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Kweisser · January 2

Hi all, DH was finally diagnosed with early onset ALZ (he is 66, I had struggled to get him to get evaluated for the last few years, so the doctors say he is the end of early stage, beginning of middle stage - although I still don't know what all the terms mean). He was able to pass a driving test so has a conditional license for 2 years, at which time he will need to take another test. He has an ATM card, which I would like to remove as he LOVES to go clothes shopping, for very expensive clothes he does not need or wear. He is often the target of phone scammers - fortunately he keeps me in the loop and I am able to shut these down. I would like him to have some sort of credit card (better consumer protection and safer then an ATM card) with a low limit so that he can buy groceries or pay for our dinner out. Is there such a thing? We have high limits on our credit cards and I removed those. Has anyone else faced this situation, short of taking all cards away (we are not quite there yet, and I would like him to have some agency while he still can. Thanks in advance for your ideas.

Phoenix1966 · January 2

Welcome, but sorry for the reason that brings you here.

Buying credit card branded gift cards is something that might work for you, because it sounds like you really should be taking the “regular” cards away from him at this point. Only one scammer needs to slip through for you both to lose a significant amount of your money.

mcamy · January 2

My DH also was diagnosed with EO at 55. He is 57 now and we have one teenage child left at home. As far as driving goes - Passing a test and being able to drive are kind of two different things. My husband could probably get from point A to point B but the Dr said he would not be able to react in time if something happened. So they said he couldn't drive anymore - what does his Dr think?
I had to quit work to stay home. We sold our farm last year and now I'm trying to figure out what to do. I don't have much advice - as I am in the same place as you - just thought I'd let you know you're not alone.

CampCarol · January 3

Hello, and welcome Mcamy and Kweisser. You may want a legal consult re; driving. I was told that since DH has a diagnosis of dementia on his medical record, he is no longer insurable. If your loved one got into an accident, you could be sued for everything you have. You could get a low-limit credit card, or just move $ in your ATM bank account to another to prevent him from spending too much for now, but this isn’t going to get better. You need to lock down your finances asap. My DH advanced incredibly quickly, and I have seen other posts as well where others have lost large sums of money by allowing their LO to retain access to financial accounts.

blacksparky · January 3

My DW was diagnosed with EO two years ago at 53, after several years of knowing there was a problem but never associated it with Alzheimer’s. The doctor said she shouldn’t drive anymore so we sold her car and I now am her chauffeur. As far as finances go, we went to lawyer and got all the paperwork done to start a trust and give me POA and also MPOA. I took her credit cards away and replaced them with gift cards of her favorite stores and restaurants. So far she hasn’t fought me about all of this. So sorry you have to be on this site but it has helped me tremendously. One day at a time is my new motto.

SDianeL · January 3

welcome to the place where you will get info and support. Sorry about the reason you are here. First get with an attorney while he can still understand and sign. Within 6 months my husband could do neither. Second, read the book “The 36 Hour Day” which really helped me after my DH diagnosis. Tam Cummings videos are also excellent. Third, he should no longer be driving. The Neuro Psychologist told me that with a diagnosis on record that if he were in an accident we could be sued and lose everything. I told my husband that the doctor said he had a visual perception problem and should no longer drive and that we could be sued. The next day he gave me his keys and never drove again. As far as finances, the sooner the better. You need control. Hide his ATM card. See if you can set a limit on a card. I just took all my husband’s cards and he was OK with it. I gave him cash when we went out to eat to give the tip. Lock down his iPhone and computer access using parental controls if you can. I understand you want him to still be able to do things but you don’t know how it will progress and you won’t know when a new behavior will surface, so better be safe than sorry. I followed the advice of this forum and my brother in law and am glad I did.

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