My wife won't accept care from me or home care women.

Bitman70

Lexapro quit working. Tried Seroquil, it kept her up all night.

She's in severe Alzheimer's stage. 70 years old. She still walks fine, but hard to get her out of bed, and get her to eat and drink liquids.

Friends and family members can cheer her up and get her motivated, but there are only a handful of people that are willing,  Have home care here 6 days a week, but they haven't been able to help much starting last month. 

 I had written a half hour summary of our journey, but when I went to post it, there was a problem, and it was all lost.  So this is the brief version.

Ed1937

Bitman, welcome to the forum. Sorry you are going through this. About the only thing I can say is that you need to talk to the doctor about this. Is it possible she has a UTI without the typical symptoms? 

Bitman70 wrote:

 I had written a half hour summary of our journey, but when I went to post it, there was a problem, and it was all lost. 

The software we're using here leaves a lot to be desired. You might think you are logged in, but all of a sudden you are not, and you won't know it until something like what you described happens. This is not something that happens all the time, but it's annoying when it does happen. Whenever you write a very long post, it might help if you copy it before trying to post it, just in case you got logged out. Then if you were, you can log in, and paste it in a new post.

Bitman70

Thanks for the reply!  She was checked for UTI back in mid June...negative.

After talking to the doctor Wednesday, we decided to check for UTI again... urinalysis yesterday. No results yet.  The medical community here doesn't provide much help for dementia behavior issues. "you can try this...good luck".

I did copy the message before I posted, but after I logged back in, there was nothing there to paste.

Bitman70

It is so heart breaking to me when she shuts me out, says she hates me, that I'm horrible, and calls me other names. Yells at me to get out and leave her alone. I did everything for her for over 4 years before this happened.  I pray to God everyday that she will cooperate, and I'm thankful for the times when she allows me to take care of her needs.  But those times are becoming rare now.

Battlebuddy

  I am exactly where you are right now. It’s so difficult when they won’t let you help them and they need help so badly . We are working on a cocktail of drugs at different amounts. Ativan is the thing that makes him more compliant but there are things that he wont let me do and he is going to suffer because of it. 

  My heart goes out to you . I never would have thought my sweet husband would turn this way but there we are. If it helps you to know others are experiencing the same thing we are. I always thought my presence would bring him comfort but it makes him more agitated. When he tells me to get out I do. Sad

Bitman70

I does help to know you're not alone, cause that's how it feels a lot of the time. Thanks for the response.

My son, daughter in law, and 4 grand kids came over this morning for a few hours.  When the the grand kids came in her room, she had the biggest smile I've seen on her in weeks. She was so happy. She got up went out into the family room, ate a good breakfast, drank a big glass of apple juice, ate her yogurt (with crushed pills), and then had a good BM (it had been over 4 days). Everything I agonize over daily was accomplished like a Mary Poppins snap of the fingers. My 13 year old grand daughter was helping and encouraging her all the way. I was just observing in the background so I wouldn't antagonize her.

They're gone now, and she's back in bed. I'm going to have to see if I can get her to drink some more fluid sometime today.  She's only had about 16 oz total.

Pathfinder52

DH's issues (of attitude and obstinance) were not exactly the same but, in our case medication really helped. DH had been on an antidepressant and I convinced his provider to increase the dose (doubled it) which helped him get over the hurdle of seeing me as the largest problem in his life.  I'd encourage an evaluation for medication change/up-grade.

Wishing you all the best,

--p