I’m new to all this, am as lost as my DW

Gator1976

My DW is between stages 4 & 5. First it was her knees that hurt, then stomach and now back. Her psychiatrist fired her saying she can’t help her if she has lost her will to get better. The doctor told her if she decides she wants to live her life and enjoy each day as it comes, to call her back to come see her but until then, she can’t help her.
she lives by her fears , mainly her fear of embarrassment and failure.
After the day she was told the ALZ news, she quit everything she loved to do and won’t go back to it. The Doctor says she still has the capability but won’t try.
She even quit cooking, cleaning up, doing laundry, grocery shopping and cleaning the house. I have to do all that now plus all my financial duties, caring for 2 homes, cars, social activities etc etc. Now she sits watches tv, complains about all her pain and doesn’t understand or know what to do.
All this in 4 months.
How do you motivate someone who doesn’t care????
I have a Caregiver 2 week seminar put on by Mayo Clinic coming up with her going and am hoping they can help me.