I'm so tired(1)

JoseyWales

DH isn't sleeping more than a few hours at a time. He wanders the house for hours in the middle of the night. I lay in bed only 1/2 asleep, so I can hear where he is. 

I feel so bad for those of you who have been doing this for years, and cleaning up messes and changing sheets in the middle of the night. It's only been a few months for me, and I can barely think through my brain fog. 

Any suggestions? Not melatonin - it didn't work. Not CBD - it didn't work. 

Don't suggest prescription medication - we've tried several different ones and now his doctor has said he won't help any more, and DH needs to go to a psychologist, but won't refer because I'm looking into placement. Even if he did refer, I'm sure it would be weeks before I could get an appointment.

June45

No suggestions Josey, but I so get it!!  I am also one of the sleep deprived caregivers.  I have to get up with my husband when he gets up in the middle of the night because he is a fall risk so I have an alarm when he gets out of bed.  Last night I was up 3x; I have not been a very pleasant caregiver today. At least I don't have to go to a job,  but I think you said that you have to go to work.  That is double rough; you have my sympathy!

jfkoc

Lack of sleep is a real game changer.

I took Valerian as suggested by my husband's cardiologist. First the under the tongue....bad taste...then the capsules. It is OTC.

It took a while for it to get into my system. I would certainly think about it for your husband.

Ed1937

Josey, like June, no suggestions. I also get up with my wife whenever she gets up. She's also a fall risk. But what you're dealing with is a whole different ballgame. I don't know how you can do it, and I don't think you can for very long. Hopefully you will find something that will work. You need sleep. Wish I could say something more positive.

Stuck in the middle

A psychologist can't help.  They can only help people who can think, and your LO can't.  I see no alternative to placement.

Sorry this happened to you.

harshedbuzz

JoseyWales-

This sounds really difficult. This is part of why we placed my dad; his disrupted sleep was killing my mother.

Can you see a geriatric psychiatrist without a referral? This is the best medical specialist for managing psychoactive medications which is something of a dark art. A psychologist isn't an MD; PCPs and even most neurologists are not nearly as experienced with these kinds of problems.

I know you are seeking placement, but when we had decided to place dad we made one last visit to his awesome geripsych who made sure he was in a good place with meds in order to make the transition in as good shape emotionally as possible. If you don't have a recommendation, the MCF you choose likely has someone they can recommend. 

HB

French

Josey, I can’t imagine how you can teach after such nights. I remember, more than two years ago, I had very short nights because of the stress. It was 5 hours nights and I was so tired.

For me plants are working well, but I am very sensitive to everything. When I had to take Zyrtec because of allergies, I was sleeping everywhere : on my office desk, during meetings, watching an exam, before the plane take off…

Other ideas : a boring movie (when I was a child my mother always had a nap with the same radio broadcast, because the speaker voice was helping her to sleep),  animals documentary , tv without the sound, a bath before going to bed, some essential oils

I know that this is not very satisfactory. If only we could use the hammer they had in cartoons… or  à magic wand to petrify them. I would use it when he is pacing. 

June45

French wrote:

 If only we could use the hammer they had in cartoons… or  à magic wand to petrify them. I would use it when he is pacing. 

You made this tired weary caregiver smile.

Stuck in the middle

my geometry teacher missed her calling.  Our class was in an overheated room right after lunch, and she had the most monotonous voice I ever heard.  Passing that class was very difficult.  She should have recorded her lectures for sale to insomniacs.

JoseyWales

Brain fog - I meant psychiatrist, not psychologist. Oops.

Thanks for all the support and ideas. Jfkoc - I'll look into Valerian. 

I have some nyquil. I might resort to having him take that tonight if he's still not sleeping. I know that it's not good for those with dementia, but I'm getting desperate. 

It seems there are no geripsychs in my area. But like I said, placement will probably take place within the month and I doubt we'd get an appointment before then.

Again - thanks all. I know I come here when I'm desperate, it's not always as bad as I make it out to be. Well, it's bad. But not 100% of the time. 

Stuck in the middle

The maker of Nyquil makes a sleep aid called Zquil.  So many people use Nyquil for sleep, they brought out the sleep aid.  I haven't tried it but a friend swears by it.

Quilting brings calm

== I have some nyquil. I might resort to having him take that tonight if he's still not sleeping. I know that it's not good for those with dementia, but I'm getting desperate. ==

You have to do what is needed for you to survive and keep your job. He’s already to the point that you need to place him.  Do not feel guilty about helping him, and therefore you, get some sleep.  Going without sleep isn’t good for for people with dementia either. 

slippednfell

I'm very new to this and I am sorry you are going through this.

While my DH can't stay awake, he jerks, twitches, and talks in his sleep.  He isn't getting deep sleep IMHO.  He is taking melatonin before bed and that wasn't quite enough so I broke down and bought some Z-Quil and I think it might be helping.  I saw that someone else mentioned it.  It says that it is non-habit forming so it may be worth a try.

I'm sure you probably are, but I would watch caffeine intake or other stimulants.  It may be that a prescribed drug he is on has a stimulating effect on him.  You may want to check into that and ask the doctor if it is something that can be taken in the morning instead of at night.

I hope you find something that does work so you can get the rest you need.

ETA:  I only give him one tablets, which is half the directed dose of the Z-Quil.

ETA:  Someone here mentioned a warm bath, which is an excellent idea.  I wanted to add that Lavendar is supposed to be very calming and helps people sleep.  It is worth a try and can't hurt.  Maybe some Lavendar body soap.  There are a few herbal teas made to calm... again, can't hurt to try.

harshedbuzz

Just an FYI- ZzzQuil has the same active ingredient, diphenhyramine as Benedryl. Pure ZzzQuil is melatonin gummies. 


Common anticholinergic drugs like Benadryl linked to increased dementia risk - Harvard Health

JoseyWales

NINE HOURS!!!!  I GOT NINE HOURS OF SLEEP!!!!!!

I can't believe how much better I feel at this moment.

DH has always had trouble falling asleep, even years before his diagnosis. I gave him his usual evening medicine. I helped him take a shower. He was tired. He was yawning. It was 8:30. I tried to get him to sit and watch a quiet nature show on tv. No go. He began wandering the house. I turned down the lights, tried to get him in bed, he'd pop back up. And circle the house.  At 10:15 he finally sat on the couch and seemed to fall asleep. I went to bed. At 10:45 I woke because I heard him walking again. I tried to give him the Nyquill (I'm going to look for ZZquill, forgot they make that), but he couldn't/wouldn't drink it. His head was drooping and no matter how hard I tried to get him to drink it, he wouldn't. 

This is where I cried. I admit, I broke down. Laid in the bed and cried and cried. 

DH asked if he did something wrong. I answered with yes, you need to sleep! Lay down in the bed. And he began his walking again.

I cried myself out, gathered myself together, and tried to get him in bed again. By 11:30 I had him in bed. He fell asleep in about 2 minutes. And then didn't wake up again until almost 8:30!  This is the first time in several weeks he's slept for more than 4 or 5 hours.

DrinaJGB

My DH's viral encephalitis affected the sleep area of the brain among other areas. The first year home after 4 months in hospitals were an absolute nightmare. Besides bizarre behaviors form the damage he would not sleep at night and would hallucinate and yell. ALL.NIGHT. LONG.

I though we might both die form sleep deprivation. It made me crazy at times. He would nod off during the day and takes naps, but I had to get on with the day, but I was a zombie. It was a type of torture and something I hope to never have to endure again.

  Over the years he has slowly gotten better. I recently read a research done in Tokyo on the memory enhancing effects of Melatonin which also helps to aid in sleep. It is produced by the brain's pineal gland which drops off as we age. Since I started giving it to him every evening he has been able to sleep for longer periods.

FYI--Anything with benadryl in it is not good for the elderly as it affects cognitive functioning. Read all OTC labels and leave the ones containing diphenhydramine on the shelf.

Good luck to you. Loss of sleep is not only painful but shortens the lifespan.

Ed1937

Josey, I'm glad you got some sleep, but when you have to cry and cry, something has to give. I hope you don't have to wait for a month for relief.

June July

The neurologist has my mother on Trazadone and quetiapine before bedtime. These drugs have helped immensely with sleeping, she no longer gets up and paces at all hours. They have no side affects that we have seen. She’s been on that combination for 3 months now.