At what stage of dementia did your parent move from Assisted Living to Memory Care?

SiberianIris · January 6

Was it too early or too late? Words of advice?

Currently my 96 year old mom is getting assisted living level care, supplemented by a private caregiver during the day for supervision and companionship. She has alz stage 4. Does not shadow, wander, or sundown. Has some awareness of her memory deficits, so is holding back socially more and more. Still loves exercise classes. Generally happy now, thanks to Lexapro controlling her anxiety. Her facility says she's not yet ready for memory care, but I figure it's probably in her future at some point, because she has no other health issues other than dementia. Just wondering when that might be? (She lives in a continuing care retirement community with memory care on-site.)

Thanks!

Quilting brings calm · January 6

I think a lot of people go to MC when they are incontinent and can’t take care of that themselves, or when they need help showering and dressing, or when they wander or when they become uncooperative.

--Rebecca-- · January 7

I decided to move my dad when he wasn't going to the dining room often, and was failing to change his clothes. I was not going to wait for him to wander. He was in early stage 6. He lost the ability to track time, and he would go to the dining room when meals were not being served. He was experiencing greater incontinence issues, and was in need of assistance with showering.

As far as advice goes, ask; "how long is the waiting list for MC?" If it's 2 months for example, you need to regularly ask yourself "where will my mom's cognitive abilities be in two months?" Don't wait until she's currently ready for MC to put her name on the wait list. Even an immediate opening takes weeks of paper work and red tape before admission.

psg712 · January 7

Similar to Rebecca - I moved my mom from AL to MC when she started spending all day in her room because she couldn't figure out how to get anywhere else. Didn't bathe or change clothes because she didn't perceive the need and didn't know how to execute these tasks. She was still mostly continent but couldn't find her way down a straight hallway to the dining room. Neglected to feed, water or even pet her beloved cat.

I went to the director about these issues and asked about memory care. I found out then that she was on a "watch list" for possible transfer to MC. She hadn't been prioritized for it since she was not displaying aggressive behaviors or exit-seeking. I had to be persistent about her need for the move.

At what stage of dementia did your parent move from Assisted Living to Memory Care?

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