I'm beaten down

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charley0419

wow! Can’t believe you got this far not getting hurt. I have no answers but know someone does

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mrahope

OMG! I am so sorry you are dealing with this type of behavior. If you are POA you may be able to get some help with the financial and medical decisions using those powers. Abuse is abuse, even if he is not aware of what he is doing. You don't say if you are married, but if you are not you may not be able to help with health decisions without specific legal documents.

Please, please take whatever actions are needed to protect yourself.

Nowhere

You refer to him as your finance, so if he’s not named you as his Power Of Attorney and maybe guardian, does he have close family members who will step in and be responsible for him?

A couple more question, when was he diagnosed, and is he aware he has dementia? Do you think he would ever consent to you handling his medical care and financial matters? This disease can move very swiftly, so it’s important his legal affairs are in order. If not, he and his care giver need an appointment ASAP with an elder care attorney. It’s in his best interest that he have an up to date will, advance directive, and POA. If he doesn’t have enough money saved for his care, this attorney could also advise on his eligibility for state aid.

If you feel threatened by him, call 911 and tell them he has dementia, is out of control, and that you do not feel safe. They would transport him to the ER. From there, you could refuse to take him home, asking for a psych evaluation. They’d be required to comply.

midge333

You say you work full time but cannot access your finances. You should immediately open your own checking account and have your paycheck direct deposited into that new account. Perhaps open a credit card in your name only. Next I would try to extricate all your assets from his assets. You will likely need help from a lawyer. You will also need to decide if you want to stay in the relationship. If yes, please understand you will be a caregiver for the next decade and every phase of his illness will be worse than the previous until he dies. I am sorry you are in this situation.

Quilting brings calm

The last thing you need is a partner with dementia in control of your money. You don’t have authority to talk to his doctors, you don’t seem to have authority on anything. You need to change your paycheck to direct deposit into a new account in your name only and move out.

Iris L.

You sound very tender-hearted. You have to become a bit more stoic to be his caregiver. Everything is going to be very emotional for you.

Iris