Doctor's Visits(1)

EMCas

Looking for some input and or advice. Mom is currently in a memory care center with lots of wonderful services, including dentist, geriatric care physician, ophthalmology, audiology, etc.

She is coming due for a dental appointment and we have made the choice to use the memory care services since she has been just awful when leaving the building to visit with doctors. We are wondering if this is the best course of action and just have her yell at us (her children), or should we stick it out and take her to her established health care providers, and just struggle through the appointments?

M1

I would absolutely use the services they provide.  My partner has been in MC for seven months and all outside appointments were discontinued.

Olly_Bake

I wish decisions were easy. My LO was never in MC but in a nursing home facility. At first the nursing home would transport and we would meet and handle the appointment. That worked out okay and was not as stressful. Then they started saying they were booked with dialysis patients transport. We started doing the transport. Getting him to leave the facility was no problem and he would be so very happy. But getting him out of our vehicle and back into the facility was a totally different story. So we stopped doing the transport which meant he no longer was seen by his cardiologist, urologist, or pulmonologist. He is back living in his home as of this year.

So if it will cause upheaval, my vote would be for MC facility services.

MN Chickadee

We had a good experience using the professionals who did rounds at the MC facility. It was convenient and provided comprehensive care. We discontinued any appointments that were off site, because it was difficult to take mom out and we went with more of a palliative approach anyway since Alz is terminal, there wasn't much that she needed that wasn't on site. I liked the model of the PCP coming to her. If you use a regular clinic you play phone tag with a nurse and never get to speak to the doctor. In MC I knew what morning the doc did rounds there and could just be there to speak to her in person if I needed to. They did lab collection right there and even a portable xray. Later we added hospice so that if mom fell or something happened the hospice nurse would evaluate her instead of them sending her to the ER all the time which was always useless and hard on her.

harshedbuzz

EMCas-

We used the clinicians affiliated with the MCF where possible. 

Aside from the convenience of not having to move dad, these docs were very experienced in PWD. The one doc he saw on the "outside" was his urologist for twice yearly ADT injections. I tried mightily to get him to get him to liaise with the MCF either visiting or preparing the injection for the PCP but could not make it happen. We ended up using a medical transport service to take dad to and from his appointment.

HB

CarolynATL

I started using the facility's medical team about a year ago and wish I'd switched over earlier.  It removes so many variables that would stress dad out - a car ride, a setting which seemed unfamiliar, wait time in the lobby and exam room.

karinthegarage

Hi All

Long saga; latest is that my 2-years-younger Brother does not want to continue as POA, has blocked naming me as POA, and has now filed with MN Courts to name my folks as Incapacitated and to be put under Conservatorship with First Fiduciary Corporation.

This includes an Accusation of Wrongdoing on MY part, as my folks paid off my house mortgage in April this year ($84,000). My parents have not otherwise Gifted me $, but the Forms claim that they are in danger of giving me all their $. My folks have Genworth long term care insurance that covers most of their current stay at an AL facility. My parents have about $1 million in investments (though I believe there are shenanigans here, as their House recently sold for $625,000 and this money is not listed. Hmm).

Some older SLUMS tests were cited as proof of my parents’ dementia (note that there are no Tests available on my folks’ medical charts). No neurological testing done, no other diagnoses….I believe the diagnosis being used was one given by a nurse who did not respect my fathers’ hearing issues. Hard to say.

My Father has been hard of hearing since early on and wears hearing aids; he often does not hear well enough to Understand, in addition to being in a cognitive decline.

Ok.

So…..I do NOT know how to help my parents.

Do I call Elder Abuse?

Do I Protest the Conservatorship? This court date is November 3, coming up.

Do I help my folks hire an attorney?

I talked to 2 attorneys; one advised me to just let it happen. The other provided info abpnd recommended my folks hire an attorney (about $7000).

Please send any thoughts; really appreciate your ideas.

Karin

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

Hi Karin, welcome to here. So sorry to hear you're having trouble with your siblings and how they've been handling your parents. You'll get more tailored replies if you create your own thread. Click the green button at the top of the forum that says "add topic"

Good luck.