Tips on how to have pleasant conversations with a person with dementia

Merla

Sometimes my only objective is to have a conversation with my loved one that is pleasant for both of us though particularly I want it to be pleasant and satisfying for her.

i am moderately good at having conversations with my loved one with dementia mostly bc I have no other objective other than to have a pleasant conversation with her. I would appreciate tips though.

she tends to get most engaged about negative topics, ie climate change, dmv, thr suffering of her elderly parents, her exboyfriend, etc. she also has a negative perception of a lot of people and has one or two negative things she says about them every time they come up or she thinks about them. Is there anyway to change her linking of certain people with negative statements?

Should our conversations be oriented to the past, present or future?

Should she lead our conversations and do most of the talking or should I do most thr talking? Should I strive for a monologue or a dialogue? Should I talk a lot about my life or more about her life?

Right now I let her drive the conversation. She often talks about negative things which seem to only serve to concern her ie natural disasters. She also has this tendency to oversimplify someone's character, having very black and white thinking and link a person with one or two things that she thinks are terrible about them. Ie: Says my father cheated on her and that's why she is divorced. (Likely untrue). Is there a way to change some of these associations in her mind? I ask because she is negative about people who actually care about her and would help her some but probably not if they are vilified.

I sometimes don't know how to respond to my loved one with dementia. I end up being very agreeable and affirming but not very interactive ie I'll say uhuh, ok, right, oh wow, interesting, no way! But I don't have a lot to add to conversations.

When I'm talking about myself I try to keep the topics simple but it seems difficult for her to engage in my topics

SusanB-dil

It sounds like you are doing fine.

We usually let MIL take the lead. If we wish to start a conversation, I will often start with a simple question to her, like "Are you having a good day?" We have gotten all kinds of answers. From there, we try to just go with the flow.

same here about just being agreeable.

mabelgirl

I pretty much do the same thing, let mom guide the topics. I try hard not be contrary even though some of what she says is really out there. I also interject happenings in the family. She sometimes picks up on that and will ask about it several times more like she’s trying hard to crasp what I said.

Mama’sGirl

I usually let my love on just talk. Although I must admit the negativity is really a downer.

mrsabaldwin

I try to steer my mom to pleasant things such as her wedding day or I will say things like can you believe how lucky Dad was when the lottery first started? Practically every scratch off was a winner,

Merla

I just have a hard time coming up with pleasant topics that engage her. Ie lol being up her wedding would not result in a pleasant conversation. Somehow our conversations often go to negative worrisome topics.

I do have a couple good go to memories for us to talk about but because I didn't know these people it's hard for me to say too much.