I did not want to hijack Bill's thread

Iris L.

Bill posted about what he would do if diagnosed with dementia.  I want to emphasize that even a person without dementia can be in a very difficult, even miserable situation.  I am thinking of my frail neighbor, who I have posted about.  She is a widow of three years, after a 60+ year marriage.  She was doing fairly okay until two months ago when she fell.  Now she is 95% bedridden, getting up only to toilet and to eat.  A woman comes daily to fix her dinner.  Her friend comes weekly.  Other than that she has no companionship.  To me, it is like she is in solitary confinement.  I had gotten her a "friendly visitor" from a senior program, but she stopped that.  I tried to get her interested in chair aerobics or chair yoga--she didn't like that.  I got her home physical therapy--she didn't like that.  I wanted to get her some low vision aids, because she is legally blind--she didn't want that.  I offered to get her audiobooks from the library--she didn't want that.  She doesn't want to do anything that could make her solitary aged life even a little bit better.  She tells me she wants to die, she finds no enjoyment in life.  

My point is, think about how you will spend your latter years, even if you do not develop dementia.  We will all decline physically.  But we do not have to live miserably.  I don't want to live miserably in my latter years.

Iris

Ed1937

Iris, you've done all you can do. She's so lucky to have you as a neighbor, even if she doesn't want to cooperate.

Joydean

Iris you have treated your neighbor better than some peoples family treat them. I’m so sorry she has not excepted the help you have tried to get for her. You are truly a very amazing lady! You are right we don’t have to live a miserable life, if a helping hand is extended we have a choice. 

Iris L.

Thank you, but I was not posting about myself.  My point is, don't think that because you may not develop dementia that your golden years will be golden.  Even the alert older adult needs to prepare for tarnished years.  On other words, try not to become in her position if this sounds bad to you.

Iris

Just Bill

Iris L. feel free to hijack my threads all you want. I am happy to stimulate thought and conversation for both me and whoever reads what I write. You know wondering about what I would do if I had a dementia diagnosis was a great way to invite anxiety into my life where I am trying to avoid it. Living in the moment is the happiest place I can be. Feeling guilty or resentful of the past or anxiously anticipating the future is called time travelling and it isn't a healthy thing to do. The future is uncertain and it is pointless to play the what if game. The human race could be blasted back to the stone age by an asteroid impact or maybe an alien invasion. The possibilities are endless. I am at an age where either of those possibilities would be a fascinating way to go. But I am not going to give how I check out of this world much thought. There will be plenty of time to experience it in the moment when it happens.

Another Day

Bill, you've got class to openly share your thread. As to the question of what if? I can't live in what if's. My response to the question is that I'll deal with it when and if it happens. Things change rapidly and what is today may be different tomorrow. I'm a Plan B sort of person, if this doesn't work, let's move on and try something else.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.