Rough couple of days but I'm OK

Jeanne C.

I'm having a couple of annoying days.

We had an appointment with DH's memory care NP where he had a paranoid meltdown in the waiting room. He decided that it was a psych ward and refused to go in. It was so out of the blue. He likes his NP and has been to the office before. There were no fiblets to get him there and I really didn't anticipate any problems. Shows what I know.

The rest of the day was a mess with hours of accusations and agitation. A nap usually resets him but this time it just turned him up to 11.

I was hoping for a break today, but his home aide was a no show. Super inconvenient as I had things I needed to do today. But we managed to have a low-key day. Until dinner where I apparently made the hotdogs he requested wrong. Now he isn't speaking to me. Seriously, he is literally ignoring me. Is it wrong that I've used the quiet time to read a book?

Anyway, I'm not melting down. 6 months ago a couple of bad days would have sent me down a spiral of "how am I going to do this?" and lots of tears. Now I just do what I can and try to remember that we're going to have rougher days than this. I've rescheduled his appointment as a televisit. I offered him a turkey sandwich (still not talking so I put it in the fridge). And I'm making myself a cup of tea.

I can do this.

Ed1937

Jeanne, you've got a handle on it. Good for you!! I think you did a good thing by taking the time to read a book. Your attitude is going to take you a long way.

PookieBlue

Jeanne,

I empathize with you. Hopefully, this too will pass. You will find you coping mechanisms and skill at using fiblets and move on with courage. You deserved quiet time for reading your book and a cup of tea. We hear you!

Valerie

GG06

Jeanne, it sounds like a stressful couple of days for you. I find it harder to handle situations with my husband when he does something that I’m not expecting and haven’t prepared myself for. I hope today is easier for you and your husband is not as agitated. I know it may not feel like it to you, but I think you are doing amazingly well managing episodes that are incredibly challenging.

Denise1847

Bravo Jeanne! I escape through my reading and walks. It sounds like you are growing stronger and developing a new set of skills for dealing with the stress. I am always on edge, waiting for what is lurking around the corner with DH's behavior. Your experience is a lesson for me. I am brought back to fond memories of when I worked in Patient Relations at Johns Hopkins Hospital many years ago. The way I coped with angry and sometimes crazy people yelling at me is to make it a challenge for me. In my mind, I would think, "by the time you (the complainer) leaves my presence, you will be smiling and thank me." Most of the time, it worked out well just by a change in my attitude. I just let the anger wash by me and not penetrate my being. Sort of like a good rain that just runs off of a duck and doesn't wet his body (or your spirit). Sounds like you did that.

Drapper

Sounds like you are handling your bad days well. I wish I could say the same. I’m nust finding it so hard to let the anger towards me wash off me. I kept trying to deal with my DH anger as if I can reason him out of it. It does not work. I need a new approach , but can’t get there.

I would love time to read a book. (Especially one not about this disease ).

mrahope

OMG! What you have written really describes my life lately. Rage for no reason, and I feel so anxious...like walking on eggshells all the time. I tried a caregiver and he wouldn't work with her after an incident. Now the agency is looking for another person, but it's been over two weeks and I'm giving up hope. The tension and anxiety are terrible.

ghphotog

My DW is outside right now having a meltdown for all the neighbors to hear. We are turning into the neighbors from hell. Our immediate neighbors know what is up but not the ones behind us.

I'm sure they're are wondering what's with those crazy people that live over there. Surprised none of them have called the cops yet.

Howaboutnow

Jeanne, i think it’s wise to take the silence treatment as an opportunity to read. Absolutely! Once we find the ability to not take things personally and we know they are safe, albeit in a mood, we have to take those moments to escape the constant demands both mental and physical. We are so limited in our options, can’t go anywhere or do anything,,,peacefully reading for a bit could save the day for you. 😊 It has for me.

Jeanne C.

Thanks for the support everyone. Today was better, but I'm really looking forward to him going to daycare in the morning. I'm sorry for everyone who has been having a hard time. It's like a roller coaster, isn't it? And, for the record, I don't like roller coasters 😉

White Crane

Jeanne, I’m glad you sat down and read a book. It probably helped you relax. You’re doing a good job in a very stressful situation.. Sending hugs.

Brenda