplished.  

If he has no one to step up legally,  and it is determined that he cannot take care of himself, he may be appointed a public guardian.  Or he may fall through the cracks.

Iris L.