I'm almost as overwhelmed as my mom

softsoul

New to this site but my mother was diagnosed and placed for her safety into assisted living nearly a year ago.

Lots Of logistics issues but I wont go into all of that in my first note.

A month ago, she had a fall, ended up in hospital with covid, pneumonia, pulmonary embolism and, since going into hospital, delirium…

Cant go back to the AL home. She seems caught between needing LTC but no beds but hospital needs her out.

How do I navigate this road for her (with her) when I keep getting different rules (for lack of a better word) from everyone I speak to? (Because of differing laws, ill add that we are in Ontario, Canada)

SusanB-dil

Hi softsoul - welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

Yes, dealing with 'this' is hard and I'm sorry you are having to. Not sure how different the facility places and rules are, but couldn't you check around for a facility that has room? Is there something like a rehab place she could go just as a temporary solution? Do you have a senior/elder care administration or advisor you could check with?

Yeah, 'this' bites

H1235

Welcome. Is there a law there that says the hospital can’t kick her out on the street if she has no place to go? If so this takes some pressure off you. If there is make sure you don’t offer to bring her home with you. I the hospital is not an ideal place for her, but she is safe. I hope you can figure something out.

softsoul

Thank you both for the replies.

She has a geriatric doctor but, because she is in hospital, the doctor cant/wont do anything (even consult) until she is released.

Fortunately, hospital cant kick her out but they can and are kinda bullying a lesser care place to take her.

Living with me isnt an option as I'm quite disabled and in a wheelchair. I cant keep mom comfortable let alone safe.

I know itll work out. It has to

Anonymousjpl123

@softsoul that is a lot to say the least! Your mom is so lucky to have you. I like your username.
All of that said, I think there is an Alzheimer’s society in Canada that seems to have decent info on their website. The best thing may be to find a few long term care places you like that can handle her conditions and get her on the wait list if there is one.

This way, if she has to go to a place that isn’t as good at least you are working toward something better. I know this is stressful! Please do reach out to Alzheimer’s society. I have found they have resources and can be very helpful.
Hang in there and please keep us posted.

housefinch

I would also have a low threshold for getting hospice to evaluate her, because such severe illness and delirium often speed up dementia progression. If she’s falling, too, she will probably face an ER trip after most future falls. And if you are the family member nearby, you will be going too because she can’t hang out in the ER alone. Sorry for my bluntness but I think it’s worth thinking about whether you want higher quality or quantity of remaining days for her from here onward.