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    New member with questions

    RA8
    RA8 Member Posts: 2
    First Comment
    Member
    in Caring For a Spouse or Partner
    My DH, age 81, with AD and Probable VD was officially diagnosed in 2021, but showed symptoms of the disease much earlier. I think he is stage 6. I am blessed that he is cooperative and seldom agitated. He has not been driving since before diagnosis and it has not been an issue for him.

    So here is my question:
    His driver's license will expire next month. Since photo ID is often required especially for medical appointments, should I take him to the BMV (Indiana) and request a photo ID to replace his driver's license? Also, should I inform our insurance company that his driver's license is expiring and to remove him as a driver on our policy? Our house and cars are owned jointly and our policy is for home and auto.

    I have been following this forum since his diagnosis and I want to thank you for your guidance. I have learned so much. I have set up the necessary legal documents: DPOA, Health Care Representative, Living Will and have used them with no issues. Because of your suggestions, I have been prepared for behavior changes, incontinence and so much more!

    Ed, your recommendation of Dry Direct briefs has saved lots of bedding and laundry!

    M1, your info on the purpose and limitations of AD medications has been invaluable as well as your practical advice on questionable medical procedures and tests when we know AD is a terminal disease. I feel more confident expressing my health care wishes to medical personnel because of your advice. Recently, I told a neurologist that my DH was not taking Namenda because I felt it was more a placebo for the caregiver than a benefit to the patient. The neurologist actually laughed!

    I am sorry I am not thanking each of you personally for all your guidance, but please know that when you share your AD journeys, I feel less alone.

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    Comments

    • M1
      M1 Member Posts: 6,788
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      Welcome to the forum, glad you posted. My partners driver's license is also about to expire so i find your question very timely. However, our state doesn't require drivers over age 75 to get a new picture (weird) so we've always just used an old one for ID and have never had it refused. Regarding the insurance, i asked our agent the same thing last year, and he said that our rates would go up if i removed her from the auto policy, since home and auto rates were bundled. So she is still on the policy, FWIW. Since your husband isn't driving, it may be a moot point, as it is here.

      Thank you for the kind compliment....

    • sandwichone123
      sandwichone123 Member Posts: 910
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      I replaced my dh's license with an ID, and gave him back the license (my state marks it void but returns it) to keep in his wallet. I keep the current one safe at home. The only time that's been a problem is when we're out and he wants a beer but the restaurant wants to check an ID. He's also still on our car insurance, as well.

    • Ragfoot
      Ragfoot Member Posts: 24
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      A couple of years ago, I was able to renew my DW driver's license on line with no test required. (covid rules were just ending). She voluntarily gave up driving several years ago and I contacted my insurance agent to see if my rates would decrease with me being the only driver. I also received the advice my rates would increase if I were to remove her from the policy.

    • mrahope
      mrahope Member Posts: 550
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      My DH is occasionally adamant about getting tested (he would fail for sure) and getting to drive again. His license expired on his birthday last September. I haven't explored taking him off the policy, but suspect I'd get the same advice. FWIW, he does have a valid passport which can be used for ID if it is truly needed. Just another alternative if it is something you have available to you.

    • trottingalong
      trottingalong Member Posts: 558
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      New member with questions

      RA8

      My 93 year old mom, who’s healthy, but cannot drive because of eye site, uses her expired drivers license when she needs an ID. My father passed away two years ago, and his name remains on all policies because it would precipitate a rate increase for her,

    • Ed1937
      Ed1937 Member Posts: 5,095
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      RA8. welcome to the forum. I'm glad you have found it helpful. As a fellow Hoosier, I never took my wife off our car insurance, even though she hadn't driven since the early 90s. She kept her license until about 3 years ago, when we got a state ID. I never asked about what that would do to our premiums.

    • Mint
      Mint Member Posts: 3,003
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      RA8 i have nothing to add and seems like you have gotten good advice. Im glad that you have been able to gain knowledge here that has made the road a little easier.

    • Elizabeth607
      Elizabeth607 Member Posts: 30
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      Member

      I too, am new to this group. Effective yesterday, my DH at 70 was diagnosed with AD. I am 61. The Doctor said most likely it was genetic - has the genetic marker (Mother had dementia, but was never tested for AD) and PET scan showed amyloid plaque. He also suffered concussions while playing college football and has ADHD. Since his last visit in December to yesterday, the Doctor said he appears to have progressed from mild to moderate.

      I have been reading posts on this forum for a few weeks now and also express my thanks and gratitude for the insight and information. I already have a lot of the legal processes in place or in the works. However, I learn something new each day I log into this forum. I am sad. My DH is sad.

    • Judy.T.
      Judy.T. Member Posts: 44
      25 Likes 25 Care Reactions 10 Comments First Anniversary
      Member

      My DH was a professional truck driver for over 35 years. Since he couldn't pass the CDL physical so we moved right to the state ID. On our state ID, you can choose to put a "Disability ID Symbol" it is for individuals living with disabilities due to a cognitive, neurological, mental health. It helps us at the airport going through security. It also helps if he wanders off, the police have it on his ID.

      As for insurance, I call our company and asked them. He was dropped which lower our premium.

    • RA8
      RA8 Member Posts: 2
      First Comment
      Member

      Thanks to all of you for your advice! As my kids often tell me, I worry too much. By sharing your experiences, you have allowed me to subtract one more worry off my list! (Most retirees have bucket lists; caregivers have worry lists!)

    • l7pla1w2
      l7pla1w2 Member Posts: 178
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      Member

      Thank you for your mention of a Disability ID, Judy.T.  DW is due to renew her license in April. She has not driven in a couple of years. She doesn't ask or offer or try to drive. Since DW does not, and would not, acknowledge she has an impairment, I don't want to start a conversation about a Disability ID. So I plan to do the license renewal by mail without checking off that she is impaired, get the new license, keep our two cars, and pay the insurance.

      The Disabiity ID would be nice for getting through airport security, but we're not likely to do much flying.

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    Commonly Used Abbreviations


    DH = Dear Husband
    DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
    LO = Loved One
    ES = Early Stage
    EO = Early Onset
    FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
    VD = Vascular Dementia
    MC = Memory Care
    AL = Assisted Living
    POA = Power of Attorney
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