How do I tell him he's going to MC?

Wilton

Hello, I'm sure this topic has been covered,  so I'm sorry for the repeat. 

I've started telling DH that I'm not feeling well, going to doctor, tests, etc,  who will ultimately tell me that she doesn't recommend that I continue to care for him.  His brother and I have found a beautiful place for him to live.  Etc, etc.

Thoughts?   Maybe tell him one day in advance that tomorrow is moving day?  

I feel like such a lying traitor.   As you all know,  this is heartbreaking.  Thanks for your support. 

loveskitties

You may want to check with the facility you are taking him to for guidance.  

Most of the folks who have posted here have just taken LO out for a ride, or some outing and then wound up at the facility where they do the rest of getting them settled.

Telling the LO of future plans...even just hours ahead...sometimes causes more grief...and often they don't remember being told.

Ernie123

I agree with the advice of loveskitties, just do it with no discussion. Ironically, if you could have a rational discussion about the need to move that your DH could understand and remember, you probably wouldn’t need to consider the move. Different rules apply now. Recognize the limitations of your DH and don’t hesitate to say whatever is necessary to distract or redirect attention. Never argue or attempt complex explanations. This is counter to the communication and decisions you are probably used to in your marriage, but now your job is to help him navigate life when he has lost many of his his cognitive skills and is unable to comprehend and act on complex reasoning. The staff at MC facilities are used to settling new residents. You have to step back and turn the caregiving over to them. From my experience going through this change it will be harder on you than him. But with support you both will transition. I hope you succeed in making the move as it will be better for you both in the long run.