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    frequent crying spells

    caregiver53
    caregiver53 Member Posts: 2
    First Comment
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    in I Am a Caregiver (General Topics)

    My 91 year old MIL, for whom I am the primary caregiver in our home, cries for no apparent reason many times a day. She has severe dementia; she can't walk, has trouble talking but is still able to say more than 6 words so is not eligible for hospice yet. She denies pain. Her doctor tried her on Zoloft; it helped the crying a little but caused abnormal liver function tests so was discontinued. The crying is distressing to me and others because it seems she has unmet needs but we can't figure out what they are.

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    • jfkoc
      jfkoc Member Posts: 4,143
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      I know this is deeply saddening for you. May quiet time together and lots of hugs.

    • M1
      M1 Member Posts: 6,788
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      look up pseudobulbar affect, it's uncontrollable laughing OR crying caused by brain damage to the part of the brain that controls emotion. there's a drug called Nudexta that might help, probably worth asking her doctor about.

    • pookabera
      pookabera Member Posts: 71
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      The emotional outbursts can be so distressing for loved ones and caregivers. I often have thought about my dad's anger and dismissiveness as being similar to a toddler/infant - his mind can't grasp the breadth of his emotions or responses anymore. He can't communicate with us in the same way he used to, and whether he knows that or not, I'm sure it's frustrating for him to be bedbound and unable to do what he wants.

      If I was caring for an infant that was crying or upset for no reason, I would do what I could to soothe and create a calming environment.

      I hope you both can find some peace and rest soon.

    • mommyandme (m&m)
      mommyandme (m&m) Member Posts: 1,468
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      edited March 2024

      frequent crying spells

      caregiver53

      Sorry for this pain you all have. I’m wondering if she’s already had a hospice evaluation and were told she didn’t qualify? My mom had lots of vocabulary when admitted into home hospice. She was even walking with a walker. I’ve not heard that a dementia patient needs to be in late stage 7 or only have 6 mos to live to be accepted.

    • sunnydove
      sunnydove Member Posts: 88
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      My mom used to cry often in the morning when she woke up. I could hear her crying in her room. I think she woke up to an unfamiliar environment (even though it is the same room she's woken up in for over 50 years) and was just scared. So now I get into her bed around 5 am so when she wakes up she's not alone. And the minute I hear a whimper I say, "Good morning my beautiful girl! I'm so happy you're home here with me!" to help her feel safe and recognized.

      It could be your mom is just scared. She might be missing her home (I don't think anywhere will feel like the home they envision in their heads), her family, her mom and dad. She might be wondering why her family abandoned her. If I was suddenly somewhere and had no idea how I got there, who the people were or how to get home, I'd probably bawl my eyes out too. Maybe just try comforting her by telling her how happy you are that she's home safe with you. And try to make the environment as cheery as possible. I have twinkle lights (holiday string lights) up in the rooms Mom spends the most time in so even if she's not sure where she is, it feels like a happy place. And if your mom can read, maybe put some colorful signs up that say "We love you Mom/Name!" I have those up everywhere as well.

      Hopefully this phase will pass. Good luck!

    • harshedbuzz
      harshedbuzz Member Posts: 4,957
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      @caregiver53

      Has she been denied hospice or are you assuming based on a misunderstanding? If it's the latter, I'd call for an evaluation asap. If it's the former, I'd try another agency as sometimes one will qualify a person when a different one would not. FWIW, dad's MCF contacted hospice to evaluate dad when he was ambulatory and speaking in sentences; he died less than 12 hours before the scheduled appointment.

      I agree with asking about pseudobulbar affact; it's fairly common in dementia.

      https://www.pbainfo.org/about-pba?gclid=1224afdaadb11393a4a6ca28173c063d&gclsrc=3p.ds&msclkid=1224afdaadb11393a4a6ca28173c063d&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=BS_PBA%20Info%20%26%20Neurological%20Conditions&utm_term=dementia%20and%20pba&utm_content=BS_PBA%20Dementia_PH

      HB

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    Commonly Used Abbreviations


    DH = Dear Husband
    DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
    LO = Loved One
    ES = Early Stage
    EO = Early Onset
    FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
    VD = Vascular Dementia
    MC = Memory Care
    AL = Assisted Living
    POA = Power of Attorney
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