What if LO doesn't want to be placed in MCF?

Dio

DH just blurted, "Don't send me away."

I don't know if he's psychic or simply peeked over my shoulder and saw that I was researching MCFs on my laptop. Then it dawned on me that while I was focused on planning ahead for placement, it hasn't occurred to me that he may resist and fight it tooth-n-nail. While the emotional aspect regarding placement is devastating as is, how about the legality of placement if PWD does not want to be placed? I don't think a DPOA is enough to place him if he resists.

Kenzie56

My husband had no clue I was going to place him. He has no insight and doesn't comprehend that he has dementia (anosognosia), so he would have panicked and flipped out if I had tried to explain it to him. You can't reason with a person who no longer has the ability to reason. He looks alert, but he doesn't know his birthday, address, my name, can't use his phone, has trouble communicating, makes bad judgments, he can't problem solve, can't take care of his basic needs without help, and has behavioral issues. The MCF I used, had several steps to the admission process to make sure a mentally healthy person in not being admitted. A nurse came out to the house to determine the level of care he would need, DH's PCP had to fill out pages and submit to the MCF regarding his condition, history and medications and give him a thorough examination, (the doctor basically had to state that he would be a danger to himself if left alone and did not have the cognition to care for himself), he also had to have a chest X-Ray and Covid test. I gave them copies of his DPOA and Medical Directive. The contract I signed was pages long...I had to do all the planning without his knowledge - which made everything a challenge...but if I had included him in the process it would have been very upsetting for him and quite a battle. I wish you luck. It is hard. I am in transition after his placement last week and struggling through the emotions.  Like you my stress really started after I accepted the fact he needed to be placed (or I was going to die) and started the planning. I don't think anyone would challenge the legality of his placement since his condition is well documented and I am named primary decision-maker in his DPOA.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

toolbeltexpert

Dio I am sure you'll hear from others, but in no way did I involve my dw. But for me it was an er to geripsych to nhf to mc journey.  The only time  she was transported by me was the last move to mc, after the meds seemed to be helping. She asked what we were doing at the mc, she had been there before with me as a pastor, I just told her we were visiting. And upon entry she was keep focused other things. But your fear is one that many have as well. I did and would have been more anxious had i had to do the first move. From your profile things are progressing pretty fast so this seems like the next step to me. I will be praying for you to have an easy placement process. 

Stewart