Reminders
Even though I generally feel like I've come to terms with my DH's condition, little things keep whapping me upside the face to remind me that we live in a new reality.
I bought him a medical bracelet. Seems like such a little thing, right? Except, since my childhood, I have associated those bracelets with 'old people,' illness, and death. (As an adult, I know that's not necessarily true.) It symbolizes that he may get in trouble in the future and be forced to rely on strangers.
Also, he fiddles with and asks me multiple times every day, what is this? Why am I wearing this again? I gently explain again that it will help him if he gets into trouble and I'm not there.
I'm once again softening the truth and I manage his reality and what he awareness of what's happening more and more.
Anyway, I'm so grateful to have a place to vent!
Comments
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How about getting one for yourself as well, even if it’s used mostly as an ID bracelet? Things like allergies and blood type could be helpful. Or a note that you are the caregiver for your husband in case something would happen to you. Then you could tell him, “Hey, I’m wearing one too!”
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That's an excellent suggestion. There are times when doing things together works well. Getting POAs, having doctor visits, and now wearing bracelets. I like it.
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My husband wears an iPhone watch, and also has an iPhone. I made use of the "find" app and can find his watch or phone from mine, no matter how far away he could be. He still wants a watch, and fiddles with his phone a lot and usually has it, so even if he wandered away, I could locate him. I also bought Apple airtags and a wallet with a place for it, so if he only had his wallet I could find him. Just for fun, I also put them on my cats' collars, and I can find them, too!!! An airtag makes a beeping noise when you touch it on your phone, and I have trained my kitties to come home for treats when I touch their tag! Hopefully he won't wander away, but I do feel better knowing I have options for finding him (and them)! We have to be resourceful.
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Getting a bracelet myself is a great idea! Thanks!
I can track him through his iPhone as long as he takes it. He won't wear the watch because it lights up and he kept finding the AirTag even when I put it in his back pocket.
I figured with the phone, the bracelet, and the door chime, we’re in pretty good shape.
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While we are on this subject you should also set up your Medical ID in the Health app on your iPhone [if you have an iPhone].
I set it up on my iPhone after DW lost the ability to use her iPhone. I noted that I was a caregiver for my DW who has dementia and gave my DD as our emergency contact.
From Apple's website:
"Medical ID helps first responders access your critical medical information from the Lock screen, without needing your passcode. They can see information like allergies and medical conditions as well as who to contact in case of an emergency."
See https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT207021 for instructions. I understand emergency personnel are trained to look for this info.
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All solo/primary caregivers should wear a MedicAlert bracelet identifying them a caregiver for a PWD. What if you were to have an accident driving to the store and was unable to inform anyone that your husband with dementia was home alone? What if you were together at the store and had medical incident and he wasn't identified as being a family member?
HB
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This is good information. I have never thought about getting either of us a medical alert bracelet. Thanks.
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And you should keep your medical information on your refrigerator. EMTs are also trained to look there if they should need to come into your house for an emergency. Names and contact info for doctors, medical history, current medical problems, and current medications should be indicated, as well as the date information was updated.
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We both wear Medic Alert bracelets. DH's is because of his dementia and mine says caregiver. The good thing is if say something happened to me when DH isn't with me - they will notify people I have setup to be with him.
I look at them as insurance. I have them in hopes of never needing to use them. When we first got them DH was hesitant and I just said look, we both wear our wedding rings now we get to wear these also. (Notice I said we get to, not have to. Big difference.) He said oh okay and hasn't questioned it.
As a side note: with a medical bracelet / necklace you board a plane first. Just point to the bracelet and boom your at the first of the line. Its wonderful, your seated & settled before the mass of humans come swarming in! It makes it less stressful on both of us.
eagle
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These are such good ideas. I never thought about the IPhone health app feature and I’ve been dreading traveling with my DH so the ability to board early is a godsend!
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Wow...thank for all the tips. I would add to put ICE (in case of emergency) in your contacts.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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