Haven't posted in a year - bank account question

Ginsamae

Hi All - I haven't posted in more than a year as my MIL no longer lives with us. Incredibly long story short - she had to leave here or my marriage would have ended. DH told his sibs that we had to have relief. Oldest sib stepped up and took MIL and that lasted for a whopping 6 months, then MIL was shipped off to another sib. After going through 2 more sibs she is back to oldest sib...who is not happy. DH told sibs we were out until one of them starts pursuing getting MIL an actual diagnosis. It's been a trip!

Anyway, it appears that oldest sib is on board with keeping their mom until a neuro appt can be had. It's been 2 years since MIL has been to a neurologist and we are hoping that she'll actually receive a diagnosis this time.

My question - if she does, can we use that to go to the bank and gain access to her account? MIL has always refused to sign any sort of legal POAs or advance directives of any kind, so no one can get access to the accounts.

 MIL is spending money like she's a sailor on shore leave and no one will confront her. One of the sibs tried to hide MIL's checkbook but MIL simply called the bank and ordered more checks...seems she has the wherewithall to remember how to do that...it's weird what sticks with her and what she forgets. 

toolbeltexpert

I used the tatic, the poa was in case something happened to me. Worked like a charm, she was so greatful I was doing something for her.

But if she won't sign a dpoa it's probably gonna end up in court for guardianship. I know nothing about that, but from my reading that's what it will probably take. There are several lawyers on here who are very experienced, but the location of the mil is something they always ask as the laws are state specific.

The bank has an obligation to do what your mil asks till she is ruled incompetent. The diagnosis is the first step towards that process though.

I wouldn't give up just yet on the dpoa. Others who have different experiences will chime in. Good luck 

Stewart

Quilting brings calm

Ginsamae- I’ve been wondering how you are doing. Tell us about your new grandchild!  

Is there any way that your SIL can get her mom to add her to the account?  Offering to write the checks for her. Telling her that a joint account isn’t considered part of estate  so there wouldn’t be inheritance taxes later. Then the money could be transferred by that someone  to a different account as soon as it came in every month.  That transfer  is totally legal as a joint account is an either/or ownership.  That’s how my step-dad moved money from a joint account to one in his name only without any prior  knowledge of the other joint account holders 

Maybe you can get her to sign the kind of POA that takes a finding of incompetence to kick in- since she thinks  nothing is wrong, she  might consider it would never take affect and sign it. 

Maybe your SIL could take her to the notary public under the guise of also doing her own POA so that both signed One at the same time.    Your SIL coughs make sure that her was destroyed afterwards 

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