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Elder Lawyer/Planning

pagunke
pagunke Member Posts: 10
First Comment
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in Caring for a Parent

Hello all

I'm sure this has been discussed at some point, so I apologize if this is repetitive. Having the input of this community would be greatly helpful.

My father is in the ES Dementia. My mother is completely overwhelmed and (as an only child) I'm doing my best to navigate this for her and take as much as I can off her hands.

it's been recommended that we contact an elder lawyer to help with future planning.

Has anyone had experience with this ? positive/negative ? what should I be asking ? is there any paperwork i'm going to specifically need ?

i'm sure many of these questions will be answered from the lawyer but I wanted to ask the community as well. Appreciate any help or information ! Thank you

Comments

  • cdgbdr
    cdgbdr Member Posts: 303
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    I was extremely fortunate to find an elder care attorney locally. Once DH had the geriatric assessment and they recommended the POA/DPOA I started looking. I could have gotten those without an attorney but opted not to do it on my own.

    She then recommended other things. We ended up updating the deed to the house, getting Wills and living Wills that we hadn't done as well as HIPAA forms for medical information. She put it all in a binder and provided multiple copies for doctors, health care agents, etc. She has also advised me on how to move forward when more care is needed. I hope this is helpful. A knowledgeable attorney should be able to help you and your mother.

  • pagunke
    pagunke Member Posts: 10
    First Comment
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/230176#Comment_230176

    thank you so much for replying and being able to share tour experience ! I appreciate it so much

  • pagunke
    pagunke Member Posts: 10
    First Comment
    Member
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/230177#Comment_230177

    thank you Susan ! this insight is extremely helpful.. we are in the process of researching local daycare for my father & also have an appointment with an CLEC next week. Definitely doing my best to take the burden off mom's shoulders..him being able to get outside is beneficial to his overall mood/behavior.

    It's certainly a struggle and doing my best to keep it together for her ! thank you

  • cdgbdr
    cdgbdr Member Posts: 303
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    Best of luck. Anytime.

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 6,243
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    A couple more points.

    It's best to leave dad home for the initial CELA consult as the discussions could be upsetting for him and you'll need to speak openly.

    You'll want a durable POA (DPOA) for both parents for medical and financial decisions. Mom can be primary agent with you as successor agent for dad, but you need to be mom's primary agent with someone else as back-up.

    Unless you parents have vast sums of money and/or a robust LTC policy, it's wise to talk about Medicaid qualifying guidelines in your state in case dad needs care down the line. There may be trusts and other plans to shelter assets.

    And you need a Plan B in case your mom is unable to be caregiver to dad because of illness, injury or death.

    HB

  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 1,652
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    We did a DPOA, living will and medical POA. We asked questions about Medicaid qualifications(not very helpful, not elder law). The lawyer also recommended we do prepaid funeral arrangements. The lawyer we saw would not allow us to meet without mom. We also asked questions about the DPOA and record keeping. Mom already had a will in place. I hope this helps.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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