I'm a new guy here
Hello everyone,
My lovely wife of 54 years was diagnosed 10 months ago with dementia, early stage. The doctor we saw, a specialist in dementia, prescribed Donepezil 5 mg for one month, then 10 mg since.
I have watched with dismay as the symptoms have increased. She has short term and long term memory issues, stopped paying monthly bills she had handled for many years, and a total lack of interest in maintaining her housekeeping responsibilities, among other signs .
I have taken over all tasks with gusto, not allowing any negatives in our relationship. I intend to do everything in my power to keep her with me as long as possible.
About a six weeks ago, we both came down with severe colds. Mine improved after about 10 days, but her symptoms continued for almost three weeks, including three trips to our GP and several doses of antibiotics, and other cold meds. Now, it appears she has become intrenched in an almost comatose state, no interest in going for walks, much less interest in dining out with friends, etc. So even though her cold is gone, she continues to use it as a reason to withdraw further.
Watching this site has helped me understand what's in our future, and a great relief to know I'm not alone in this process.
What convinced me to write at this time is she recently has begun to fight me on taking her meds. There are about six or seven important meds she needs to take daily, and a few other vitamins she should take. She postpones taking them as long as possible, but until now I've been successful in getting them taken daily. Last night, she just refused to take them.
Any suggestions on how to overcome this problem? All comments are welcome.
Comments
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I would stop the vitamins and prioritize the others. Maybe have something like her favorite cookie when she gets it done. I know Hospice stopped the memory pills as they were doing no good. Ask the doctors about the order of importance.
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Dear Ronk,
I assume the doctor did an MRI or CAT scan and blood work to rule out other possibilities out. I ask this because it seems that she has progressed so quickly. I am so very sorry you are having to join us but you will find this community extremely helpful.
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Yes, MRI and blood work was done. I have tried bribing her with sweets, last night nothing worked.
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Regarding sudden onset of disturbing behaviors: consider checking for urinary tract infection or other infection.
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UTIs are a common cause of symptoms, especially if they come on suddenly. If you have her checked for UTI, please ask for a culture to be done. If there is an infection, it will tell them the best medication to use for treatment.
When my wife refused her medications, I told her I understand how she felt. I told her I thought some of the medications were not needed (for both of us), but we couldn't just stop taking them without talking to the doc. I said I'd talk to him about it at our next visit. Then I would complain every time I took mine, again saying I would talk to him about stopping some of them. It's best to validate her feelings, but try to find another way to get the job done.
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My dh has just lately started complaining about taking his meds. He only has 3 in morning and 2 to take about 30 minutes before bed time. They are very small pills. As M1 did I showed dh my “pills “ (just vitamins) and how much bigger they are and said I don’t want to take them either. Now I give him his while showing him mine and we take them together. For now it’s working!
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Those are some good suggestions, thanks, I am continuing to work at it.
On another topic, a friend told me recently about Mythelene Blue. Supposed to help dementia. Has anyone had any experience with this?
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Ronk, I know nothing about Mythelene Blue, but if it did help with dementia, I think I would have heard of it. I'm not a doc, but we have people from the medical field on the site, and if you don't get a better answer from them, start a new topic with that in the heading.
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Rink, do you mean methylene blue? This is used to treat a specific condition: methemoglobinemia, a blood disorder.
About a decade ago there were a number of peer reviewed articles on the effect of MB in healthy aging, MCI, and AD.
Currently a phase two (intervention) trial addressing these issues is ongoing at the U of Texas, with results expected in July of 2023.
Stay tuned!
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Were you tested for COVID when you had the cold?
A number of people I know here, and elsewhere, reported a considerable progression with infection without a return to a previous baseline with COVID infection.
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Eliminate any med that is not absolutely essential and then see if the others come in liquid form or if they can be crushed and mixed in food. Drugs like statins can be stopped. The fewer meds she needs the easier your will be.
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I agree with Gig. Ask the doc to cut out everything that is not absolutely necessary.
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Can you change the times that she gets any of these? I had to move dinner time due to sundowning....just a thought. There are times of the day that my DH is easier to get along with or persuade to do something. Another thought is to use a distraction, catch her while she's engaged in a favorite television show, just hand her the pills and whatever drink and see how that works. I'm learning fast that "whatever it takes" is what you do.
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My DW also got to a point where she refused to take her meds. So we grind them ( after checking that that is ok) and stir them through yogurt or applesauce.
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Have a conversation with her doctor about her current state and taking a more palliative approach. I would stop all meds and supplements that aren't absolutely essential. She has a terminal illness with the dementia and that will likely get her before many other conditions we would normally take meds for. Your focus now should just be on quality of time remaining and reducing agitation and fights over care. My mother was on many meds and tons of vitamins and supplements she had always taken, and we whittled it down to her anti-seizure med (seizures occurred as a result of the dementia) and for a while the Donepezil. Talk with a pharmacist about crushing them and hiding them in pudding or apple sauce etc. Many can be crushed, some cannot. Taking pills together and having her watch you take yours and keeping a no big deal, up beat attitude may help.
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Here's an update on my DW's issues with meds. I had for a long time, got her meds out with dinner. My new approach is to bring them to her with our happy hour treats, (which at this stage in our life, consists of cheese and crackers or popcorn and a diet coke). Three days in a row, she took them without a fight!
Where there's a will, there's a way. Thanks for all your contributions.
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Yea Ronk!!!
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That's brilliant.
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That's greta, Ronk! Sometimes you just get an idea, and it works.
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New here ( again) if that makes sense. My husband takes donepezil and memantine, along with meds for aggression, sleep, prostrate cancer…the list seems endless. When he refuses to take his meds, all of a sudden, he gets-pudding! Hurray. Pills crushed, in the pudding and consumed with a smile. He has hurt me on more than one occasion, (used to be such a sweetheart) my own dr told me to slip him a gummy candy with THC and CBD, which is legal here. He is pretty compliant after that.
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Good job, Ronk!
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Good for you!
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Unfortunately, that trick only worked for a couple of days. I took the advice of Gig Harbor and checked with her PA, all but two of her pills can be crushed. So yesterday, she got the rest of them in ice cream, today in her burrito. Gotta keep on keeping on!
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Where there's a will, there's a way. Thumbs-up.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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