I have no ME time.

Big Papa2760

My daughter has hired someone to come in three days a week. I had already hired a Gardner, Housekeeper. This 3 person is supposed to do our laundry and be there 3 hours a day. She is always finding something to do to fill her time. My DW and I don't eat that much but my daughter is insisting she cook for us and plan our meals. It like we don't have a choice in our own home. Yes, my DW has had VD for several years now and has fallen, when she forgets to use her walker. it's like we don't have our own home anymore. There is always someone in the house. Is there such a thing as too much love and help. I dress, shower and my DW. I take care of the finances and were able to do our own shopping, but my daughter feels we need someone to do it for us. Our daughter wants us to move into an assisted living home. I'm 74 and my DW is 77. Why can't we just be allowed to enjoy the time we have left and do it our way without everyone telling us what we need?

H1235

Try to remember that what your daughter is doing is being done with love and concern. Being a full time caregiver and taking care of the home is a lot of work and overwhelming for people much younger than you (sorry no offense ). I can’t remember the statistics, but a caregiver passing before the person with dementia is not uncommon. Pace yourself. This may be a long journey. You want to continue to be there for your wife. You are very fortunate that you and your wife have the financial resources to remain in your home with help. Being able to say in your home and having someone constantly there is probably still better than assisted living or memory care. Would it be helpful to get out of the house for awhile by yourself. Maybe sit down with your daughter and see if you can come up with some kind of compromise.

cindie-san

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73225/i-have-no-me-time

I fell apart becuz I got severe sciatica. My husband is the one w mild VD. He started a new med memantine. It seems to be working. But I can’t do everything right now because of pain. And I cry and cry sometimes .