What's the worst that could happen?

notagain123

Setting the scene: My mother has three pieces of property, a springing POA and a stubborn streak the size of Jupiter. She is currently between showing signs between stages 4-6 of dementia (not my first rodeo with the disease). It will not be long before she needs supervision. Issue #1: She refuses to see a doctor. Issue #2: She's running out of money Issue #3: She refuses to disclose ANYTHING! We don't know how much money she has, doctors she has seen in the past, etc. She won't sign a HIPPA form. She has enough of her faculties to refuse assistance, but leaves large sums of money out in the open and then can't find where she left it. Because she refuses to see a doctor, we cannot invoke the springing POA so our hands are tied. Her excess properties need to be sold to cover her long term care needs. If she were to need care immediately (like if she falls and breaks a hip) she would not have the funds to cover the cost. She would not qualify for Medicare because of the excess properties. In this scenario, what's the worst that can happen for HER and for her POAs (legal liabilities)?

SusanB-dil

I'm sure others will chime in, but realistically, nobody wants to think about 'the worst that could happen'… From a fall, a fire, scammers, bills not being paid… that list is extensive.

I am not a legal person, so not sure about the POA's legal liabilities, since it has not been enforced as yet, I don't know if there would be liability? You would have to check with a lawyer on that, or the lawyer that wrote it up would probably know more.

Could you try having her go to the doctor 'with you', except that it would be her appointment? Without HIPAA rights, you could let the doctor know the specifics, they are just not allowed to reply back to you.

Quilting brings calm

You could try for guardianship / then she would be forced to see a doctor, and possibly to disclose her financial situation. Otherwise, you might have to wait for a crisis ( emergency hospitalization ) get a doctor to sign off on the springing POA.

My step-father refused to give me legal and financial POA, his money, yet expected me to take care of things like that for him. I tried explaining to him that when something happened where he was incapacitated, a third party guardian would be named and he wouldn’t like that. Didn’t matter. I understand your dilemma.

H1235

I agree. It sounds like you might need to look into guardianship. Maybe a lawyer could tell you if there is a legal way to get an evaluation and enact the spring poa. If there is anything she does that could warrant a 911 call I would jump on it so to speak. So for example if her neighbor calls you and says she is wandering the neighborhood, call 911 vs running to get her back home yourself. Explain the situation to officers. They would hopefully bring her to the hospital and you could request a mental health evaluation. Even if you can’t get the results. It would move things in the right direction. Is she still driving. Should she be? You could disable the car, report her. I ask, because I wonder how she is getting the money from the bank. If she can’t have access to cash, that might be one less thing to worry about. But I realize scammers can still do a lot of damage over the phone. I know this is probably a little shady, but can you have someone take her to lunch while you go through her house looking for clues to her financial situation. I might even try to hide things to keep them safe from her if that makes any sense. If you don’t think she would even know it’s gone, maybe bring things home with you. I’m thinking saving bonds, legal documents that kind of thing. I hope you can figure something out.

notagain123

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/241652#Comment_241652

Ah yes, there is a gap from my last post to this one. To fill in the gap: Mom removed me as POA initially because I took my father's keys (it was necessary) and gave POA to one of my siblings who is an untrustworthy circling vulture. When circling vulture showed their true colors, it cause a huge family rift and Mom made me POA again.

I am fully aware of the toddler trick as I was POA for my father and his wife for over seven years. When I say Mom still has enough of her faculties, I mean she pointed out a very obscure error on her utility bill less than a month ago - and she was correct. Bills/taxes are paid and up to date. She really does still have her faculties most of the time. But she is slipping. Examples: she locked herself out of her truck while getting into it, loses her purse, left a large amount of money out in plain sight but couldn't find it.

As an update for anyone else in a similar situation: I spoke with an attorney and learned the following: Since the POA is springing, I can't be held responsible if it hasn't been sprung. What I can do is wait until she is hospitalized for something, explain the situation and have her tested then to spring the POA. She would also not be denied placement in a care facility in this situation…..and I cannot be forced into taking her into my home.