Tonight the sides close in

nothing is or will be the same again. It’s painful, it’s sad, it’s hideous, it’s horrible. This is not me this is not the path I wanted or want to take, to fight against it doesn’t work, to run with it and you are lost. There is only one way that I know and that is to follow your heart with all the little things breakfast, lunch, dinner, the washing, the TV shows. Vent as much as possible this is a good place to let loose. Take care know we are listening.

This disease will control you. There is no way around that . You will be forever changed. But that is life, right? Everyday something new to learn.

The good thing is that there are many who have traveled this road and are there to help us 24/7/365.

Your poem is beautiful. And I understand. I’m only okay when my husband is okay, too. Now that he’s in advanced dementia, I feel he is most of the time okay and the disease is no longer controlling him. It’s had its way. I think he’ll simply fade and that’s sad, but peaceful. He is no longer desperate nor panicked with the scrambled messages of a broken brain trying to make sense. Within this past year he has said without emotion,” I cannot think”. And since this is the case he’s quiet and full of rote pleasantries and smiles. I hold onto him and make his now as pleasant as possible. He has no idea of time, place, nor past, but he walks and answer yes or no. He cannot think to hold on to a worry or a joy. He doesn’t know what he had, so it isn’t lost any longer. And I’m right here. And so proud of him!