DH can't talk or understand

Kenzie56

I'm looking for tips from those of you that are dealing with a partner that can no longer talk or comprehend what you say. My DH can say a handful of words from time to time, but they make no sense. Most of his words are gibberish. If I say something, he has no clue what I have said, like I am speaking another language. We end up pointing to things. He gets frustrated, but I am open to other suggestions. DH can somewhat communicate through signals. I am very attentive to his every movement to see what he may need. (Most of the time I am certain he doesn't know what his needs are.) He can't tell me if he is hungry, thirsty, has to go to the bathroom, etc.  I try not to make it an issue. I bring him water regularly, tell him lunch is ready, guide him to the bathroom if he starts to pace. He is not able to read or write either, so we can't communicate that way. I printed a sheet of pictures with food, beverage, bathroom, etc., but that doesn't work. He just looks at me like "What do you want me to do with that?" We go for short walks, listen to music, I put old movies on for background sounds and a connection to the outside world...but I welcome any other suggestions that might help.

Ed1937

Kenzie, I think you are doing an excellent job re communications. I did a search on youtube to see if there were videos available for more tips. https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=+Part+1.+Communication+strategies+for+dementia  

Vitruvius

My DW has Semantic Variant of Primary Progressive Aphasia, aka Semantic Dementia. As the name suggests it profoundly affects her communication abilities. So I know of what you speak. 

From reading your post you are doing most everything I would have recommended. As for old movies, my DW got to the point she couldn't watch tv shows as the dialogue seemed to mean nothing to her and so the shows held no interest. I began to play non violent animal nature shows for her [penguins, meerkats, etc.], understanding dialogue was not required, but she always liked animals so that worked.  I also put on youtube "relaxation" videos. I often put these on an ipad which she needed to hold to watch and I guess made them more personal which helped keep her focused on them.  DW is now in an MCF and eventually watching anything on screen is beyond her.

DW still attempts to communicate, and thinks she is doing so, so I just go with it and that seems to satisfy her. You of course get to understand the general direction of her communication attempts, humor, concern, question, comment. I then respond in that direction, and if I didn't get it right I change course. But I'm sure you've figured this out already as well. 

Best of luck to you. 

Michael Ellenbogen

If you want to learn more I am more then  happy to speak to you by phone. Just send me a private email  and you can call me. No guarantee but I have been successful for most.

DJnAZ

As a part of her dementia diagnosis, my wife has global aphasia. It is impossible to know how much she understands or how she interprets what she hears and sees. But she is still physically able and can manage herself fairly well for normal activities such as eating, dressing, toileting and even making her bed and keeping her room at the SNF organized.

I have tried using typed short sentences on a page that she could point to and pictures of various things to help her communicate and help me understand her. Neither were successful. I should add she can speak but usually her sentences are no more than 3-4 words. And as bizarre as it sounds, each sentence usually ends with the word "terrible". For instance she will say, "...lets go terrible" or "we can terrible".

She pays no attention to television or music but will look at pictures of dogs and even point at the pics and smile. Her aphasia and basic lack of attention to most things makes it difficult for the SNF to engage her or involve her in activities. When I visit we take walks or sit and look at our many pictures on a tablet or in picture books I made for her.

This is a long way of saying you are doing the best you can to communicate with your husband. Keep engaging him and be attentive to his needs. What you are doing can only help.

Kenzie56

Ed, this video is very helpful and worth sharing with a home caregiver (when I get one) as well as friends and family members. Some of the strategies can be modified to fit the severity of my DH, but it is good to remind people about speaking slower, speaking less, using non-verbal cues, using visuals, yes/no questions and addressing anxiety when the PWD can't express what their needs are. I have watched my husband get very anxious when well-meaning friends/family members visit and talk to me (like he isn't there)  - leaving him entirely in the dust.  Thank you so much!

Kenzie56

DJnAZ: Thank you and to others that let me know I am not alone.  I try so hard to enter into his world and when it fails, I feel there must be something else I can try. It is comforting to know that my efforts are validated. Thank you for taking the time to share what you have tried.

Kenzie56

Vitruvius, I tried this today with great success.  Thank you so much for the suggestion!!

LilySue

My DH has suffered with global aphasia since his stroke in 2012. I found a book while he was still in the hospital that saved my sanity back then, and I would recommend it to anyone involved in care for someone with this affliction:

"One Hundred Names for Love" by Diane Ackerman

The book is a memoir of her experience with her husband after he developed aphasia. It's well worth reading!

Kenzie56

Omg Lily, thank you! I just ordered it and I can't wait to read it.  You are a gem.

MaryG123

Thank you Lilysue! I’m reading the book now.